The road "Down" HOME

Looking back

2012-03-12T22:26:00.005-07:00

We've never celebrated "gotcha day". For many of our kids, it just was a very stressful day for them.

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This is a picture of Julius (blue) and Pauly (green) in the hotel Budapest, Sophia, Bulgaria. After Tom and Gabriel picked them up, cleaned them, dressed them for comfort, and really got to know them and love on them.

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They stressed out. :o(

Julius licking the bed, Pauly self stimulating.

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We wondered, would it have been easier for them, to have adopted only one of them, because together they seemed to multiply their sorrow and fear. They were the only familiar thing they had left and even they weren't that familiar with each other.

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So much sadness. So much for being rescued in their minds.

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I wish I had a recording of the very LOUD continuous noises,the grunting, grinding teeth, and yelling they made! It was impossible for them to be quiet, even while sleeping. As Tom and I Skyped those 5 days, he could not even hear me!

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They were also spitting and biting and drooling.

My heart just aches now remembering how helpless we felt. Holding them made it worse. Watching them was torture. We had to just be there for them. We prayed a lot.

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These last two pictures show their tongues working. Julius still comforts himself when put to bed by sticking his tongue on his blankie or sheet. He licks what he likes!

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Pauly holds his little tongue in now. Both boys are learning that spitting is "icky" and drooling is "ishy". Old habits die hard, but the cute little tongues no longer protrude!

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6 1/2 months later we see lots of positive changes. Pauly gets his own toys from the toy basket! This from a boy who sat and self stimulated for hours- amazing! He loves little kid size chairs, he used to plop his seat down on the floor. Now he scoots himself up into a chair. He still doesn't like to walk...but we're not getting him a wheel chair- LOL!

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Julius IS trying so hard to talk! Sometimes waaay too loud! He walks a lot! He has finally learned that nap time and bed time are not party time! :o) Part of that was Samson's fault! Samson still naps because he has a heart condition. He and Julius share a room. Sometimes Samson can't sleep, or Julius is loud. So Samson decided he would lay Julius down if he popped up. Julius thought it was great fun, he screamed just to get Samson going. Unfortunately Samson then hit him. So now two boys were in trouble!

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Now we are wondering, will our 3 new precious little monkeys remind Julius and Pauly of their previous life? Will they regress after hearing the 3 new boys mourn all that they've lost too? The new boys are older, but will Julius and Pauly keep their maturity or regress around more "worldly" older orphanage boys?

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Whatever happens we're ready! :o)

We wouldn't trade what we are doing for anything!

Can you help us??? THANK YOU!!

2012-03-11T19:09:00.008-07:00

Everyone :o) who has donated on our Reece's Rainbow page since Friday, Please let me know who you are and how much you donated.

Then I can enter you into the give away!

tarcher30@charter.net

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All of the chip in people are entered!

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Go here to check on the updates of the give away-

http://covenantbuilders.blogspot.com/

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Or read my post below!!

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THANK YOU!!

(((HUGS)))) and prayers to you all!

God Bless!!

We can never THANK YOU enough~

2012-03-10T22:05:00.005-08:00

These sweet people donated to our Reece's Rainbow Family support page!

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If you donate to the chip-in I can "see" you. For the Reece's Rainbow page I have to ask someone to tell me, who donated.

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I don't want anyone to think we are un-grateful!

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So~Amy~Renee~Ruby~Grace~Heather~hope~Jamie~Jeremiah~Paula~Constance~Roger~Elizabeth~Tia~Sarah~Martha~Mary~Kathleen~judy~Phyllis~~~~~~
(I know there are several more, I apologize.)

THANK YOU!!

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Thank You SO MUCH!!! And God Bless you all!

(((HUGS))) and prayers to you!

ANOTHER WAY TO HELP Noah-Moses and Jacob!! :o)

2012-03-10T21:21:00.003-08:00

http://covenantbuilders.blogspot.com/

PLEASE GET THE WORD OUT!!

Please!! Post on FB, anywhere and everywhere!!

Help our boys!! :o)

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This fundraiser will run 3 weeks from last Friday 3/9

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Tell Julia how much you donated to us and you will get the corresponding chances to win one of 83 prizes!!

$10.00 - 2 entries
$20.00 - 5 entries
$35.00 - 9 entries
$50.00 - 13 entries
$75.00 - 19 entries
$100.00 - 25 entries
$150.00 - 36 entries
$200.00 - 47 entries
$250.00 - 58 entries
$500.00 - 110 entries

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Sorry this only counts for donations starting on Friday March 9th,2012. You can put your donation in our Reeces Rainbow tax deductable page (click on the "born in my heart" on the right) OR our chip-in, either one.

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If you go to Julia's blog you can see even more information about this give away!!

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HERE IS THE LIST OF ALL 83 ITEMS. Total value is over $4,500.00.

1. 3RD GENERATION iPAD 16GB WiFi with engraving - $500.00 value - donated by S.
2. Kindle Fire Full Color 7" Multi-touch Display, Wi-Fi - $200.00 value - donated by Molly
3. Kindle Fire Full Color 7" Multi-touch Display, Wi-Fi - $200.00 value - donated by Kelly
4. Extra $250.00 donation to a waiting child of the winner’s choice
5. Extra $100.00 donation to a waiting child of the winner's choice
6. Extra $50.00 donation to a waiting child of the winner’s choice
7. 250.00 gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond
8. 250.00 gift card to Best Buy
9. $100.00 gift card to Vintage Pearl
10. $100.00 iTunes gift card
11. $50.00 gift card of your choice
12. $50 gift card to Bath and Body Works
13. $25.00 gift card to Old Navy
14. $25.00 gift card to Fandango
15. $25.00 Amazon.com Kindle gift card
16. $25.00 iTunes gift card
17. $25.00 gift certificate to http://www.handiworkforelijah.blogspot.com/ - This gift certificate will also benefit Lilly 3G on RR
18. $15.00 gift certificate to Vadas Creation http://www.etsy.com/shop/vadascreations
19. $5.00 gift card to Walmart
20. $5.00 gift card to Walmart
21. Beautifully and lovingly made Afghan by the M. family - $100.00 value
22. PUPPY EYES stained glass by Martha Walker - $50.00 value
23. Handmade Dr. Seuss quilt for a Double bed with ornate and detailed quilting by Heather Vitella- $400.00 value
24. Owl purse handmade with love by Brenda - $20.00 value
25. Owl purse handmade with love by Brenda - $20.00 value
26. Happy Hartman Handmade soap - $15.00 value
27. Happy Hartman Handmade soap - $10.00 value
28. 4 Handmade potholders - Made with hands of love - PRICELESS
29. Beautiful Dresser Scarf - $10.00 value
30. Chain crocheted by seven year old Maggie, who has a very big heart for orphans - Value: PRICELESS!!
31. Set of cards from Africa - lovingly purchased from an African man in a handcart wheelchair - Priceless
32. Set of cards from Africa - lovingly purchased from an African man in a handcart wheelchair - Priceless
33. Set of cards from Africa - lovingly purchased from an African man in a handcart wheelchair - Priceless
34. E-reader/ipad cover by Missy Breen - $8.00 value
35. Tag blanket by Shelly Berman - $10.00 value
36. Two very cute hand puppets by Missy Breen - $12.00 value
37. Monkey receiving blanket by Kaitlyn - $15.00 value
38. Pooh receiving blanket by Kaitlyn - $15.00 value
39. Flower receiving blanket by Kaitlyn - $15.00 value
40. Beautiful handmade child's quilt donated by Amanda Burlingham - $45.00 value
41. Homemade hair clips and bow by Jamie Lentz - $20.00 value
42. Melissa and Doug Vehicle Puzzles in a Box Set - $12.00 value
43. 100% Highland newborn Booties and Aviatrix baby hat - $20.00 value
44. ART GIFT SET (Crayola and Elmer's products) - $50.00 value
45. Handmade doll by Becky Wangerin - $29.00 value
46. 2 handmade grosgrain ribbon bows. One of the bows is a ladybug and the other is a butterfly. Plus a bow organizer/holder for the bows. It is a wooden cloud with a long ribbon attached. By Alissa - $15.00 value
47. Scrabble tile pendant with ball chain necklace. The picture is of a little juice box. By Alissa - $8.00 value
48. Scrabble tile necklace with ball chain necklace. The picture is of a flower. By Alissa - $8.00 value
49. Handmade bird's nest silver wire wrapped pendant necklace with 3 blue eggs and simple silver chain. By Alissa - $15.00 value
50. Can You Say Sew - t-shirt - You get to Pick!! - $12.00 value
51. Calling Orphans Home t-shirt -You get to Pick!! - $25.00 value
52. Kate Spade Black Leather Handbag - $295.00 value
53. Utility tote - $30.00 value
54. Metro bag - $52.00 value
55. Lia Sophia necklace and bracelet - $188.00 value
56. BEAUTIFUL pendant handmade by Sarah - You get to design!! - $15.00 value
57. Shamrock earrings (handmade) by Christina Reed - they are raising money for their adoption with these earrings - http://smilesandtrials.blogspot.com/2012/03/just-in-time-for-st-patricks-day.html - $8.00 value
58. Tiffany & Co. Revere 1 3/4 Qt. Crystal Bowl 7 3/4 Dia. - $70.00 value
59. Antique Salad Servers (circa 1914) - $60.00 value
60. Lladro: The Bridesmaid - $355.00 value
61. Walt Disney Classics Collection Timon "Luau" - $64.00 value
62. Walt Disney Classics Collection Snow White "Won't you smile for me?" - $75.00 value
63. BIBLE STUDY GUIDE - http://www.biblestudyguide.com/ (includes Teacher's Guide Unit 1, Student Pages Beginner Level 4 sets, Beginner Time Line and Bible Book Summary Cards (b/w) - $100.00 value
64. Christian Books on CD Lot One - Surprised by Joy by C.S. Lewis -New (opened), How Good is good enough? by Andy Stanley, I Am Not But I Know I AM by Louie Giglio -New (opened), What Good is God? by Philip Yancey -New (opened), Just As I Am by Billy Graham - $50.00 value
65. Christian Books on CD Lot Two - HOLY Discontent by Bill Hybels -New (opened), Radical by David Platt -New (opened), Rumors of Another World by Philip Yancey -Like new, Six Hours One Friday by Max Lucado -New (opened) - $35.00 value
66. Christian DVD Lot - The Secrets of the Dead Sea Scrolls, Mysteries of the Dead Sea Scrolls, The Forbidden Book (The History of the English Bible) - $50.00 value
67. The Daily Message-through the Bible in One Year (entire Bible on audio CDs, organized by daily reading) -New (opened) - $10.00 value
68. Digital Personalized Scrapbook - 25-50 page scrapbook - by Amanda Holmes - $100.00 value http://www.theresoneless.blogspot.com/2010/07
69. A Daybook of Grace: A Year of Devotions to Draw You Near to the Heart of God - $20.00 value
70. “7 – A Mutiny Against Excess” by Jen Hatmaker - $15.00 value
71. “7 – A Mutiny Against Excess” by Jen Hatmaker - $15.00 value
72. “7 – A Mutiny Against Excess” by Jen Hatmaker - $15.00 value
73. E-book - ANCIENT BIBLIOPLAN COMPANION - $39.00 value
74. E-book - MODERN BIBLIOPLAN COMPANION - $39.00 value
75. Charlotte's Chocolate Factory - winner's choice of brownies, blondies or cookies - $15.00 value
76. Charlotte's Chocolate Factory - winner's choice of brownies, blondies or cookies - $15.00 value
77. 1 dozen "cake balls" or "cake pops" by Kerri - $25.00 value
78. 1 dozen "cake balls" or "cake pops" by Kerri- $25.00 value
79. 2 loaves of homemade bread and honey by Diana Tyree - $11.50 value
80. 2 loaves of homemade bread and honey by Diana Tyree - $11.50 value
81. 2 loaves of homemade bread and honey by Diana Tyree - $11.50 value
82. 2 loaves of homemade bread and honey by Diana Tyree - $11.50 value
83. Chocolate gift basket - Comes with hand-carved wooden platter made from a Chinese Fir Tree. Basket includes Chocolaty Cherry Amaretto Cheesecake Fondue, White Chocolate Sauce, Hazelnut Zebra Hand-Crafted Biscotti, Chocolate Toffee Hand-Crafted Biscotti, Godiva Milk Chocolate Cashews, Godiva Dark Chocolate Almonds, Godiva Milk Chocolate Strawberries, A Large Assortment of Lindt Cream Filled Lindor Truffles, A Chocolate, Berries, Cookies, Grahams, Crispy Rice & Pecans Bar, A Chocolate, Peanuts, Peanut Butter and Chocolaty Puffs Gourmet Bar, 2 Godiva 3.5oz Dark Chocolate Bars, Godiva Milk Chocolate Bar (3.5oz), Godiva Dark Chocolate Raspberry Bar (3.5oz), Godiva White Chocolate Peppermint Crunch (3.5oz), Rich and Creamy Chocolate Walnut Fudge, Rich and Creamy Vanilla Walnut Fudge, European Delicacies Premium Cookie Assortment (incredible!), Godiva Dark Chocolate Truffle Bar with a Creamy Peppermint Filling, Godiva Milk Chocolate Filled With Caramel, Godiva Dark Chocolate Filled With Raspberries, Ribbon, Wrap and Ivy Enhancements - $200.00 value

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God Bless you all we LOVE you!

(((HUGS))) and prayers!

Are YOU against abortion!

2012-03-09T04:38:00.005-08:00

Yes! I am.

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I gave birth to a beautiful daughter, my first baby in 1976. I just turned 19. I was an un-wed mom. I knew many girls who had abortions then.(who now in their 50s suffer because of it) I married Tom when she was 2 weeks old. We had had an off and on relationship since I was 13 and he was 16. He was in the Army from age 18 to 21. When he came home, we married and he became our daughter Angel Ruth's only Dad. (She would be 36 this year, she died in a car accident at 28 precious years young.)

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Fast foreword to 1988. We were waiting to adopt our 5th child. We adopted the most beautiful baby girl with Down Syndrome. Her name was Joy Elizabeth. (her birth mom's name was also Elizabeth)Back then parents of children with disabilities, questioned whether they should carry a baby to full term if there was a known disability. They were often counseled to terminate for "the baby's sake". Our baby Joy's parents did something daring back then, they carried her to full term, loved her and chose us to parent her. Sadly our hearts were broken when she died at 5 months old, from medical complications. Her birthparents flew from AZ to attend her funeral here. Our baby Joy had 4 parents who celebrated every second of her life! This was not the norm then.

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In 1989 we were ready to adopt out 7th child, our 4th adoption. As always we prayed-" Precious Lord, send us the child who needs us!"

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This time we learned of the huge need for adoptive parents for children who were black. (My children call themselves black Americans- their choice) In our state, Minnesota, it was illegal then for white people to adopt a black child. (In the late 90s that was finally contested and found illegal in the supreme court, but MN continued to fight it.)

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We knew of an outspoken family with a long history of Foster Care, who had children who were black removed from their foster home if they tried to adopt them. They did this to this family repeatedly to make a point! We learned not to ever make our trans-racial adoptions too public for fear of retaliation. We were criticised often for "attempting" to parent children who were black. These same critics were not willing to save a life!

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I don't know how the outspoken family did it, but they never gave up and eventually they did adopt 2 children of color from Foster Care, from MN. The children the state did not allow them to adopt just because of color lost the most.

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We could adopt children who were black from other states. We were told that boys who were black needed homes the most. We "patiently" (no I'm never patient! LOL!) waited for our boy! And in July 1990 our 2 month old daughter Grace Lovey came home! A girl! LOL! Grace's birthmom had considered abortion 3X before a Christian agency took her under their wing and loved her. Babies that were black were not adopted then like they are now. At a Christian agency dinner to raise awareness for trans-racial adoption, a birth mom speaker, pleaded "Will anyone adopt my baby?" Can you imagine? Just because of the color of her baby, they had difficulties finding a family? It broke my heart.

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And this is why. If you look at the picture to the left, you will see MY baby Grace!! She is in the front center in the grey sweater, black dress. She was at a state wide Black CEOS conference for a very large national company. She is only 21 years old. She is also a Law student. Yes, her birthmom considered abortion 3X, because she was trapped in a situation she was not ready for. But I was ready, and because we teamed together- here is our end product- the Amazing Grace!! (yes I read her those stories as a child!) A gift from God! (o.k. I'm weeping un-controllably now!)

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Now a days it is more than acceptable to adopt any baby. There are waiting lists now for babies of any color or with disabilities. Especially Down Syndrome babies! This is amazingly fantastic!

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But there are no waiting lists of families for adopting children/babies like these from Eastern Europe.

They were not aborted in their country, because the cost of abortion is not affordable to them. That part is good. After all who can "afford" to end a life. But now, because they are not aborted, but still not wanted, they are abandoned at record rates there.

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So here IS a life already waiting, already saved needing your help. Are you against abortion? What will be your part in saving one of these children in a Country far away from your comfort zone, my comfort zone.

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Are you really against abortion? Could you offer prayer or support, and get the word out to everyone you know. Get the word out that these precious children need your help now! So that families willing to save them,willing to bring them into their home to save their life, can?

PLEASE! Support not just our family but any family! :o)

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God Bless you all!

((((HUGS)))))

YES!!!!

2012-03-08T02:05:00.004-08:00

WE got our verbal referral YESTERDAY !!!!!!!!!!

Now we need a FAST signature!!!

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PLEASE PRAY WITH US!!!!

THANK YOU!!!!! and urgent news

2012-03-05T17:56:00.006-08:00

We have another angel in the wings of our adoption. Her name is also Elizabeth. She posted about us on her blog here- http://keeponspinning.wordpress.com/2012/03/05/saving-babies-together/

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It is a beautiful post. I loved it. I was humbled and honored by it. We do not adopt these boys alone. There are MANY of you :o) and you know who you are, who silently, selflessly like Elizabeth help behind the scenes. THANK YOU!!!! (((HUGS))))

My chip in is NOT cooperating with showing recent donations. I'm off to try and fix it!

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Now the urgent news.

Here is more of what we know is happening to our boys in their orphanage in Eastern Europe-

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Donated toys are put into a bag and henceforth ignored in a toy closet.
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The staff all know the routine to impress visitors. An insider described this routine as “making one sick.”
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The donated therapy room is hardly used, but it benefited the
director–as leverage to get herself a higher pension.
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Sometimes the children aren’t fed on Sundays, when there is a
skeleton staff.
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The children’s diapers aren’t always changed every
day.
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One child has been kept in isolation for two years for an
upper respiratory infection.

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The caregivers unashamedly lift the children from the beds and
carry them across the room by one arm.
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They are deliberately underfeeding the children to keep them
small and weak, so that they don’t need much food or attention, and can’t be transferred (along with their government stipend) to the next
institution.

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My heart breaks, do you realize that our Moses has only doubled his birth weight in 7 years?? Recently on the news a 15 yr old in the US was found weighing 70 pounds. As terrible as this is, this 15 yr old (below) in the same orphanage as our boys is this big. She can't weigh more than 24 pounds. You can read about her family here-http://thesousabrownfamily.blogspot.com/

why??? ....cry....

much to do

2012-03-04T16:54:00.003-08:00

Our medicals and police reports will expire in April for our Country.

So on Monday we go to the police dept. for new ones. This is a steal- it costs only 50 cents! Then we notarize (free) and apostille $10.00 + gas for 140 mile round trip to the apostille office on Wed. in our 15 passenger van.

On Tuesday we both see the Dr to sign the two medical forms each for Tom and I. That is a $500.00 visit. Then we notarize (free) and apostille $20.00 with the police reports.

This week we wait some more. We wait for word on something we hoped to hear last week. Please pray with us that our Country moves our paperwork foreward quickly so that Tom can go first visit to see and HOLD our precious boys.

Last August Tom was in our Country. He was picking up Julius & Pauly. He received word while he was there that Moses was very ill and in the infirmary. A very Dear Sister in Christ was there where Moses is, when he was sick. She was able to hold him and have a picture taken with him. He is so tiny. We pray every day that he will continue his fight to live. These little boys may be tiny but they have strong wills!

Their strength reminds me of our Susie who lived with us 16 yrs in our Group Home. She had DS and developed Alzheimers. The Drs said she'd go to Heaven quickly. Once we called to re-new her meds and her Dr responded "Is she still alive!?" I thought that was terrible! We had wondered if her will to live would be strong, since she really couldn't understand. We found out quickly that she was not going to go without a fight! Her spirit was strong. Much stronger than we could have imagined!

Our 3 boys have faced challenges living without a mommy and a dad. They have had to be strong. They have done a great job!

so very very sad today

2012-03-02T15:13:00.002-08:00

I wrote about my sadness on my other blog.
I'm trying to keep this one clear for adoption information.
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The people in our Country who were expected to meet on Wed. did not meet that day, or Thursday or Friday.
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They did not meet at all this week...................cry..........................
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I'm trying to understand.
But I'm feeling very deflated right now. Not defeated, deflated- the wind knocked out of me.
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Yes, God IS in control. And He uses everything for good, His good. But there are waaaaay too many people getting up in the morning, living, loving, working, shopping...............who NEVER think about these children suffering day after day as they lay their heads on their fluffy pillows at night and sleep. And then get up and do it again....oblivious.
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My pillow is soaked with tears.
Jacob turns 7 this month, Moses is 7, and Noah turns 9 this spring.
They want to come home now.
*****
Oh, how I wish I could save them all. But there are many of us right now going there. Please sign our papers and set our children free.

No news

2012-02-29T13:31:00.002-08:00

No news. :o(
It's 3:30 here and 11:30 p.m. there.
Maybe tomorrow?
We aren't the only family waiting.
Please pray with us. (((HUGS)))

My precious Sister in Christ

2012-02-25T16:53:00.009-08:00

Would you please pray for my precious Sister in Christ. She is having a difficult time right now. It hurts my heart more than I can say to know this.

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When a Brother or Sister struggles, it is so hard not to be able to physically help them. It's a small world and we are all connected so closely, all of us made by the precious hand of God.

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I know if we pray He will answer her needs for us! Please join me in prayer! She is very important to many many people. She touches others hearts daily.

Thank You!

Praising God! (((HUGS)))

Paul Follower

2012-02-24T14:33:00.002-08:00

Pauly is named after my dear friend Pauline and Paul of the New Testament.
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Paul of the NT was a Follower of Christ. Our Pauly is a Follower of Christ too! Our Pauly loves nothing more than to listen to us sing hymns accapella! He rocks with joy!
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It still amazes us that the orphanage staff told us that this little boy "is very serious, does not laugh or smile". Because just from Tom's first visits, Pauly broke out into hysterical happiness! Totally surprising the orphanage!
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This is what I think. I think Pauly never "felt" anyone hold him like Tom held him. I think Pauly knew this was love. And I think he wanted to be loved desperately.
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When Tom and Gabriel took him to the hotel for 5 days before they could come home, Pauly was not happy. He had lost everything he'd ever known.

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And he let Tom and Gabe know all about it! Grunting, grinding his teeth, moaning- loudly! Then he came home and told me all about it! LOL!!

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I wish I knew the day things switched for him. I know it happened gradually. And now he has become that little boy that everyone stereotypes! When they say "Oh! Down Syndrome! Those children are SO HAPPY!!" And we roll our eyes thinking, not really, they are just like us. Some crabby, some happy, some quiet, some shy. But Pauly!!! He IS that HAPPY HAPPY kid who happens to have DS. He IS the smiling cheerful singing love that people imagine with DS. Every single day! Even Gabe wonders how this could be the same boy he was camped out in a hotel for 5 days with, because he was so grumpy! He didn't even smile the whole trip home.

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Even more interesting is that Pauly was aggressive when Tom took him from the orphanage. Pauly tried to attack Julius. Pauly pulled Julius' hair. Julius is the stronger, quicker thinker. So you would have thought Julius would have been aggressive towards Pauly. He wasn't. Now Julius will take advantage of Pauly's good mood. Julius is a thinker and Pauly is a feelings kind of guy! Love those feelings Pauly has!

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Pauly just started vocalizing "words". Tonight it was "YA" (a sound-like in apple) He says it really loud. For some reason both boys think loud is better! LOL! Boy thing? Orphanage thing? Who knows! We think it's o.k. Our Samson who could not hear the first 3 years of his life whispers his words. It drives us crazy!! LOL!

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Oh! the love Pauly gives with his entire chubby little body! He has amazing abdominal muscles, he is the sit up king! He loves to climb bunk bed ladders. But his all over muscle strength is alot of work for him to control! If he's next to me and wants to climb up. he can only shrug his shoulders up! I get the signal right away! :o)

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How can a boy from thousands of miles away, fit into my arms like he's always been here? Like I was just living my life waiting for something, not knowing what it was, and it was him! and Julius! How can people look at us like we've lost our minds when they won't even help one of these precious children find homes by donating supplies, time or money?

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God has overwhelmed us with blessings as we submit our will to His. Our eyes have been opened, we will forever be part of this in any way we can for life. There will come the day we can't go back to BG. But we can support the others as they go! All so little boys can let down their guard to love and be loved and LAUGH all day! Just like Pauly!

Julius Believer

2012-02-23T11:55:00.003-08:00

Julius is named after the Centurion, a Roman soldier who was very kind to Paul in Acts 27. Because of Paul he even became a believer in Christ. Our Julius Believer.
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Julius is precious. He's very active when he plays with his sibs, and very calm when he sits with me. Tuesday night the 4 as we call them because they are so close in age, (LOL!!!) went to bed early. They were in trouble. So it was just Julius & Pauly and me.
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I like to crochet and Julius likes to help pull the yarn from the skein, to "help" me. :o)
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Pauly likes to play with Julius, but Julius does not like to play with Pauly. He becomes annoyed by Pauly's autistic behaviors. Which is odd because lately he has been copying a few of them!
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This night Julius suddenly decided instead of "helping" me, he'd grab my crochet hook and make a mess! But I saw him coming and caught him! :o) He turned away from me and did a little cry out of frustration from being caught. But quickly stopped and resumed helping! That was a big milestone for him since he likes to cry for attention. He recovered quickly.
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Pauly went to bed first that night and Julius and I were alone. Julius loves one on one attention, Pauly thinks the more the merrier!! That night Julius did something he's never done before. He laid down next to me on my bed as I was crocheting. He felt my fleece sheet was soft like his blankie. He likes to touch his tongue on his blankie and make little sucking noises when he falls asleep. He started doing that to my sheet. It was the closest thing to him snuggling with me!
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Normally he will lay further from us. He'll just plop himself down. He usually doesn't seek closeness like Pauly. But this night he was closer to me than usual. I could stroke his back and head. He smiled and laughed softly as I did this to let me know he liked it. It's about as affectionate as he likes to be right now.
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After about a half hour it was his bed time. I carried him to bed and lay him down. As I covered him I put his blankie near his mouth. He smiled and resumed his little sucking sounds. He went right to sleep. This was the first time he's ever gone right to sleep since he's been home. It was precious because he now knows the routine and this night he participated in it. He has a home, he has a bed, he has a blankie, he has a mommy, he has a family.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Every day I thank the Lord for bringing this beautiful boy into our lives. This boy, who is now my precious son. A precious gift from God. Created by God for good. Created to worship God in his own special way. His heart is opening up daily to accept the love of Christ! What joy to see him learn to trust and love! What joy to be his family!

Time flies when you are having so much fun!

2012-02-14T12:15:00.000-08:00

In one week the boys will have been home 6 whole months!! *shock*!!
Where has all the time gone?
~~~~~~~~~~
I made these 2 collages for Bulgaria. The top one is Julius. Top left corner photo is from March 2011. First visit with Dad. The rest from home!
~~~~~~~~~~
The bottom collage is Pauly. Top left with Dad 3/11 first visit. The rest from home.

~~~~~~~~~
In 6 months we still see spitting, teeth grinding, and Pauly still bites. But not with the frequency and intensity of September. We encourage Pauly to "chew" on chewie toys. Sometimes he tries to take a bite of us too. But now it's slow enough we can stop him!
~~~~~~~~~~
They both used to be very LOUD!! If they were afraid to be out of the house, they hummed and groaned loudly. It was loud enough that we could not hear other people talking to us! Now Julius just has short outbursts of loudness. We think he's using the tone of his voice to get attention. And Pauly is pretty quiet unless he's cranky!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Julius attempts to "talk", but does not like to mimic or copy sounds and words with us. Pauly doesn't attempt to talk, but he sings! He sings and sings and sings! He is an extraordinarily happy boy. He loves to laugh and be ticked and hugged and kissed. Julius likes affection too, but his trust issues cause him to hold back. Pauly just melts. Even with Pauly's autistic behaviors, he'd rather melt into one of us than do his autistic gestures with his head, hands and feet. Every once in a while Julius lets his guard down and shows us his happy side!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They both know we are family now. They don't say our names or call us anything, but when they hear our names they know who we are. They don't fear new people as they did before, they seek us instead for comfort.They now love and trust us. And as my sweet Sister in Christ Sonya mentioned in a comment- "love grows". Their love for us grows each day. Oh what joy it brings us all! How did we ever live without them? Our love for them is HUGE!
Our 8,8,9 and 11 year old thank us every day for their brothers. We tell them God sent us these boys/blessings! We thank God!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Julius still likes to rip and break things. We can now predict what will catch his eye and re-arrange, that helps stop the damage! He fools Dad easily when he grabs things he shouldn't and laughs when he does something naughty! He is a stinker. He doesn't dare do that with Mom! He likes to "pretend" cry when he can't have his way. He'll stop when I tell him no, otherwise he'd cry all day- he thinks he should get his way all of the time!! LOL! (hmmm has he been watching me??? LOL!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pauly doesn't really do anything "naughty" other than drool and spit food. He even spits out foods he likes if he doesn't want to cooperate! He'll drool and slime his toys. One thing he hates is a room temperature wipie on his face to clean off the spit. A wipie near by helps deter him from coating himself and his things with spit and drool.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The boys tolerate each other much better. No hitting or hair pulling. They sit side by side during church. Julius may take Pauly's toy, but Pauly doesn't seem to mind. Julius does not share his toys, he holds them with an iron grip. During church Pauly loves the singing. We live stream church on our computer because we are miles away from a Church of our faith. The boys sit nice and are quiet for the sermon!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Too bad they can't tell you how I have improved as a mom since they have accepted me as their mother. Too bad they can't tell you how much I've grown in understanding little boys who come from orphanages! Because I think they would remind me that I had alot of challenges in the beginning with trying to reach them and calm their fears. I wasn't always successful in explaining "why" spitting, grinding teeth and biting was "ishy" and something we shouldn't do! They had to teach me things that I wasn't expecting to learn. Things like it's o.k. if little boys don't like cake or sweet treats. That it's hard to "sleep" at night without making your bed party central when you previously lived with lots of kids! That the way to a little boys heart is sometimes just sitting next to them, without expecting anything from them. And that when they are ready to trust, they'll let me know!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
We've sure come a long way in 6 months! And I'm so glad that they put up with me AND love me too! I just know in the next 6 months we're going to learn lots of more fun stuff about each other!! :o)
~~~~~~~~~~~~
(((HUGS))) to all! :o)

Our Auction model MA

2012-02-11T01:02:00.000-08:00

We just can't tell all of you Thank You enough for making our auction a HUGE success!
~~~~~~~~~~~
These 3 pictures below are MA modeling three of our contributions to the auction!
~~~~~~~~~~~
She loved modeling them for the three boys who will soon be a part of her life.
~~~~~~~~~~~
She likes to ask me "They have DS like I do?" and I tell her "Yes! MA they do! Isn't it wonderful!" and she smiles because she knows no other life and she's loved hers!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
MA was an orphan in a way also. Her mom was killed in a car accident

when she was 4 years old. She went to live in foster care. Life was hard, but she persevered. Thank goodness she at least had good food and a warm home even if others weren't always kind or a mom and a dad.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
For the last 24 years she had had a stable life with us.
Our daughter Grace is her Guardian. MA has known

Grace since she was born and we adopted her in 1990!! MA has birth family that she loves and we respect that.
~~~~~~~~~~
She is very much a big part of us too!
God created her perfectly in every way!

sloppy kisses are the best!

2012-02-09T12:14:00.001-08:00

Pauly isn't the best climber. He's a little clumsy and he huffs and puffs as he manipulates his adorable little chubby body climbing onto big brother.

~~~~~~~~~

He's all boy. Wrestling and physical contact are his kind of fun!

~~~~~~~~~

He can't help but express his joy with a nice sloppy kiss.

His kisses are straight from his heart! And his heart is 10x bigger than he is!

~~~~~~~~~
It took a while, but he made it to Isaiah's lips. These two brothers know that real brothers show each other affection!

~~~~~~~~~

These boys know that being brothers is the BEST!

~~~~~~~~~

These boys know that their mom adores them!

THANK YOU!!

2012-02-08T22:12:00.000-08:00

We just ended a very successful auction for Noah, Moses and Jacob at Hidden Treasures.
~~~~~~~~~
You can watch our chip in to the right to see the grand total! (our chip in had $195.00 in it prior to the auction)
~~~~~~~~~
Thank You!! for sharing your LOVE with our boys.
((((HUGS))) and prayers to all of you!

Our little pack rat! :o)

2012-02-07T23:03:00.000-08:00

MA and I are the same age. We are complete opposites in one area of our life right now!
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MA has become a pack rat and I hate to admit it, a hoarder.
~~~~~~
Me, I'm wondering what in the world ever made me think we needed so much stuff! I am donating things left and right. And giving things to any adult child I have who will haul them away. And I'm still not happy. I have too much! I've become a minimalist! ;o) I can't even watch hoarders on TV, they make me nervous, and I want to start throwing more out!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Most of my stuff is from the 90s. Things I was sure I'd need or crafts I wanted to do. Now they are going out the door as fast as I can bag them up! Most of MA's stuff is from recent shopping trips, the Senior Center (she "borrows their magazines") and"gifts" from her peers!
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This is MA's bed. Every weekend she puts all of her favorite things on it. I don't know how she chooses from all she has! LOL! This takes her hours. When it is "complete" she puts her CD head phones on and sings her favorite songs with her pretend microphone! She stands on that side of the bed so we can't see her from the door way!! It is good for her to stand because she develops clots in her legs easily. She thinks we don't know what she's doing. :o)
~~~~~~~~~~~
At this time in her life seasonal decorations stay out all year! Christmas stockings still hung in June. No order. I say she's deserves it. This is the time in her life when she can relax. She has worked hard. Each day is a holiday!
~~~~~~~~~~~
Every night (just about all night long :o) she reads her big Bible story book and her Bible. She underlines alot of her Bible and she copies verses. Her heart is for the Lord! She was one of the first students to attend school in our area, graduating in 1975, the same year as me! But we never saw each other, the SN kids were not mainstreamed. (We moved here when I was 16. In the Mpls./St. Paul school district they were not mainstreamed either.) The nuns here were allowed to come in and teach them everything about Catholicism. (It is a very Catholic town.) MA says long beautiful prayers in her mind. She reminds me daily "I pray for you! and your family." With a big smile on her face!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am blessed that MA is in my life!

We buy them freedom

2012-02-07T18:57:00.000-08:00

First trip airfare- $1,000.00-$1,500.00

hotel-$550.00- $600.00

VISAs for 3 boys- $1,212.00

airport taxi- $150.00

~~~~~~~~~~~~

2nd trip airfare- $2,000.00-$3,000.00 for Tom and Gabriel

3 boys airfare- $3,000.00

Extra luggage fees- $140.00

Exit physicals- $150.0

hotel- $600.00- $1,000.00

Food for boys and 17 yr old Gabriel ?

parking fee at our airport- $150.00

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Homestudy fee $3,500.00

Program fee- $13,250.00

Incidentals- (apostilling- about $100, I800A $720.00 plus $85.00 x 6 for fingerprints, I800- $720.00 x 2 fee for 2 xtra boys, Dr visits to fill out forms- $1,000.00, UPS-expediting and mailing documents- about $700.00, etc. etc. etc.! :o)

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This all adds up to well over $30,000.00

Didn't we just pay this last year (2011) for Julius & Pauly?

Yes.

Are we crazy to do it twice?(2012)

No.

And Lord willing, are we going to do it again next year (2013) for Belle?

Yes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

God calls us all. He called us to go. None of us can help these children alone. We are the body of Christ. Some of us help in ways that no one can see. But God sees! Never for one second do we forget all of you who are helping- you are the wind beneath our wings- all of you who pray for our boys and our family, all of you who helped us with our auction and donated to our auction, all of you who donated your hard earned dollars to our family support page, all of you who cared that these 3 little boys gain freedom to live the life God intended for us all. A life where they know God and serve Him. A life where they are freely loved by all of us. (including you!) Never forget that God called us All to help them, to do our part, to love them in any way we could.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It is beyond a blessing when God calls us all to do our part. Our family can't adopt every child, but we can help many other families bring home more children with mostly our prayers,and if we are able our donations, or money. God doesn't just use one family to do this alone! He calls us all!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank You! For being a HUGE part of our boys and daughter's life!

We LOVE you all!

He's not heavy, he's my brother.

2012-02-06T06:00:00.000-08:00

This top picture is Pauly's very typical autistic response to human contact. It overwhelms him, even when it is his choice.
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And then, he relaxes and he LOVES his big brother, and his big brother LOVES him!
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There is no greater joy!

Thank You God!

PLEASE make sure to vote for us! Please post our link!

2012-02-04T02:59:00.001-08:00

Please post this link on FB or anywhere you can think of!

https://longlivedreams.com?key=tarcher30%40charter.net

~~~~~~~~~~~~

American Family Insurance is having a contest- could you vote for us please!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When you click Vote it will tell you to register. The green upper button. It asks a few questions.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yes, Tom is going back to EE after our 3 boys come home. He is going back for our daughter. We are all in agreement, we are adopting a little girl! This money would help with her adoption costs. The prize is $10,000.00 before taxes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PLEASE! vote for us!
Thank You!
God Bless!

The Auction has started!

2012-01-31T20:23:00.000-08:00

Please shop the auction here to help Noah, Moses and Jacob come home!

http://treasuresinhiddenplaces.blogspot.com/

THANK YOU!!

~~~~~~~~~~

This morning our attorney in EE was translating our Dossier!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PRAISE GOD!!

My baby is home

2012-01-31T16:05:00.001-08:00

My baby is home from the hospital. Everything went well. It was a long drive to the specialty hospital and the surgery was 2 1/2 hours long. They got to come home right away.
~~~~~~~~
There have been some amazing changes with this boy recently. This precious little boy who has stolen my heart and wrapped it all around himself! He is starting to love us back! His personality is very wary of people and he does not trust easily. He is accepting us more and more each day as his family. Oh the joy this brings us! My heart could explode!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Last night I put him in the bath tub, cleaning him up for surgery. The bath tub is a place he has feared so much that he would shut down and not react. He would be frozen in fear. Last night when I set him in the tub he only held onto the sides of the tub with his hands. He let me gently put them to his sides. He sat and stayed there happily. He looked at me as if to say he knew it wouldn't hurt him. I cried. He trusted me.
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At the hospital after surgery, Tom could see that he was not afraid of the nurses or the Dr. as they woke him and tended to him. But as soon as he saw Dad- he cried out to him! He trusts Tom to care for his fears. We are now important to him! He wants us!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The surgery on the left side did not go as well, but the Dr found a solution to fix things so that he will not need future surgery. We will have to watch closely for infection. He has 3 incisions. He is in pain. He cries so sadly. He has pain medication that helps but makes him wobbly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thank you for your prayers!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On my last post Anonymous commented that Julius had "bed head" in his photo. You bet he does! Aren't little boys supposed to have silly hair with cowlicks and sleepy patterns on it? That's something I love about my little boys. Soon enough, he'll comb his hair just right, but for now, we tussle that hair and head all day long! :o)

Julius' surgery Please pray!

2012-01-31T04:09:00.001-08:00

This little guy is having exploratory surgery this morning, 70 miles from home, for his missing testicle and a circumcision. Please pray all goes well. He is just precious!
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Thank You!!

PLEASE vote for us!

2012-01-30T00:20:00.000-08:00

Please post this link on FB or anywhere you can think of!
Thank You!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yes, we are going back to EE to adopt a girl after our 3 boys are home.

~~~~~~~~~~

Tom wants a girl and I think he's right. LOL! Everyone here is in total agreement! :o)

~~~~~~~~~~

American Family Insurance is having a contest- this would help pay for our daughter's adoption.

The prize is $10,000.00 before taxes. :o)

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Here is the link- https://longlivedreams.com?key=tarcher30%40charter.net

After you click to vote they will ask you to register (the green button above)- it's just a few questions, and then you can vote for us.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PLEASE vote for us!

Thank You!!

God Bless!

What a week! If you're tired don't read this!

2012-01-26T20:59:00.000-08:00

Monday we notarized our I800A approval, Tom drove it to the cities (140 miles round trip) to apostille it. It was our last piece of 15 documents apostilled and notarized with family pictures for our Dossier. I was finally able to put our entire Dossier together!!
~~~~~~~~~
Tuesday we over-nighted our entire Dossier UPS to dear precious adoptive parents who will carry it to EE for us on Saturday!
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On Tuesday Tom also went to Social Security to get Julius and Pauly's SS numbers. He was told it was not possible without a birth certificate from our state! This is not true, our adoption does not need to be finalized here, it was finalized in Bulgaria. Tom had shown the Social Security workers- their passports, their Bulgarian Birth Certificates translated in English, Hague act papers, their Certificates of (United States) Citizenship. Nope, two workers, two separate times said that "our" embassy must translate the documents?? (UPDATE- today-Thurs. we got a letter to each child stating that their SS cards will be here in 2 weeks!! What?? We had called Michelle Bachman's office for help! Her office hadn't even helped us yet- and now? we get them?? Bachman's office has someone to help specifically with International adoption- he's calling us tomorrow!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tuesday night I also filled out our 2nd stage documents times 3. (sent to our government when Tom gets back from trip 1 with papers to add to it) One for each boy- Noah, Moses, Jacob. The I800 is long!! I had saved copies of Julius & Pauly's to jog my memory! I only need to fill out their expenses page yet. I want these forms submitted as soon as Tom gets off the plane 2nd trip!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wed. I had an annual meeting for one of our gals. These meetings are a review of the entire year- goals, objectives, Risk Management Plan, medical, behaviors etc- etc- etc. All I could think about during the meeting was adoption-adoption-adoption! LOL! So I was pretty clueless and useless. I felt like my "game" was off. The gal I work with was very kind and told me I did great! LOL!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thurs. we went to the police station to re-do our FBI prints "just in case" our others expire or the EE country's newly elected official request it. FBI prints take 8 weeks and then 4 more weeks to federally apostille. Ours were done in April 2011 and federally apostilled June 2011. Now if EE decides those are too old, even tho they are supposed to be good for 18 months, we should be ready! Phew! So hopefully by Tom's first trip- which we pray is April or May the FBI stuff will be ready!!? We UPSd our prints over night to the FBI.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tomorrow- Friday I go back to my pile of paperwork for the annual meeting. ugh. I hate paperwork and then on to our taxes! Owning a business makes taxes hard- I'll need all of Feb. to do them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It does feel great to get so much done this week! We had forgotten tho that we need $1,420.00 for the 2 added I800 forms- because there are 2 extra boys un-related being adopted. And $1,212.00 for Visas for 3 boys.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Re-reading their medicals we see more surgeries for all 3. Tonsils and adenoids, and 2 boys have undescended testicles. Possible eye surgery for two also. Here we go again! LOL!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Count it all JOY! MA=love!

2012-01-22T11:40:00.000-08:00

Not much is written about seniors with DS. My precious MA has finally hit the "world's" standard of a senior citizen. But if you have that extra something special, you age much earlier than others. So MA was really a senior citizen in her early 40s.
~~~~~~~~~~
In her early 40s we decided working in the community was no longer an option for her and she joined the Senior citizen program for adults with disabilities. She has never qualified for Senior benefits there, like free dinners etc. Because her "age" was under 55 yrs or 65 yrs old! This is not fair because many people with DS do not live to 65. And by age 65 we can already tell that MA will be home with us and unable to attend the Senior program any longer. They should really take that into consideration but they won't. :o(
~~~~~~~~~~~
Excuse the rash on her face. Winter wind burn on her delicate skin is hard to fight. She'll rub a napkin over and over it, removing the lotion we put on for it!
~~~~~~~~~~~

These photos were taken in her bedroom. She loves pink so she made me paint the room pink for her! It had been painted purple before for her room-mate Susie.

~~~~~~~~~~

MA has become quite the pack rat. She saves everything now and even digs in waste baskets for treasures! We really need to weed through her stuff, but I hate to make her angry. She loves to spend alot of time in her room and the bathroom. It is getting harder and harder to get her out of these two rooms and into the kitchen or dining room to spend time with us!
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In the top photo she is modeling a prayer shawl I made for our fund raiser.
She really is this cute and sweet and we just love all of the hugs we get from her!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

She is sorting her socks from the laundry in the other three pictures. This takes her several hours to do now as she likes to inspect each sock before matching it up.

~~~~~~~~~~~

MA won the Citizenship Award from our city in the 90's. She was a model citizen in our community! Everyone knows her and loves her. We share her with everybody! But God chose us to be her 2nd family for the last 25 years! She always used to remember our anniversary- July 17th. The day she moved in with us. But her memory is failing now. She used to put her Christmas stocking on her bedroom door handle for Santa, but she now forgets that too. So we do it for her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Her room-mate Susie lived with us 16 years until Alzheimer's took her home to Jesus. Susie was only 44 but if you add the pre-mature aging from DS, she was closer to 64. Now MA has Alzheimer's, MA's is progressing much slower, but still it is progressing. We've been down this road before with Susie, it is familiar road, in a sad way. We cherish that God chose us to go down this road with Susie and now MA. Even though it is a hard road. We are honored to hold their hands and wipe their brow.

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It is so easy to spoil MA. She is sweet and funny and huggable. We tell her this every day. We just absolutely adore her. The hard part is then she often uses this against us when she is having a tantrum. She wants everything her way! She argues that the mean things she does are not "her" fault. That "she" did not do it. She can slam doors, throw and break things and hit hard! The best remedy is to sit it out with her at a distance, ignoring her. She'll tire of arguing and realize if she wants to talk to us she needs to set things right.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When the dementia first hit MA became very quiet and did not communicate verbally much. This lasted about 5 years. Then suddenly she became very verbal again, only now her responses were confused and very much only in the moment. She can laugh so hard, long and loud watching a movie that we can't hear it! Oh! how she loves to laugh! She doesn't remember people or names. She needs to be dressed and watched 24/7. She used to take the city bus to work and write checks. We do everything for her now, she forgets the steps and order of how simple tasks are done. She forgets to use the bathroom.

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Last summer when we told her we were going on vacation she became very angry and threw a fit. She pouted and cried for days. Each year it has become harder and harder to get her to do things other than the Senior program. Once on vacation she's happy as a clam and even talks of how she doesn't want to go home!! :o) It's become difficult to get her to understand because of the dementia.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So when it came time to do her Biometric Fingerprints for Immigration, a 140 mile round trip, we lied to her. We told her we were going to drop her off at the Senior Center. She really enjoyed the ride there, but was confused, thinking eventually we were dropping her off. She cooperated super well for her fingerprints! But by the time we got home it was to late to take her to the Senior center. Thankfully she was less angry about it than she would have been if we'd told her the truth before hand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Our group home teaches adults with disabilities- independent living skills. When MA was 30 I taught her how to live independently. She lived in her own apartment for about 6 years. It was a mile from our house and I was paid to supervise her there 24/7. By her late 30s she had developed health issues she couldn't care for on her own and she moved back in with us. The dementia first presented with paranoia and depression. As with Susie, it just didn't seem fair.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tom and I have aged along with our gals. Our prayer is that we can care for them all of their years. But I have had health issues as well.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There is so much written about children and young adults with DS. They are so adorable and fun. But they do get old just like us. And I wanted to share a small glimpse of what that is like.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I sit at my computer there is always a small key chain made with beads laying under the computer screen. It says "JudithPual" on it.(for Julius & Paul) MA made it for me at the Senior center in October. I cherish it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Interesting to note- our Susie was an ornery feisty gal. But when Alzheimer's hit she became very very loving and sweet. Our MA was always a very very sweet agreeable gal. But when Alzheimer's hit she is now feisty and ornery! We never would have guessed this!

Thank You!! Our Approval letter came today!

2012-01-21T13:58:00.000-08:00

Oh! how our hearts have rejoiced to see the donations for our precious precious boys! And today another precious soul donated to our boys! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!
~~~~~~~~~~
This afternoon our approval letter came! It will be notarized and apostilled on Monday and sent with a family to EE on the 28th!
~~~~~~~~
Praise the Lord!

clothing!

2012-01-19T20:57:00.000-08:00

Clothing for kids and adults with DS is always a challenge. Not that it isn't a challenge for other people also. Like my precious little mom who is so tiny she could wear size 16 girls clothing at age 79! But those with that extra special chromosome share some common "fitting" problems that the fashion industry does not address!

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Like my big guy Samson. He's not that tall for 16, but he is built solid and physically he has always matured faster than his older by 6 months, taller thinner brother. He even got his beard way earlier than big bro! He's not my little boy anymore! He's a young man!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shirts always have sleeves too long for Samson, and pants- forget it! When the waist fits the legs are loooong, when the leg length is right the waist is too tight! Sweat pants are great- they fit pretty good and the elastic around the ankle holds them up! But a wardrobe of sweat pants is just boring!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So I found about 20 new pairs of pants around town that fit great, but all need to be hemmed. I'm afraid I've become so picky about having his pants fit well that I'll be sewing him pants from scratch soon! The new pants I found have sat for a year now waiting for me to cut 3 1/2 to 5 inches off, press, pin and hem. But I just don't have time for such tedious sewing!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So tonight it hit me! Slip elastic in the already sewn hem on the pants legs! This keeps the pants up around his ankles, and it doesn't look unusual at all on his sporty looking pants. Even his camouflage pants look good this way! It's kind of the style. I've seen pants with this look that tied at the ankle. They look good now and he's not tripping! Of course this would not work with dress pants or anything fancy! But I just pulled a few threads, slipped the elastic in and was done in record time! I used fabric glue where I pulled the stitches.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now I had more time to hem MA's nightgowns- ready made gowns are always too long! Make 4 new Duvet covers for our boys. And sew up fleece jammies for 4 little homeschoolers who needed warm jammies for our -15 below nights here!

The Lord IS GOOD!! Amazing news!

2012-01-18T13:31:00.000-08:00

Today was one of the most AMAZING days of answered prayer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wish I could tell you all of the mountains that God moved. Out of respect for other's prayer requests, I can't.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I can tell you- that our Immigration worker was finally assigned to us!!

AND OUR I800A WAS APPROVED AND MAILED THIS AFTERNOON!!

YEEEESSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!! YES! YES!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I can also tell you that many other prayers regarding adoptions were also answered in the most positive amazing way today. Beyond what we "expected", beyond what our little human brains could imagine! God was not just opening a window or a door! He was throwing all windows and all doors open. WOW!

God IS AWESOME!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Forgive me God, for my little faith. Forgive me for my half-hearted prayers when I am tired. Forgive me for the feeble words I offer up. Forgive my pridefulness when I think my prayers are beyond good.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank You for answering our/my prayers!

We serve an AMAZING God!

(((((((((HUGS)))))))))) to all!! :o)

Our chip in

2012-01-17T11:17:00.000-08:00

On February 1rst there will be an auction here-http://treasuresinhiddenplaces.blogspot.com/p/meet-moses-jacob-noah.html

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It will last 1 week. There will be lots of really cool things (all donated) to buy and all proceeds go to our boy's expenses- 5 plane tickets, hotel, VISA fee, passports, everything needed to care for them there for 5 days and bring them home!

~~~~~~~~~~

That is why the Chip in says $15,000.00 needed. But never fear- whatever we do not raise in donations will be covered by our ever ready credit cards! LOL! We have a back up plan! :o)

~~~~~~~~~~

We would love it if you would shop our auction in February to help our 3 luv bugs- Noah, Moses, and Jacob!

It hurts, he cries

2012-01-14T12:46:00.000-08:00

This precious little pumpkin has never had so many people hover over him and console him. Which is good because it hurts!
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Both ends of Pauly hurt- throat and bottom. I'm glad Julius is doing his surgeries separate. Bottom first, tonsils/adenoids second.
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Pauly HATES his liquid pain medication. He holds it in his throat as long as possible. Once it takes effect he feels so much better so the "fight" to get it down is worth it. His food has to be well buttered up to slide down and he doesn't want to drink so we have to offer sips every 15 minutes he's awake. He's sleeping so much better than pre-surgery- so that is a miracle! He's quiet!! :o)
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It still hurts so he cries. He cries because it hurts, he cries because he's sad, he cries because he's frustrated, he cries for his past, he cries for his future. Sometimes he just cries. Poor precious lamb. It is good for him to get it all out. Because we are here now to console him all the days of our lives. He will never cry alone again.
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God Bless his beautiful amazing Country of birth for keeping him alive until we could get there. God Bless the staff, directors, psychologists and Drs who cared for him with very limited money, low funds and big budgets. God Bless them as they did the very best they could. But they had their own family too. Life is hard there. I will not complain about what I don't have, I have too much. Compared to them, I am beyond rich.
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I know I complain about medical bills, I am self employed and the insurance I buy has failed us with the new changes and the boys. But I thank God for what we have! When we started Julius and Pauly's adoptions we used credit cards. We had previously had only one credit card. Now we have 3. We are praying that we will get the tax deduction quickly! (my business taxes won't be done till late Feb.) But in the meantime we are now using these credit cards for Noah-Moses and Jacob. Ouch! We don't have much wiggle room. But we won't worry. We are on a mission!
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God is good! ((((HUGS))))
Please rejoice with us!

Are we blessed or what? :o)

2012-01-10T15:01:00.000-08:00

This morning at 5:30 a.m. Tom took Pauly to the Hospital for his surgeries.
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Pauly was very stressed. He made his autistic gestures over an over and groaned and grunted. All the while tensing his body over and over. Poor baby. And then the nurse gave him a little something for his anxiety! He quickly melted into his happy little self! Everyone at the hospital fell in love with him! :o)
They asked us how we know what he wants if he's not verbal. It is amazing to us, because we don't think of him as non-verbal. He always expresses himself very well, even though he refuses to use signs. (He also does not respond to signs. He responds to what we say.)
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Both surgeries went very well. It was very quick! As a pre-caution they are keeping him over night. They feared that he would not drink enough or eat well afterwards. But our little butterball boy loves his food and drink, so he has already surpassed their expectations! He's eating apple sauce and drinking lots!
He is crying to Tom that he wants to go home. It breaks my heart. He's not happy there of course.
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I am home with SP, MA and the other 7 children. We miss Pauly here terribly. We are overjoyed that he is not facing this surgery alone. He has a family now! His Daddy is with him. He will never be alone for any medical procedure again.
We can not believe that WE are his family! God chose us for him! And we LOVE every minute of him!
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I talked to my mom this morning and she was worried how, with my health, I was doing things without Tom here. I was so happy to tell her that caring for our boys is NOT a burden. And the joy of them being here out weighs all that we do for them. The kids are very helpful and only SP and MA need my full attention. Tom and I usually attend to the Group Home gals together, so it is alot to do it alone. The Lord is my strength!
I just started teaching Faith (soon to be 11) how to help get SP a dry depend! LOL! The highlight of maturity here is helping the Group Home gals with personal hygiene. (Oh I can just hear some of my more selfish adult kids groaning about how they hated growing up learning how to help our precious adults clean up!)
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Little stinker Julius is enjoying all of the attention since he doesn't have to share with Pauly today! LOL! I think he would be sad without Pauly in his life, but for now he's enjoying the limelight!
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Tom will come home at 10 and help me ready for the night. With MA's Alzheimer's my day never ends. :o) Then in the morning he'll go pick up Pauly at 6 a.m.
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We rejoice in ALL He has given us! We are beyond blessed!
Thank You for your prayers!
We LOVE you all! (((HUGS)))

To "Kaylee" who commented on my post "more delays"

2012-01-09T14:12:00.000-08:00

Thank you Kaylee for your insightful not funny at all jokes about my post. I requested "kind" comments. Do you read English well? Honey, you sure picked a bad day to post a gnarley comment on my blog. Sure I posted your nonsense. Only because I think it warns others that rude people like you are out there. ......lurking.......
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I run a group home here in the United States- it is illegal in the US for me to have anyone living here who is or could be a danger to children with or without disabilities. It is illegal for me to endanger my Group Home adults with disabilities. We have gone through clearances for our Group Home every year for 29 years, we are not new to this. We ARE child protection advocates, as well as protection advocates for our Group Home adults. We have had to refuse an adult with a disability from moving in with us because they could cause harm to one of our children or adults here. We do protect everyone in our home. Our Group Home has a policy to even report us, if needed.
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We've also passed ALL of these Bio-metric fingerprint appointments less than one year ago. Maybe you think we could have had time to commit a crime since August?

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I have no clue who these children are that you are talking about. I have parented all 17 of my children since the day they were birthed or adopted by me. Three have died, many are over 30 years old, the oldest we adopted is 36. Show some respect to seasoned parents who are not adopting for their own convenience. By the way how many have you raised to adulthood? How many adopted?

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And I damn no Country other than the US because they are holding us up- not EE.

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Have a great day. And STOP picking on people you know nothing about.

More delays- :o(

2012-01-07T15:16:00.000-08:00

Today Tom got a letter. His finger prints were not accepted by Immigration.
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cry
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He'll drive down (70 miles one way on) Monday, the new appt. is for Feb 1rst but we can't wait that long. Our boys can't wait that long.
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We can't help but wonder, will there be any more finger print rejections? Tom's were fine last year! Are any of the other 5 of us be rejected one at a time through the mail now? ugh.
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Just yesterday I was having a bad feeling about all of this. I know- God's timing, but these boys are in a bad place.
Pauly has surgery on Tuesday. We did not need this.

waiting :o( sniff-sniff-cry

2012-01-06T11:11:00.001-08:00

My wild bunch of coconuts! You can see Julius is trying to escape as usual- oy! Pauly is pouting. The funny thing is that the older 4 kids don't care! They LOVE their brothers! :o)
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We are still waaaaiting for Immigration approval of our I800A. Oh! I am so tired of this waaaaaaiting. Last year this all seemed to go so much faster. This time I know the paperwork much better, but it's just not cooperating. I'm so frustrated and, well, depressed by the slowness of it all.
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When we called Immigration December 27th they said it would be 90 days from our FPs to get a worker. Last year we had a worker already when we got our FP appointments. And even with a delay they were quickly approved. This year it just makes no sense.

Why are people so rude to those of us with disabilities?

2012-01-03T00:55:00.000-08:00

We drove 140 miles round trip to get (6 of us) our biometric FPs done December 22.
They were busy. But not too busy.(last year there were 4 of us needing to be printed and they had us go on two different days) So we were glad to get it done at one time!

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When the fingerprint appt. letter comes it has a small enclosure with a man in a wheel chair smiling on it. It asks- "Do you have a disability and need help?" and where to call. Well we would be with our gals and Samson so we didn't need to call for help. That enclosure made you think they were disability friendly. Far from the truth.

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They were so NOT happy to see 6 of us. They were so NOT happy that three of us were disabled. (So much for the smiling guy in the wheel chair.)
They barely "fixed" our 6 clipboards with our forms and IDs falling off and shoved them towards us. And when I told them "I" was the one watching the three with disabilities; (Ugh-I never think of Samson, MA or SP as disabled!)the woman receptionist looked at me angrily and said "Aren't there two of you?" As if to say get Tom over here to take one. :o(
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The women who did the FPs were immigrants with accents. Who better than they to have patience with us? I'm sure they know how inconvenient the process is. Nope. They looked at us as though they had been asked to do something impossible. That they were being forced to print and touch retarded-mentally ill people. How sad.

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Of course I wish Samson, MA and SP didn't have to do these dumb fingerprints too. They have absolutely no criminal history. They couldn't live in our Group Home if they did!

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Our SP who is very mentally ill- cannot cooperate-she has sensory issues. It was made worse as she "sensed" the woman did not like her. So the FP woman kept threatening "This isn't going to work- tell her to stop pressing her fingers down." Finally after a few times of my asking SP not to do this, I said to the woman that SP was Mentally Ill. The woman blurted back "I Know!" Well then, I thought, why not give her a break? SPs fingerprints passed last year. This woman made it worse. We didn't dare ask her if they were o.k. SP is always hard to print even on paper.

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When it was Samson's turn they had me stand by him until they saw he could understand what they requested and respond to them appropriatly. ugh!

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When it was MAs turn she wet her depend and we had a few accident spots everywhere she sat- which I cleaned up. But they were looking as though they were ready to run from us.

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The whole thing was so incredibly stressful! They are never "happy" there from what we've experienced with 2 prior visits. But this visit was the worst ever! I hate to think of how much worse it would have been if we'd gone earlier than our appointment date, and begged to have them done early. We over-heard them tell one man- "Next time, come an hour within your appointment time or we'll send you away."
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We have never seen people with disabilities treated so rudely in our lives! As we left they were happy to see us go and said "Merry Christmas!" like we would "think Santa" and smile and get over it. We said Merry Christmas back- but we have never felt so unwelcome in our lives.
This was one of those times where their attitude just made everything harder for them and us. :o(

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I don't know why they would "threaten" that Sandra's FPs were not going to work since they were there to help us! We paid $85.00 each for these, they weren't doing us a favor. It's not our fault the government requests prints from people with no criminal background or the ability to even commit a crime!

more prayers needed :o)

2012-01-02T01:48:00.000-08:00

WOW! Last night after I posted here my "little" congestion and cold turned into chills and fever.
I don't get sick with viruses or colds very often, but oy when I do. :o(
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I need to be well to be with Pauly for his surgery on the 10th. I am avoiding him at all cost so hopefully he won't get this either and need his surgery re-scheduled.
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Also I re-configured my comments so hopefully this will solve the problem for those whose comments weren't accepted before.
((((HUGS)))))

All we can say is WOW! surgery dates - prayers needed

2011-12-31T22:19:00.000-08:00

We have been OVER BLESSED with donations! WOW! Our kids ages 7,8,9 and 11 are running in circles jumping for JOY!!

Gabriel almost 17 is a little more reserved! LOL!

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Me, I just fall to my knees Thanking God!

I am overwhelmed with the LOVE you all have for our three precious boys. I say "our" boys, but we all know that they are God's boys!

We continue to pray for all of you who are donating and praying for our boys!

We are so humbled!

God Bless!

We can never say this enough!

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Surgery dates are scheduled-

Pauly's is January 10th- circumcision/tonsils/adenoids/extensive ear wax removal. Here in town. Both ends. Ouchie!

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Julius' is Jan. 31, at the Children's Hospital about 70 miles away. Circumcision/exploratory surgery through the belly button area to find missing testicles, bring both down if possible. (otherwise start to move them and follow up surgery to complete moving them in 6 months) adenoids and tonsils removed. Poor baby that's alot. And both ends. Tom will be going with him, we will be home. :o(

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Please pray that their surgeries go well and that Julius' surgery turns out to be simple and easy to complete without any surprises or unknown concerns.

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We are praying that we will have lots of opportunities to witness to the people we meet; so we can encourage them to join us in adopting these precious children (with special needs) that are available all over the world! When they see all of the fun we are having- they'll want to join us by adopting their very own little pumpkin!

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((((((((HUGS)))))))) everybody!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

THANK YOU!!

2011-12-30T23:35:00.000-08:00

Another precious donation to our three boys!

Thank You! So much!

Praise God for your kindness!

God Bless you all!

((((HUGS))))) and prayers from us to you!

Our new normal!

2011-12-28T02:44:00.000-08:00

These two boys are different as night and day. But they are not different in their slow adjustment to family life. Pauly pictured smiling, will generally allow a photograph to be taken. But Julius-pictured with Hope, will avoid having his picture taken at all cost.

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Sometimes when I read other adoption blogs I am sad. So many of the kids are progressing and healing emotionally so much better than our boys. I find myself wishing my boys were so happy and friendly! Our boys are very behind developmentally for their ages. Even more so than most kids with DS. I shouldn't even compare them to the other kids I read about. But it's hard to see so many of the other family's children excited and happy about their new lives; while our boys avoid even "looking" around their environment. They are not observing our routines or interested in recognizing cues of what to do. Some of this still seems grief related.

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Pauly usually finds one of us to sit on or he sits alone. He even looks for a place to lay flat on his back-alone. Always doing his repeated-rhythmic hand movements, stiffening his body, contorting his head, hissing and spitting.

He has quit slapping his face and grinds his teeth much less. But he still doesn't respond to us appropriately. He knows us from strangers, but he just likes to "exist" with us.

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Julius is "hyper"! Always on the move. Moving quickly from one activity to the next. Throwing toys, taking toys. Grabbing lamps, pulling blankets off of everyone's bed! Crying to get his way. Demanding, and yet we can't understand what exactly he wants so in frustration he cries and spits. He just wants to "get away" from everyone. But we don't know where he wants to go! So we have to keep him near.

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None of these things deter us from LOVING them. We LOVE them unconditionally. They do like that we LOVE them, even if they don't reciprocate. We kiss them and hold them alot! Sometimes we just wonder how can we reach them or if they are reachable. They often still "act" like they are in an orphanage. Will they ever relax and just be little boys? If we sit them together they turn back to back to each other. They never communicate with each other. If we try a group picture, Julius tries to escape. Pauly goes into his "stiff" mode.

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Will they learn to say "hi" or "goodnight" or call us mom and Dad? The skills are there. The desire to do so is not. Their hearts are not willing to open up to us in any intimate way. They don't know how to reach out to us. Waking them each day-we smile and tell them "good morning", but it means little to them. Julius can clap hands, he's shown his brothers and sisters. But he won't show Tom or I. He "plays" dumb. (Our little RADish Molly used to "play" dumb when she didn't want to attach with us.) Is Julius showing signs of RAD? We've already bonded to him regardless! :o)

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Our boys don't act like typical kids with DS. Pauly acts like a boy who has Autism and happens to have DS. Julius acts like a child with RAD who happens to have DS. The DS may "soften" these things. We wonder how much their developmental delays add to the "wall" they have built around them. And then of course being raised in an orphanage has not helped their mental health either.

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These things are not bad things. They just are what they are. We wish our boys could feel our LOVE . And relax and enjoy their day more,rather than stress about things so much. They both are very serious. No matter how hard they laugh, they always return to being very serious, on guard.

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What I love is that God sent us these boys because He knew we were the parents they needed. We are humbled. We are overjoyed! No matter what- they are our precious boys!

We are crying tears of JOY!

2011-12-26T21:25:00.000-08:00

Our boys are so LOVED! By people who are selfless. People who may never meet them, hug them or see them in person. Beautiful people who pray for them and are helping us pay for their expenses to come HOME!

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THANK YOU! God Bless you!

We are humbled. We are crying tears of joy!

THANK YOU!!!!!! Oh my goodness!!

2011-12-26T17:07:00.000-08:00

We are so excited! We have received more donations for our three precious boys!! This helps our boys tremendously!!

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THANK YOU!! God Bless you!!

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We can't "see" who donated. But we have been praying daily for those who have donated. God knows who you are!!

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(((HUGS)))

Our hearts for adoption

2011-12-24T17:52:00.000-08:00

We've come home with 11 previous adoption bundles of joy over the last 29 years. All from America. One was abused way beyond what a mother should ever do to the gift God gave her. Others were hurt emotionally. Some were given to us after birth. Each one precious. Each one sent from God. I used to tell my oldest girls (Shirley and Angel) that some lovely woman somewhere was carrying my baby! :o)

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I tell people all the time, that God already knows who will birth the child and who will parent the child. Because it is His plan, not ours. He is the creator of adoption. He adopted us. None of us belong to each other, we all belong to Him only. He orchestrates our lives and allows us to make choices. The choice of adoption or being adopted by God is beautiful!

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It crushes my heart when I hear those who were adopted say some of the cruelest things against adoption, out of their pain. I understand the pain of being raised by parents who aren't the best. I was never adopted and my parents were not good parents. But I don't speak out against "birth" parents. As adoptive parents we are criticised easily by lots of people. We are expected to be more perfect than birth parents. Birth parents can have excuses. But because we "chose" to parent, we shouldn't have flaws.

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Is that fair? Is it fair to tell me I failed my daughter as a parent because we aren't the same color? Because I didn't give birth to her? Should I need to have Down Syndrome to raise a child with DS? This is so much silliness that causes pain and division among us.

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Is it fair to say that if my grown birth son doesn't speak to me because of his mental illness, that that's his choice. But if my adopted adult son doesn't speak to me because of his mental illness, I must have done something wrong in how I raised him? I mean seriously, I've failed everyone because I'm human, not because they are adopted or birthed by me.

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Even with all of that. I too had my own prejudices in adoption. I thought that we should only adopt here, in our Country. Our children here needed us first. I was fine with sending money to other Countries to help orphans. But to go all the way there and bring one back, when a child here waits. Nope.

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So in 2009, with our youngest child 5 years old and our oldest child 33 years old we thought we should adopt again. And we prepared ourselves. Each child has added alot of work and changes in our lifestyle. So we needed to think about what we would be able to handle at this stage of our lives. As we were considering, children were becoming available and we were asked if we wanted to submit our Home Study. Of course we did!

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We also called adoption agencies and asked. Even agencies that had placed with us before told us our family was too big, we were too old, the "square footage" of our house was too small, homeschooling would frowned upon. We were crushed.

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No wonder there are waiting children here in America. In fact in our sate, the next target group they are "considering" to target, to adopt these waiting children are- single career women. Nope, not "old" people. And yet we have the experience and time needed.

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The government has destroyed adoption as we knew it. 29 years ago when we started, in the early years if you had the love- you adopted. We have had to use the amount of square footage of our house to qualify as a licensed Group Home, or for a Foster Care or Day Care license. But adoption had always been- take your blessing home, love them and they will share the same square footage your other kids share!

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If you love them, who needs square footage? The hoops they wanted us to jump through this time excluded us over and over. On top of all of that our Social Worker was not doing much to help us! She ended up getting removed from the agency. We think she was prejudiced.

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But that was God's plan! :o) God knew that we needed a heart adjustment regarding International adoption and orphans. So He kept leading me to http://reecesrainbow.org/ . My heart needed to be softened because we were never going to adopt outside of the Country.

Our hearts were always wanting to adopt a child with DS; because of the many children and adults with DS we have and still care for in our home. Two gifts/children we adopted who had/have DS. (one now in Heaven) So the faces of the children on RR with DS kept calling to us.

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Then we saw that the beautiful Country of Bulgaria had no age limit and large families were welcome. We were in love! The rest is history. But we had to have a huge heart adjustment to realize that it did not matter where our child was. We couldn't be "adoption snobs" if our hearts were really for adoption. We needed to go where God sent us. I remembered thinking we were like Jonah not wanting to go to Nineveh. Because we did not want to go to Florida! LOL! But now Nineveh had moved all the way to Eastern Europe!!

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God sent us Julius and Pauly.

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If you've never adopted Internationally, I don't even have words adequate to describe it to you. If you've never adopted an orphan from an orphanage, you just can't even imagine. Just do it. You'll be glad you did!

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People ask me every day. "How are the boys doing?" And I tell them I don't know where to start. These boys are so special, so very very special. These boys are the easiest children to love that we have ever parented. It's not their DS. It's not their ages. It's not their personalities. I wish I knew what it was. Whatever it is, it is from God. Even through all of the hardships two little boys from orphanages bring. There is this overwhelming urge to just LOVE them as they are. No expectations. I wondered allowed to a friend once that maybe it's because they NEED so much love. They are like huge sponges, soaking up all of the love you give them. They never learned to ask. They used to push us away. But now that they know we aren't going to stop loving them. They just soak us up each and every day. It is so wondrous and joyful to experience. And to think we almost missed it because we didn't want to adopt from another Country.

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This is our gift at Christmas!

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

2011-12-23T00:00:00.001-08:00

We have received another blessing! Another donation! Thank You SO much! God Bless you!!

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Today we drove 140 miles round trip to get our Biometric Fingerprints. There were 6 of us. And they cost $85.00 each. This is our Christmas gift to each other. We don't "need" anything. And our children have more than enough.

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But this little boy- our Noah Faithful. He does need something! He needs a forever family! And we Thank God that He chose us to be Noah, Moses and Jacob's forever family!

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When we got home Thursday from doing the prints, we saw a bill from the State for our Group Home license. It had more than doubled! My heart sank. Last year it was $450.00, this year $981.00. We had just paid our Commercial auto policy for the Group Home, another $908.00. You have to buy a very expensive auto policy to drive "clients". So we have been hit hard this month.

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You might think that we get paid enough from the Group Home to cover these things. Yes, we used to. But in the last 3 years, the State has reduced our income every year. Some group homes lost 10%! Praise the Lord ours was less than that. Our gals/clients have also had increases in things they have to pay for like higher co-pays on medicines, and they only get one dental visit a year now, they must pay for the more. We help them with paying these since we love them like family. But now this is becoming more impossible for us to do. There are big changes coming in Group Home care. We'll trust in Him as we face them.

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However, please know that we are not complaining! All of it is God's money. The State can do what they'd like. The bills can come. We will forge ahead firm in our faith, Thanking God! Because He has blessed us beyond what we deserve.

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After our finger prints were done on Thursday, we called USCIS, we are not assigned a worker yet. :o( We so wanted these prints approved by Friday p.m. We continue to pray! We pray for God's timing.

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We want to (((HUG))) these boys soon!! Isn't Noah just a doll?

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Thank YOU! for loving these boys with us!!

saving money on hair

2011-12-21T23:52:00.000-08:00

We can't save money on Dr bills. But there are lots of things we do to save money on!
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One is I cut everyone's hair except mine. I get mine cut 2-3 times a year for $17.00 a cut. That's a $12.00 cut plus a $5.00 tip. I tip big because my daughter Angel was a Beautician and I know how hard she worked before she went home with Jesus. I tip in her memory.
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I started doing hair 30 years ago. Before that we went to the hair dressers. I learned how to hot comb from a dear Sister in Christ, eighteen years ago. I taught myself how to press, straighten, braid, bead, and cut naturally stick straight hair. My daughter Hope (18) had told me she wanted to do hair when she was small. So I taught her as well as I did hair and now she is my one blessing who can work it with a straightener and a brush like nobodies biz! :o) (hugs-Hopie!)
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My favorite is cutting curly hair! Oh how I love cutting curly hair! And I do like hot combing my Miss Lovey's hair. She's 21 but she still lets me! Stick straight hair is hard to cut. My Molly, my blessing from Korea, not only had straight hair but could not hold her head up and was in a wheel chair. Hair cuts were a challenge!
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Tonight it was boy's hair cut night! Five boys ages-16,16,7,4 & 4! (soon it will be 3 more!)
I give buzz cuts to my boys because I LOVE boys heads! Brown heads and pale beige heads! The hair grows back so fast, it's crazy. They are just so cute! And well we have a strong military back ground!
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Gabe had let his hair grow this fall; explaining to me that the bugs would bother him during our 5 weeks up north if he got his hair cut. So we let it go and what a mess! He refuses to comb his hair and he's almost 17. Even Dad said "Cut his hair!" LOL!
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Julius, Pauly, Samson, and Isaiah did get their hair cut at the end of August and it was already loooong! J & P were looking like they had "bed head" hair!
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So we cut Pauly's first. He was happy because he was staying up later than usual. He held perfectly still- Wa-La! We were done. We told him "BRAVO!" He just sat. He slowly started to shake and made his "I'm in pain" face and started to cry!! Hey we were done! LOL!! We loved him up and put him to bed. He was so cute, but not happy!
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Julius had watched Pauly. He seemed to act like all was great. As soon as the clippers touched his head he tried to grab them! So Lysa held his arms and Isaiah held his legs and I held his head! He was having none of it! It went pretty fast. He didn't cry or complain. He just tried to escape! When I was done he went into his bed which was moved closer to the wall to make room for hair cutting. The lighting is perfect in their room. As quick as lightning, to pay me back he ran to the end of the bed to grab a hat rack and rip it off the wall. Oh! My! Stinker! We had him lay down!
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The other 3 boys cuts were un-eventful and they were thrilled. They love to show everybody, and look in the mirror!
We saved $70.00. I'm so glad I can do it!

Good news

2011-12-20T14:03:00.000-08:00

This was posted on Shelley's FB page. This was exciting news for us!

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"I am VERY pleased to be able to share that the director at the orphanage in Bulgaria where children with special needs were neglected, starved, etc has been FIRED!!!! That orphanage is NOT indicative of the level of care that most orphans in Bulgaria receive and the abuse that those children experienced directly conflicts everything that the Bulgarian government is trying to do for the children in their care. Once they were made aware of what was happening to the children, they took immediate action and that director is GONE.
Today, we are thanking the Lord for those who saw the abuse and were brave enough to report it to the appropriate authorities(because many before had turned a blind eye) and that those in the Bulgarian government with the power to do so put their actions behind their words and laws. I have said many times that Bulgaria's adoption program, their policies in regards to orphan care and their pro-active government stance on adoption and orphan care is the one that all of Eastern Europe should model. There is no such thing as a "great" situation when
a child is an orphan, but orphans CAN be taken proper care of while families are sought for them when those in charge DO THE RIGHT THING. Today, we rejoice that the children in this orphanage will finally start receiving the care that they deserve!!!! (as a side note, there are FOURTEEN children w/SN from that place that now have committed families!)"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank You Shelley! I couldn't have said it better!

surgeries

2011-12-15T06:24:00.000-08:00

This was last March. I can't believe that this boy in the picture is my boy! He looks so different! (Julius)

~~~~~~

His brother Pauly is having surgery here in our city, next month.

~~~~~~~~~~

Julius has to travel to a city 60 miles away for his surgery because he needs a pediatric specialist. Tom and Julius will go there alone. The rest of us will be here. It will be hard. We've done it before with another child- but the separation is always hard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you adopt you always wonder what the unkowns will be. These surgeries were not a surprise to us, but they were unknown. Julius' need for pediatric specialty care was a surprise. We had hoped both boys could get their medical care locally. I know I shouldn't worry. But he's so little and to have him so far away. It will be hard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tom is a fantastic dad.

Love-love-love my BG boys!!

2011-12-12T21:18:00.001-08:00

This is Pauly with his sister Grace.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tonight I was on the computer looking for a little riding toy for the boys. I noticed a little person to my left was cautiously eyeing me!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Julius had escaped his siblings un-noticed. He was wondering if he was busted when I saw him!! LOL!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We call Julius "the thin man". Remember this old character? He was kind of like the invisible man, only his "power" was thinness. Julius is built naturally thin and the more he walks-the faster he runs! If you aren't careful he slips away!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hugged him and loved on him and held him on my lap for about 4 minutes before two big sisters and one big brother started whispering to themselves "Where is he??!!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They soon found him and took him back. It was a precious moment for me because Julius and Pauly used to run away from us. Randomly destroying things! Now they run to us!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Last week the Social Worker came to write the 6 month postplacement report for BG due 1/4/2012. I was sick, the boys were sick. The boys had to see her, I got to lay in bed. ;o) Tom visited with her. He said the boys were so stressed when they saw her. They think that each time new people come to visit, that it is not good. We had hoped the memories of Tom's first visit would be happy for them. But now we see that they equate visits from new people (as Tom was then) with being moved or taken away. :o( I hope and pray that someday soon they will be able to meet and greet people with curiosity and joy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They just grow more precious each day.

Coming soon!

2011-12-09T22:43:00.000-08:00

http://treasuresinhiddenplaces.blogspot.com/p/meet-moses-jacob-noah.html

In February there will be an auction here for our boys!!

If you would like to donate anything please e-mail me at tarcher30@charter.net

We will need a picture to go with it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am very excited! As I mentioned before three boys need three VISAs and three plane tickets, as well as adding to the hotel bill three times! Plus our Gabriel will need to travel with Tom to help- that is two more plane tickets! OY! As you can see it adds up fast! :o)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(((HUGS))) everybody!

YES!!!

2011-12-08T15:01:00.001-08:00

YEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!

Did you hear us ALL screaming!! Our fingerprint letters from Immigration came!! ALL six of us are going on 12/22 to have our prints done for Immigration. After that they will issue our Approval!!

YEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Another donation!

2011-12-08T11:06:00.000-08:00

Thank You! Thank You!!

God Bless you for being so kind and helping our 3 luv bugs.

~~~~~~~~~~

Our boys are so blessed by all who care and help them. Noah 8 yrs old has waited too long for someone to care. And Moses and Jacob both are going to be 7 in a few months- have waited too long. Way too long.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We had our check cashed at USCIS on 11/17 and each day wait for the mail man to bring us the Finger print letters! It feels like days!! ;o)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We had help with donations bringing Julius and Paul home too. We hug our boys knowing that others cared to help them come home, and they still care about them even now.

Thank You!!

(((HUG)))

So many changes!!

2011-12-06T12:43:00.000-08:00

After the initial shock of realizing the boys will- avoid eye contact at all cost, hate going outside, avoid adult women who remind them of orphanage staff, are afraid of taking baths, have no interest in anything except running and crawling in the oposite direction of us, grinding their teeth, spit, bite, and groan 24/7. (this is only a small summary) We have begun to see exciting new behaviors!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Each week we saw them accepting their new lives with us a little more, and grieving for everything they knew, a little less. And then we saw them start to do the things that were amazing!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pauly has a toy that says "turn the wheels to change a word" and he does!! Pauly responds to voices of people he likes with excitement and anticipation. He cries when he's sad. He likes a few toys. He doesn't pick a toy, we just have to give him one. He walks holding one hand. He did LOVE his vibrating teether, but he wore it out in 2 months and they are expensive! He is responding to his environment a little more each week.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Julius walks every where!! He walks from one bedroom to another to get a toy! Instead of knocking things over and breaking them, he pushes them away from himself! LOL!! He actually plays with things he likes! We let him pick his toys and he has real preferences for what he likes. He uses play tea cups to "pretend" he's drinking. (The boys almost freaked out when they saw play food, they had no idea about what that was about!!) He likes to sit with me when I crochet and he hands me yarn! He's a very quick learner and very smart. It is going to be fun to teaching him! One day he was sitting with me and I put him down to go play with his sibs, instead he turned around and came back to me! He climbs into chairs by himself. Amazing!

We often think that Julius must have recieved more attention, because he likes to "work" people with his antics. Pauly we think recieved much less attention, he gave up and withdrew. Now we have to give him reasons to "come out". It's hard. We could sing long praises about Julius' abilities, but Pauly's lack of abilities do not make us love him any less.

Both boys have fit into our family better than we ever could have imagined and each day with them is filled with love. The other day Tom told me I knew how to pick the best children. That was so sweet of him, but it isn't me!! :o) It's God!

Medical Bill Frustration

2011-12-04T10:17:00.000-08:00

We buy our own health insurance because I am self employed. The cost is now over $1,200.00 per month for a $5,000.00 deductible policy.

The boys have now seen the Urologist and the pediatric Urologist several times- not covered, the pediatric cardiologist- not covered, the ENT several times- not covered, Urgent Care twice- not covered, the pediatrician-not covered. Labs over $1,000.00- not covered.

WOW!

We cannot make an appt. for anyone to see a Dr at our clinic until we pay down the huge bill which also includes things for the rest of the family- like adoption physicals and Urgent Care visits- also not covered by Insurance.

So we begin to wonder, why do we have Insurance?? UGH!

We have upcoming surgeries for both boys. More Drs, added to Hospital charges.

The biggest frustration is the "new" payment plan. Just this summer when we were all paid up; but didn't know we still owed $10.09, the clinic threatened sending it to collections???!! Seriously????- we didn't even get a bill from them. Computer error----of course. :o(

Now they want everything paid in full, which we had always done within a few months for them for over the last 34 years until now. Now there's too many bills and we have to decide who gets what. They don't like that. We are not their "patients" anymore. We are now a computer print out. :o(

I think the president's changes are making things worse already. Just my humble opinion.

Soon!!

2011-11-28T08:22:00.000-08:00

Our check was cashed by Immigration a week ago!! Some families are saying 8 weeks for the fingerprint letters to come. Last year they came 3 weeks after they cashed our check!

Our Dossier is COMPLETE except for the I8OOA approval!!

All we need is our I8OOA approval!

YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then we get first travel dates!! (Well after our Dossier is translated and submitted LOL!!)

Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!!

2011-11-25T05:05:00.000-08:00

My lap top died at 5 a.m. Thanksgiving day.

Everything I have in the world of electronics is on it! EVERYTHING!!

I can't even log into my e-mail.

I am using our teenagers (all teens share one lap top)homeschool lap top right now, to let everyone know that until we can get a $$$ geek to remove my information from my dead lap top and load it into my new computer....................................I can't even read my e-mail.

I'm not dead! I'm lost!! LOL!!

Thanking God! Julius' heart!

2011-11-22T06:00:00.001-08:00

Yesterday morning Julius saw the heart Dr. (we LOVE our pediatric heart Dr., we used to have to drive 75 or more miles to see a children's heart specialist)

It was fantastic news! No heart condition. His heart is fine. We were told from his Country that he was being "observed" for a heart condition that he could/should grow out of.

Nope! No heart condition!

Julius' heart is healthy!!

YEAH!! Praise God!

We have other medical mysteries with him, but so far he is a very bright healthy little guy!

Next is the ENT.

Boys who were deprived many years don't ask for anything

2011-11-21T02:14:00.000-08:00

I wanted to share that we had made a big mistake and purchased many things for our little boys. Things that they do not like or know what to do with.

We bought Curious George, Toy Story and Handy Manny jammies and clothes. Just like their big brothers have/had. They could care less who popular characters are. They don't like TV or DVDs or even music! SHOCK! Clothes on or off mean nothing.

Tom saw that Julius loved a soft book when he visited them the first time. That was it, Julius held a book in his hands for 5 days. And Pauly liked nothing from what he could tell. So we did buy a few soft books. We also bought a stuffed bear for each, hoping they would attach to a soft toy. They never looked at the bears. Pauly chose our soft "Mr Worm" toy that is 11 years old and been thru 4 other kids. He is now chewing it up. So Mr Worm won't last another child. :o) I bought Julius a blue puppy that sings the abc song after he was home a month. Julius loves to manipulate electronics. But his favorite toy is carrying a small magnetic drawing board with its "pencil" dangling. He does not write on it, use it or play with it. He also loves his Lufthansa airplane toy to carry. Pauly hates manipulating electronic toys- he tries to shake them to death to get them to turn on. So he turns his back on everything except the vibrating teether and Mr. Worm.

Honestly, the things we already had- a few plastic trucks, blocks, a fun doorway from playschool that opens and shuts and plays music, some old baby toys. These things were already almost too much for little boys who have had nothing. We would have saved money by waiting until they came home.

All they needed was us.

The electronic story books we bought hold no interest. The soft cute blankies are chewed up and spit on. Their clothes mean nothing.

Some days I wonder if they'll ever "get it"? This is home. This is theirs. These things are fun. These characters are cute. We can dance to music! We can laugh at a "show".

But until then we just hold them. Work hard to keep their attention. We'd like them to learn from watching us but their attention span is 0. Right now Julius is trying to "get away" from everyone. He has cried alot the last 2 days out of frustration. Escaping is all he knows so we keep him with us. Pauly looks past us when we talk to him. We make alphabet sounds for them and teach them to talk quietly. They yell loud gurgling long sentences without consonants. They yell like they are talking to someone else? But we are the only ones here! They understand us more. We understand nothing they say.

My little survivors. I feel like Ann the teacher for Helen Keller. I want to reach in and pull them out. But until that happens they are still fighting all of this newness. The honeymoon is over. They want to go back now. Their stages of grief are predictable and long. We've done this with children before. It never gets easier. Often we cry with them, for the losses that they have had and for the losses they don't even know.

THANK YOU!! and a Pauly update ;o)

2011-11-19T00:38:00.000-08:00

THANK YOU- THANK YOU-THANK YOU!!!
Our luv bugs received a generous donation on Friday!
Thank You and God Bless you from Noah-Moses-Jacob and family!!
(((HUGS)))

Pauly saw the ENT Friday morning. He is having his tonsils and adenoids out. We have 6 months from insurance approval to get the Urologist and the ENT to meet to do the head and bottom things!

Oh-boy! As if the Immigration approval, biometric prints 75 miles away on different days for 6 of us and Tom's first travel dates weren't enough to think about! LOL!

Thankfulness- the economy and boys in far away places :o)

2011-11-18T03:48:00.000-08:00

I put up our fundraiser blog almost week ago. We have been beyond blessed to have three precious families donate items to our three boys. These are gifts from their hearts. The economy is bad, money is tight, work is hard to find. I am editing the post to leave the fountain up indefinitely. Maybe someone somewhere will be interested this spring. :o)
Please keep Sonya, Jamie and Heather (and their families) in your prayers. We cannot Thank them enough!!

I know hardship. We feel the economy here too. Our house value just dropped from $135,000.00 to $99,000.00. And yet the taxes went up again. If we were adopting from a Country that wanted "asset" values. We wouldn't have any right now! The real estate that we invested in (lake property, and 19 acres, both land with only garages) has much less value than before. Nothing is selling. Tom has only worked 11 years of our 35 year marriage. I support us. I lay awake in prayer too many nights asking God to care for our needs. But I'm far from complaining. We are beyond blessed by Him. He has NEVER let me down!

All of us living in America are beyond RICH here. We have the freedom to worship and express our faith. We have the right to free speech. (Which is not free, but paid for by our BRAVE Soldiers) We have "stuff" coming out of our ears compare to my 3 little boys in a far away place. We have food shelves and Churches that feed the hungry. I saw a woman on the MS*N*BC home page who said she feeds her children but skips meals because she does not have enough money. SERIOUSLY??? If this woman went to anyone's house- even mine- I know any one of us would feed her. I don't believe for a minute that any of us would not give this woman food. And be more than happy to do it! We are beyond blessed here in America! Praise God!

My 3 boys have potato water to eat/drink. They have such poor nutrition that they have health issues we don't see here. They have urine soaked clothes and sheets/ or no sheets. They wear urine soaked clothes. They are neglected. They are living on borrowed time. I pray that my little Moses can make it thru another winter. He is so tiny and frail. You may agree or disagree, but Tom and I feel that boys are the weaker sex. More prone to illness and death, not as strong as the girls. We asked God "Send us the children who need us."

Then there are girls, everyone wants girls. Beautiful precious girls. The girls are chosen quickly. We just don't get it. Why do the boys wait? We think our boys are as cute as a button. We love girls, we have girls, but when you see the hundreds of boys who wait. And die. And age out of the system. It breaks our hearts.

We take so much for granted, me included. I'm not pointing fingers here. We think we need more than we have. We complain about "rights" that people in other Countries can't even dream of having. Every day I wake up, I find joy that I don't even deserve. That's what drives us on to share what we have. After all we really don't "have" anything. It ALL belongs to God not us. Hanging on to it doesn't make us richer or better off. It makes our hearts cold. We are not giving what is ours, we are giving what is Gods! If He has given us this much and we give it away- certainly won't He give us more? Shouldn't we count on Him to care of our needs?

O.K. where am I going with this? If I was a fluent gifted writer I might have a point that made more sense here. And ending that was worthy of sharing on multiple blogs!! LOL!! If I could write blog posts more eloquently; I would say something wonderfully profound here. Nope that's not me. What I can do- All I can do, is POINT to HIM!! I have no words. Just humble observations and a thankful heart.

(((HUGS))) to all! As we prepare for Thanksgiving!!

More good news!! Julius

2011-11-16T21:01:00.000-08:00

Thank You for all of the prayers!
Julius does have DS. But he does not have the big toe space on his feet and he does not have the crease on either palm. So the geneticist may check which type. Julius is very smart and loves electronics. I would not be surprised if his DS was Mosaic.

Julius is getting circumcised and an exploratory surgery will be done to look for his testicles. He does have testosterone and he is male!! So the Urologist jumped to conclusions by "looking" at his bottom.
If they have to remove his testicles, he will need testosterone later. Not too excited about that. We pray they can "bring them down".

Praise God!! The Dr really scared us. Next time we'll trust our gut. We usually do, but because of the palms and toes, we thought maybe this Dr knew something we didn't.

I wish I had a cute picture to post of him here. Maybe tomorrow sister Grace will take one on her cell phone!

Pauly's heart is GREAT!!

2011-11-14T20:47:00.000-08:00

This is Pauly's million dollar smile! But why do the boys NEVER look at the camera at the same time??!! LOL!!

Pauly saw the heart Dr today. His heart repair looks good. It is repaired differently than Drs in the US would do it. Here they do two patches, in EE they did one patch. It looks good. He doesn't need to go back for 4 years!! Wooo-Hooo!

Next Pauly sees the ENT before his circumcision- in case we need to do several things at once! Poor baby!

Pauly (right) and Julius (left) eat exactly the same amount of food. Pauly tends to still be constipated even with everyones wonderful

suggestions. Julius does not gain weight. He stays lean. But he is taller!

Can I even begin to explain to you in words how much we LOVE these two little men! They are our boys in every sense of the word. They bring us sunshine every day. This fall I don't even notice the cloudy days, because the boys brighten every day for us!

(((HUGS))) to all :o)

Our new Fundraiser blog!!

2011-11-13T05:11:00.000-08:00

We have something very exciting to share with you!!

Our new Fundraiser blog!

If you click on the picture of the precious babies to the right. You will go there.

Julius and Pauly are both very excited for their three new brothers (from their home country) to come join them in their family in America!

Please consider entering one of our two raffles for the items donated to our three boys.(A river rock painted for you by talented artist Jamie! and a beautiful fountain!) The families who donated these items did so because they want to help our next 3 boys. We are humbled by their kindness. We are very thankful to them!

Please post this link-http://3luvbugsfundraiser.blogspot.com/

for our Fundraiser blog anywhere you can think of!!

((((HUGS)))) to all! We feel your prayers!

Samson our Superman!

2011-11-10T17:40:00.000-08:00

When I was posting the group photos from up north, Samson was in every one of them and he LOVED pointing that out to me!

Yesterday his sister Hope came over and took these photos of him.(thank you Hope) So of course he wanted to see them!

So here he is! Samson saves the day! Our Superman!

We love you big guy!!

Our 3 love bugs have Guardian Angels :o)

2011-11-08T21:35:00.000-08:00

Our 3 boys have Guardian Angels! A beautiful family, with a precious mom named Jamie. You can see her blog here-
http://momabearsadoptionblog.blogspot.com/

Her family has adopted from the US and B*ulgar*ia. Tobias and Talia are beeeeeautiful children from B*G. I have loved every minute of watching their journey. Their children came home right behind us, the week after we brought home Julius & Pauly.

Jamie told me that she wanted to help us fund raise! I was humbled. She is so kind. Yesterday her family donated to our fund. They really want to help our 3 boys. I don't know how we can ever thank you for your generosity, Jamie and family. It means so much to us. You are Guardian Angels for our boys.
THANK YOU! We love you!

Three boys means- 3 airline tickets for the boys and 2 for Tom and Gabriel. That could be as high as $5,500.00 or higher if they come home in the summer like Julius & Pauly.
Three boys means- 3 passports, $1,212.00.
Three boys means more USCIS fees- $1,440.00 for the I800, for 2 extra boys.
Three boys means more luggage, diapers, higher hotel rate.
Sometimes I'm too tired to even think about it! :o)

People like Jamie and her family give us hope, love and support. It's not about the money. It's about the people who love the children, even our 3 boys, enough to help them and help us to get them.

THANK YOU!! Jamie & family! We LOVE you!

Frozen in time

2011-11-06T23:30:00.001-08:00

Frozen in time. Recently a mom sent me a photo of the 15 yr old that she is adopting. She is from the same orphanage as my little love bug Moses, pictured here. She is so tiny. She is probably the same size as Moses.

Moses is 6 1/2 yrs old. He is the size of an 18 month old. The children in his orphanage stop growing. They are all very very small for their age. They stop growing. They just manage to survive. Look at Moses' determined brown eyes. He is a survivor. The most recent photos of him that I have, I can't post here, they show him sick and sad. He could die. He needs a family. And yet they told another mom there is "no change in condition", when they asked about him. Is that good or bad?

My heart breaks. There is another boy there much older than Moses. But he is very small. He cannot walk. His legs are pulled up to his chest. He is a happy happy boy. We thought he was our Noah. But he was not. He haunts my mind, as I think of him so content, laughing. He asks for nothing.

So far away. So many children. So helpless. My life goes on and theirs is frozen in time.

Please pray for these children. There are about 15 families going to adopt. But there are 250 children.

And so it ends in a blur ;o)

2011-11-05T14:38:00.000-07:00

Last photo, from Tom's one photo shoot in October up north. LOL! Five weeks, I lose my disposable camera, forget my real camera. Tom doesn't take any other photos. We all get sick. It goes by too fast!

That's kinda what happens when you're old. :o) Time flies!

When I was young pictures were everything to me! One year Walm*art lost Matthew's 3rd birthday party photos!! I was devastated. (That was 17 years ago)

Now I spend more time smelling their hair. Listening to their voices. And holding their hands. I've memorized these things all through the years and they mean so much more to me. A picture just captures a look, not a person. I can lay in bed at night and picture my 35 yr old swimming in the lake at age 14. Her 11 yr old sister (now 32) bringing Grandma's swimming toys down to the lake with a floatie around her neck! It's just like I'm there. :o) I even see my mom young again! O.K. maybe I'm strange! LOL!

MA tries to distract Pauly!

2011-11-04T16:14:00.000-07:00

Isn't it funny how things can change and you don't even notice? I guess we had so much going on I really wasn't even paying attention.

In September while we were on vacation, day after day Pauly was angry. Pauly had been angry ever since we brought him home. But in a house you can leave his area and not hear it 24/7. In an RV, he is right there, day after day for 5 weeks, fuming. I was sad. I was frustrated. It even got on my nerves. I loved him as best I could, but it was HARD!! I'd ask everyone several times a day- "Is he going to be angry forever?"...............................

But guess what! Pauly is no longer angry!! WOOOOO-HOOOOO!! Pauly is NO LONGER angry!!! YES!! Praise God!! My little ball of LOVE is a HAPPY boy now!! Of course he still gets angry. But not all day long, for hours. I didn't even notice!

Just today I said to Gabriel how cool it was that Pauly did not grind his teeth anymore! Julius still does once in a while but Pauly stopped! Gabe said "Pauly's not angry anymore either!" WOW!! It hit me! My baby is free from expressing non-stop anger. His needs are being met!! My prayers were answered!! Praise God!

Julius has had his blood work, but we found out it will take a long time to come back because it is genetics. The Urologist thought 2 weeks, but the nurse drawing blood said that would be pushing it. I hope the tests aren't too expensive!! We had a geneticist for our Molly that I loved. He was so helpful. He wanted to see us when I was 46 and pg, but I didn't care about genetics until our baby was born. Especially if we had not lived! But our baby was born better than fine! So now I am excited to see this same pediatric geneticist for Julius. Julius is also getting an endocrinologist.

(((HUGS)))

Socialization

2011-11-03T20:11:00.000-07:00

Julius and Paul do not like new people, new places, or traveling!

Tonight my good friend Bobbie stopped by. All of the kids were excited to tell Bobbie "Hello" and of course they dragged their new brothers over to see her too! Julius would not look at her. He did look at me! :o) But he mostly tried to communicate with the kids, he pretended no one was at our house!

Pauly saw Bobbie and was very curious. He walked towards her, until she started coming towards him!! :o) Then he tried to turn around and claw his way up me! LOL!

It's great to see that the boys know us. But sad to see that they are so afraid. You can't help but wonder- do they think we'd give them to Bobbie? After all someone gave them to us.

It seems they've bonded, and I'm thrilled. They do like us in their own way.

Last August when they had only been home only a few days our social worker stopped by. Pauly explored her. Julius was fine with her visit. Now they become distressed by new people. They tune them out, or try to get away.

I can't imagine how hard the adjustment of moving here has been for them. No matter how fun and loving we make it, it has to be incredibly hard for them. My poor precious babies. I just adore them! They fit into our family so easily, regardless of the behaviors. Each day they bless our lives more! When you drop all expectations for them, you can love them easily. Right now, we just wait for them to heal.

Who wouldn't love these little pumpkin boys!! :o)

We can't wait for the next 3 love bugs to come home!!

I LOVE these guys

2011-11-03T14:03:00.000-07:00

***** ***** ***** *

Only 2 group photos left to post! And Mr. Tom still hasn't loaded the new ones! Too bad he doesn't read my blogs! LOL!!

Everybody here is just way to cute for words!

I am blessed beyond measure!

I have been getting updates on Noah and Jacob, but not Moses, from an amazing woman adopting from the same orphanage. She asked the Director if she could see my boys or take pictures. The D said "no." :o( But she saw Jacob because he sleeps in her son's room, and she has passed by Noah and his Baba (volunteer grandma) in the hall.

Jacob (6 yrs) loves to suck his foot when he sleeps, and makes loud smacking lip noises! :o)

Noah (8 yrs) IS walking with his Baba's help!! And he drinks from a cup!! Yeah!!! He also makes great spit bubbles!

The precious Baba for Noah was assigned 2 days a week to visit him. He had sores all over his body. She came everyday!! She brought ointment for his sores and fruit puree to feed him and he is better!!!! These Babas save the lives of the children!!

I think when the Babas see that we are the same age as them, they will be surprised!! LOL!!

please pray for Julius

2011-11-02T16:10:00.000-07:00

***** ***** *****

Not sure why Tom stood back farther to take this picture. LOL!

Today the boys saw the Urologist. Pauly looked good, he did not need the operation for an undescended testicle. We are going to have him circumcised, due to adhesions. I normally do not like my boys circumcised, but I've learned with Samson that for lower functioning boys with DS, this could make bathing easier.

Julius has something else wrong going on and needs blood work to confirm this. There is something hormonal wrong. We "thought" it was undescended testicles, it is much more serious. Before the Dr can tell us what is wrong with Julius, we need to do blood work. Then we will need to see a pediatric specialist in hormonal issues, if the blood work comes out with what the Urologist thinks it is. The Urologist won't say what he thinks it is yet. :o( But we have an idea. I don't know if Julius ever had the blood work for DS, maybe he does not have DS? Or he has Mosaic? DS with this hormonal issue we can't name yet.

Please keep him in your prayers.

(((HUGS))) to all :o)

SP and MA priceless :o)

2011-11-01T13:27:00.000-07:00

***** ***** ****

SP is laughing at Tom here and MA is trying to help Pauly look at dad. Pauly is more relaxed, finally! Julius (back row with Gabe) is still thinking of escaping.

Tom says "They (Julius & Pauly) refuse to look at the camera!!!"

You can see my Samson (front left) is a mouth breather. We had his tonsils and adnoids removed to help with this. But it didn't. :o(

He also tilts his head to see. His vision field is off. His nystagmus did correct itself! But his vision field is still off.

Tomorrow J&P see the urologist for pre-surgery consult.

SP & MA forever a huge part of our life :o)

2011-10-31T12:12:00.000-07:00

***** ***** ***

Here SP is laughing (front-Nebraska sweatshirt). SP is always the "joker". And MA (left of SP) is encouraging Pauly to "look at dad!" She is always the "helper".

SP is a very serious person. But she loves to have fun. The problem is mental illness interferes, and some days fun is replaced by crying and complaining. We don't take it personally- which is hard, I admit. It can be long days. When she is having fun- she is the life of the party! You can see it in her beautiful smile!

MA is fun and light hearted for the most part. But with alzheimers, life is harder for her and she isn't herself. We don't take that personally either. We try to protect her from worrying about her confusion. Sometimes this back fires on us because then she tells us "we" are wrong! LOL!! She was so much fun to work with before the alzheimers. She was very active in the community. Shopping with her own grocery list, writing her own checks. Living in her own apartment with our help for 6 years! Working two part time jobs. Taking the bus independently. She won a Good Citizenship Award in the 90s for being such an asset to our community! Everyone knows her!! She's slowed down tremendously.

We thank God for bringing these two women in to our lives for so many years now. MA- 24 yrs, SP- 22 yrs. They have taught our family so much. They have enriched our lives. We have had many clients come and go in 24 yrs, but these two are still here. And we are blessed beyond measure by their presence. We love them dearly! We thank God for them!

Oh! my!

2011-10-30T13:03:00.000-07:00

***** ***** **

Clearly Tom has lost control of the "crowd" and MA and SP are not happy about it. You can see the strained look on Faith Blessing's face (yes, that's her full name :o)

Faith is helping with Pauly in front. She's trying to turn his head to "look at dad"! LOL! She expects dad to be in control!

I love the pictures where everyone is not posed! This is REALLY what it is like when they are all together. They don't do anything in sync! LOL!! In the back Gabriel is encouraging Isaiah to be silly. "Hey! Gabe, you're supposed to be helping here!!" Lysa is taunting dad in the back by waving!

They are all just too much fun!!

Well, except when Tom (has pneumonia) and I (have pneumonia) and Gabe (has mono) are sick at the same time and it's 85 degrees out in October!!

Of course Gabe still seems to find fun no matter how sick he is- oh to be young!!

(((HUGS)))

Everybody!!

2011-10-29T14:12:00.000-07:00

***** ***** *

Now MA and SP have joined the kids in this picture!! MA loves how small the boys are- she calls them "babies". She knows she has DS and she knows they have DS. :o) As her alzheimers progresses, she relates more to being with the kids instead of the adults.
SP does not look happy here, but she is. She has mental illness and is developmentally delayed.

We are so terrible about taking pictures. And it takes Tom forever to get them on the computer for me. I asked him to load a photo of our Molly in July and he still hasn't done it. He has new photos of the boys and I have to keep after him to make time to put them in. I wish I knew how, but I have been so busy with work, Tom does not work- so I expect him to do this for me!! :o)

In this picture Pauly (front) is still doing his autistic gestures, he's stressed being outside. Julius (back) is watching Dad!

Our precious family, minus Mom & Dad.
Six of our adult children not pictured, 3 children in Heaven.
Thank You God!!
(((HUGS))) to all! :o)

Thank You!! Thank You!! Thank You!!

2011-10-28T11:41:00.000-07:00

Someone has donated to our FSP page!! Thank You!! God Bless you!! (((HUG)))

***** *****

This is how the gang prefers to be photographed-LOL!!

LtoR back row-

Lysa (9) Isaiah (7) Kitty (8) Gabriel (16) and Julius (4)

front row- Samson (16) Faith (10) MA and Pauly (4)

MA and SP love the new boys! Pauly and Julius do not see a reason for us to do this! LOL!!

Julius reminds me so much of our Susie, who passed away. She could eat and eat and eat! She even ate a whole pizza for dinner often! She never weighed more than 110 pounds no matter what she ate! And she ate alot. Susie inherited this from her naturally thin parents. They experts say "people with DS have a slow metabolism". But I think they inherit much more from their family of birth than we can imagine! :o)

Twenty eight years ago they taught us that people with DS looked more like each other than their birth family- SHOCK!! I have never met a person with DS who did not resemble their birth family!

(((HUGS)))

so close- so far away

2011-10-27T12:24:00.000-07:00

**** ****

Same line up as yesterday. :o)
Julius & Pauly look down when they are uncomfortable. Pauly will stare at his hands and feet and make gestures with them and flap them, to comfort himself.

We were so close to getting our I800A sent in today. But then we found out that the referring agency that wants to review our Homestudy, put it in a "stack" of Homestudies to be Hague reviewed! Aaaack!! Our Homestudy Agency here, the one that wrote it, is Hague approved. Do I need a Hague approved agency to approve a Homestudy written by a Hague approved agency?? OY!
So we wait......tick.....tick....tick.......
I really really HATE waiting!! LOL!!
The 2nd thing holding us back is our 4th reference. :o( The reference said they wrote it- they said they mailed it. No one has received it. :o( UGH!!

I am not sweating over the time we've lost. I learn time and time again that God's timing is perfect. I'm just wishing things could go more smoothly. I really like smooth! LOL! I get so tired and overwhelmed easily!

2011-10-26T10:30:00.000-07:00

Aaaaaw! Gabriel is smiling in this one! :o) He was so sick with mono.

*******
LtoR

Samson (16) Faith (10) Isaiah (7) holding Pauly (4) Kitty(8) Lysa (9) Gabriel (16) holding Julius (4)

Julius is still stressing over being outside, he can't stop looking at the ground because he hates being put on the ground or in the wagon!

Pauly is very relaxed in this picture. (He had thrown his socks off before in frustration!!) He is looking at Dad and the camera. Moments where Pauly is in tune to us and paying attention to us are few, touching him helps, but if the kids hold/touch him he does not tune into them like he will with Gabriel, Tom or I.

I wish everybody could come over to our house and see how the boys are changing!! At night they are having long periods of being quiet in the night. The still sit up and rock, and Pauly softly grumbles and breathes heavily when he can't sleep. But from watching the other children sleep next to them, they are learning that darkness means quiet! Sometimes when I turn lights off for bed time Pauly whines/cries. I don't think he slept in the dark. My lights are on with the TV next to where he sleeps so it is not completely dark until I shut them off. There are always soft battery operated night lights on in the hallway.

Only Julius grinds his teeth now, about 6 or so times a day. It is a miracle that Pauly stopped grinding his! They did this constantly, non-stop. But we would carefully squeeze their cheeks and say "neh" (no). Pauly no longer stuffs his hands down his throat!! He used to do this while drooling, lots and lots of drooling. He still drools- mostly when he's bored. We are reminding him to swallow. (Samson was much more drooly.)

Potty training is going to have to wait with the boys until next year, or even the next! LOL!

We started potty training Samson at 4, he had been with us a year. When he was 7 , I told Susie's mom (Susie was our client with DS who passed away after 16 yrs with us) that the books said that kids with DS should be potty trained by 7-10 years old!! Susie's mom Verna (I love her mom) looked at me and said "Well then you have 3 more years!" ROTFLOL!!!! That was not what I wanted to hear!! I wanted to hear that he would be potty trained soon!! LOL! That she had potty training advice for me! But Samson was s....t....u....bb....o....r....n!!! And yes, it took 3 more years. His last accident was while we were up north in October!! Oh-my!!! I had mentioned in a previous post how I have decided that potty training is the least of my worries with my kids with DS. MA and Susie were completely potty trained. We never had a worry. But once Alzheimers hit Susie at 39 yrs old, she was no longer potty trained. Same with MA, for the last 6 yrs she has slowly gone from potty trained to total wetting, and partial BMs in her depends. I know TMI, but it is reality.

My goals for my kids with DS is that they love God, believe in Jesus and learn to be flexible. That they are well socialized, that they respect their staff at their work place and are cooperative with therapies and medical treatments. Does that sound too simple? Not for kids with DS. They are just as opinionated, stubborn, and set in their ways as we are. The only difference is that they are very "genuine" (honest) in their responses. If they don't like you- they don't like you! If I don't like you, I am going to be respectful of you and not let on that I don't like you. I am going to tolerate you until my interaction with you ends. My kids with DS and MA depend on us and others for everything. The harder they are for people to get along with, the lesser their quality of life is. We want them to have their own interests as we do, but we also want them to realize that they need to do what others ask of them first.

An example with Samson is, that when I ask him to do something or tell someone something- he does it. If Gabriel or Dad ask him the same thing, he walks away and pretends to do it. He never tells me!! He learned this partially from watching his sibs say "I'm going to tell mom!" and then they walk away and pretend to. So now we are working hard on having lots of people, not just me, request him to do things or tell someone something, and then making sure he follows through on it! He is also expected to be polite and have a good attitude about it.

Many people unfamiliar with DS think that all people with DS are "happy". Our Susie was one of the feistiest and ornery people with DS that we had ever worked with! We have seen that depression/low Serotonin is a pretty common cause of depressive behavior or acting out with our clients with DS also.

Right now at this stage of life, MA is totally focused on what she wants to do only. This is pretty common as people with DS slow down and get older. Often others think this is a "behavior". MA now likes to do new things like hoarding and is unable to pick up after herself with the massive amounts of things she collects. If she goes into the living room to watch TV, she brings a huge stack of magazines, a bag of things, and a fist full of pens. She never did this when she was younger. She becomes easily frustrated when she can't carry everything, or if she has to leave something in her room. She also becomes agitated if she has to stop doing what she wants to do and transition to eating or bathing. We don't take this personally, but there is lots of fist swinging at us, door slamming, screaming and tantrums. This is totally not her character. But the alzheimers has changed her completely. Oh- how we wish we could turn back time. Recently a Dr told me 62 was the average length of life now for a person with DS. MA is almost 55. The time just goes too fast. No need to waste it on skills that are only used during school years.

Anyhow, just my humble opinion. :o) God is the expert and I pray with all my heart and all my soul that I am listening and hearing His lead, not mine!

(((HUGS))) :o)

2011-10-25T13:09:00.000-07:00

******

Dad tried a new pose here. LtoR is Samson(16) Faith(10 going on 20) Pauly (4) held by Isaiah (7) Katherine (8) Elizabeth (9) Gabriel (16) and Julius (4)

Pauly is avoiding eye contact with Dad- he's stressed. Julius is thinking Gabe better not put him down! LOL!

Because we run a group home, our time away from the house is limited. So everyday after SP leaves for work around 1:30 p.m. and MA comes home around 2:30 p.m., I run to the store. For the last 3 days we have been looking for sleepers and one piece rompers in size 3T for the boys. This is a little big, but 2T is too small. I had looked online first but could not find any good buys. The selection online was incredibly poor too.

Thirty years ago I used to make sleepers, now I barely have time to make fleece pj pants, which take less than a half hour! :o) The boys need one piece outfits because they dig in their diapers! In Bu*lg*aria they wore girls overalls!

I went to Target on Sat. and found 3 sleepers, I went to Walmart on Sunday and found "1" sleeper! ugh! And last night I went to Kohls- but even their sale prices were high! and then I stopped at JCPenneys. At JC I found quite a few things on sale!! When I went to pay I was told if I used my JCP card I could get 20% more off! (the card is in Tom's name, so I had to apply for one!!) I told the young sales woman (early 20s) that that would be great to save more $$ because the clothes were for 2 little boys we adopted from B*ulga*ria! She was so excited to hear that! She told me she always wanted to adopt- after she gets married first and maybe after she has birth children, but she LOVED the thought of adopting some day! It was so sweet, she was so excited. I had hoped and prayed that I encouraged her more by talking about our experiences! :o) I remember how excited I was when I first wanted to foster or adopt and my family thought it was the dumbest idea I had ever come up with. I would have loved some encouragement from anyone!!

Way back then (29 yrs ago) the County and a very well seasoned award winning Foster mom; both worked hard to talk us out of adopting our Andy. They wanted him in a group home- not a family. I'm so glad we didn't listen!! It was HARD. Andy was the hardest child we ever raised. But it was worth it. The funny thing was 10 years later we too won the same award that that same foster mom had won, she won Foster mom of the year for the State of MN. We won Adult Foster family of the year for the state of MN. Please I am in no way bragging here, just thinking about how Vi tried to talk us out of adopting Andy and we try to talk others INTO adoption! :o) We are the only 2 in the state from our County to win this. I don't like awards much, because after "they" build you up............you have no where to go but down. LOL! Ouch! ;o) It's safer on the ground!

Later when I came home, there in the mail was a coupon for Carters and Oshkoshbgosh online! So I was able to get 25% more off of the sale prices and buy a few more sleepers!! We are all snuggly now!!

Thank You Lord!! :o)

(((HUGS))) to all!

same day-different pose- LOL!

2011-10-24T11:57:00.000-07:00

Oh boy!! Pauly is still flapping- he wants to go inside!!

Gabe (((HUG)))

Samson was sick, believe it or not- he got over it fast!!

Lysa and Kitty the silly sisters still hanging on to Julius who is incredibly strong and wirey, good for escaping.

Lady bugs are after Isaiah's head! LOL!

It was in the 80s this day and we were sweating-with fevers. Oh- my poor Gabe! (((HUG)))

By the way, I hate to brag, but Gabriel is very handsome even when he's not feeling well. Wasn't it just yesterday we were in a Chicago hospital with him near death because he couldn't breathe? He had severe chronic asthma. We wondered if he'd live until we got home! I have loved every day of having him in my life as my son.

All my children

2011-10-23T10:11:00.000-07:00

Pauly (middle) is doing a full blown autistic flapping- with stiff legs- spitting episode.

Poor Gabe, so sick. :o(

Julius (front) still looking to escape! Hang on Lysa!!

Isaiah looking pretty darn handsome for not feeling well.

Julius & Pauly have been home 2 months. TWO months! Time has flown.

If you look at their pictures on the side bar here, from March. You see two very different looking boys. The picture of Pauly is from when the orphanage staff were shocked to see that Tom made him laugh. They said he was very serious. (I'd say un-responsive and autistic)

Yes we cut their hair. They had baby boy bowl cuts, now they have little men cuts! Much easier for bathing. They are incredibly AFRAID of bathing. It hurts your heart to see them go into a blank stare of shock and fear from going into the water to bathe. Julius is fascinated with water, but not with getting into it. Pauly who normally is oblivious to what is happening to him, watches the water in terror as I dry him. Julius won't even look back at the water once removed from it. Once clean they smell amazing and cuddle so sweetly.

The biggest difference to us is how seamlessly we have transitioned them into our family. And how in their own limited way they have responded back to us. Yes they still have orphanage "behaviors", but they are familiar to us now, not surprises anymore. Dare I say we are used to the behaviors! LOL!

Julius still looks at me like I am the "mean orphanage lady". When Dad is around he is all smiles and giggles. Julius is very bright and realizes that I am the disciplinarian. Dad allows things mom doesn't! LOL! I don't take it personally. The women in his life have never been a mom, he has no clue what a mom is. I model mom behavior with the other kids in front of him. He has not been around men that we saw, Dad is a fun novelty right now. He doesn't trust me. If I put him in time out- he remembers!! He's a thinker! I can't wait to see what he will learn to do, because he thinks about everything he sees us do! He's very curious! Julius is a beautiful little boy. He does not photograph nearly as cute as he is. He doesn't pose, he thinks! Silly boy! His DS features are not very prominent. He has the most beautiful brown eyes and hair. His skin is the beautiful tan color of many Bu*lgarians. He must have been favored for being so cute. He will at times try to "work it" with us. He can work it with the kids and gets away with alot! He tries to make faces at us, as if to say "I'm not naughty! I'm cute!". He has a kind of "orphanage smarts". He has a very fast metabolism from his thyroid, so he's slim compared to Pauly.

Pauly LOVES me! LOL!! He actually crawls towards me instead of away from me! Pauly is very forgiving. He loves me to snuggle his neck and tickle him. He is very sensitive to touch. The only problem is if you can't continually touch him, he reverts to his autistic stiff behaviors right away. But if you need his attention you can draw him out by hugging and snuggling him. He looks at me deeply, with wide eyes as if to say "Who are you! I love you! I have been waiting my whole life for you!" He is lower functioning and has an innocence that Julius does not have. Pauly is very touchy feely, he likes to feel his emotions, he doesn't think much about what is going on. :o) Observing things overwhelms him. Pauly has the most beautiful blue eyes!! And the fairest blonde hair that is dishwater blonde when short. Pauly has all of the wonderful DS features that we love X 10!!! Every cute adorable feature that comes from having DS, Pauly has. He has the cutest softest rolly polly little body for snuggling. He has the sweetest face with DS features that make you want to kiss those cheeks and hold that sweet face in your hands. He is the picture of DS cuteness multiplied!! We love that about him. We think he should be a model!! Every so often we catch a beautiful picture of him!

We can no longer remember what life was like here before OUR boys! We don't want to remember what it was like before our boys! We have been blessed beyond belief! We can not wait until Noah, Moses and Jacob are home to add to the fun! We can not wait to see who the "real" Noah, Moses and Jacob are! Not the boys from the orphanage- but OUR boys! The Archer boys!

Thank You God!!

(((HUGS))) to you and thank you for stopping by to read about our blessings! We pray it inspires you to bring home your little boy too!

2011-10-22T09:27:00.000-07:00

LOL!! The gang ;O)

back LtoR

Samson here is giving orders! (yes he's 16, he has a heart condition that is not repairable, thus his short stature) Gabriel (16) sick with mono, is holding Pauly's (4) arms down so Pauly won't slap his own face, Pauly is not happy about this. Faith (10) thinks this is an opportunity to model! Oh-my! Poor Faith was having a not so good hair day. But we love her so much she never noticed!

Front row LtoR Isaiah (7) bored and sick, Kitty (8) bored, Lysa (9) trying to restrain Julius (4) who is whining to go back into the trailer.

It is humorous that Isaiah is my only birth baby of the bunch. Ever since he was born he has been our only birthchild at home. Our other birth kids were 28,25,and 22 when he was born. Up north when we weren't feeling well Isaiah was getting on my nerves as only little boys know how to do! So I told him that I was going to have another baby in my tummy now-another boy, and I would name John. And John would listen to mom and behave! LOL!! Now mind you, only a couple of years ago Isaiah wanted me to have another baby in my tummy. Since we both almost died when I carried and gave birth to Isaiah at 47, I thought adopting sounded like a better plan! :o) But on this day now that he was bugging me and just not himself feeling so sick, I thought I'd tease him.

Isaiah was not happy about my idea at all. He informed me that I am now too old to have a baby in my tummy, and that he is my last baby in my tummy, and he will always be my one and only SURPRISE!! baby! He was just too cute telling me this! I thank God for him in my life everyday- even when he gets on my nerves!

Now that we have Julius & Pauly home Isaiah does not feel the need for mom to have a baby anymore! LOL!!

the ups and downs of anticipation

2011-10-21T08:36:00.000-07:00

This is what the kids do when they are getting sick of Dad making them pose for tooooooooooooooooo many pictures! LOL!

Pauly (in the middle) is actually intrigued by it. He's looking to Dad as if to say "Pick me up?" Julius in front is afraid of the ground and worried the kids might set him down there. They do not like being outside! The kids are wearing their finest camping clothes! LOL! We leave old clothes up there, just for wearing in the dirt-trees-woods! These clothes have been worn by all of our kids! Our 35 yr old wore some of these things! Julius & Pauly are in their Hanna Anderssen one piece jammies since they hate the outdoors!

Last night I got an email that JS does not want to move to our area. So she has chosen to stay in the Mpls area. We were sad, BUT!!! Now we are FULL speed ahead with our Dossier! Our I800A is going into the mail to our agency TODAY! They will get it on Monday. We are waiting on one reference letter for our homestudy to be completed.............ugh. And then things could be sent to Immigration next week!! YAHOOO!!

I told the agency that wants to place a new client with us that we really need to get 3 little boys home FIRST!! I can't worry about the money. We need to JUST DO IT!!

WE ARE COMING BOYS!!! :o)

Praising God!!

Another set back~

2011-10-20T11:06:00.001-07:00

The only photos we took on the computer compatible camera, were group photos the last day, because we were so sick. I used a disposable camera- but I lost it. :o(

Back row LtoR is Samson (16) Gabriel (sick with mono-16) Faith posing as a model!(10)

In the middle, on the table, is Pauly (4) doing a very "stiff" avoidance sit and stare.

Front row LtoR is Isaiah (sick age 7) Kitty (8) Julius (also sick,4) and Lysa (9)

All of the leaves were off of the trees. But that day Oct. 5, it was 84 degrees out. We felt worse than ever in the heat!

We have been offered a 51 yr old woman to move into our group home named JS. We have accepted her but now need to see if the County will approve the move.....UGH! If she can move in, we need to update our homestudy and I800A. We were so close to sending it all in to Immigration. It makes me sad. But we do need the work to help pay our HUGE adoption debts from Julius & Pauly. We can't refuse a new client when we are so deep in debt, and surgeries coming up with big co-pays!

(((HUGS))) to all!

Down Syndrome

2011-10-06T19:45:00.000-07:00

I had contacted Dr. Brian Chicoine many years ago when our Susie was dying. A professor at the U of MN recommended him. He is a national leader in the knowledge of and healthcare for children and adults with DS. He is in IL. Here are 2 books I would not live without.

Mental Wellness in Adults with Down Syndrome
A Guide to Emotional and Behavioral Strengths and Challenges
Dennis McGuire, Ph.D. & Brian Chicoine, M.D

go here to see more!

http://www.woodbinehouse.com/main.asp_Q_product_id_E_1-890627-65-8_A_.asp

* * * * * * * * * *
The Guide to Good Health for Teens & Adults with Down Syndrome
Brian Chicoine, M.D. & Dennis McGuire, Ph.D.

go here to see more!

http://www.woodbinehouse.com/main.asp_Q_product_id_E_978-1-890627-89-8_A_.asp
* * * * * * * * *

These 2 books are worth their weight in GOLD!!

I hope you enjoy them as much as I do. We did not have them as Susie was dying. In the back of the book (Mental Wellness) there is a great list of suggested drugs and their usefulness. We noticed by comparison, that throughout Susie's end of life care, we were very closely on target to the recommended medications!

I've worked with kids & adults with DS since 1983. You can never know everything! I have learned alot from Dr. Chicoine!

(((HUGS)))
Eliz, Samson, Julius, Paul & MA

Samson the teenager

2011-10-05T22:30:00.000-07:00

I love how independent Samson is. He turned 16 in August and he is just a joy. I love that he is my son! I hope someday we can find his precious birthmother and we always pray that she is living a better life. Samson won't know who she is, but I think she'd be so happy to see how he is doing. She was only 15 when he was born.

Samson helps out alot. So no one is ever surprised by what he can do. One day his sister Grace stopped by and he had her convinced that uses the microwave! LOL! He wasn't being truthful! He can't do that alone, he still mixes up his numbers! :o)

When he's angry about being corrected or disciplined, he can pout for hours- even days!! But if either sister- Hope or Grace stop by, he comes quickly to give me an apology and then runs to them yelling their name and giving them a HUGE hug!! He loves his sisters! If his brother Matthew stops by, he stays in his bed pouting!! LOL!!

He loves all sports. He knows our teams! Up north he plays football, throws the baseball and plays a mean tetherball. However he plays all sports with his own rules! Our 7 yr old Isaiah finds it fascinating that Samson will make the rules so he wins! Isaiah tells me this as if I hadn't noticed!! Mostly Samson likes to play sports alone and we are supposed to watch him! He loves his sports so much that if Dad throws him a diaper to toss in the trash, Samson yells "FOOTBALL!" LOL!!

Tonight Samson wanted Dad to "see" that he was playing tetherball. He kept looking for Dad to come into his view. So I called Tom and told him he should play a game of tetherball with Samson. At first Samson just wanted to show Dad how he can hold the rope (illegal) and swing the ball. Then he wants to show Tom that he can hit the ball in Tom's direction too and still win! LOL! When in fact he helped Tom win! Eventually Samson follows the rules of the game with Dad, but he's not as tall, so Tom teases him saying "I win!" Samson then decides that he wins everytime he catches the ball and holds it from Tom. (also illegal) And he doesn't argue with you about winning! He just tells you he won!

Samson is a wonderful role model for Julius and Pauly. He calls them "babies"! He says "Hi! Babbies" or "Hi! Boys!" to them! He likes having Julius and Isaiah in his bedroom. He's not alone anymore! He loves being a big brother!

God bless you!! Thank you!!/ routines

2011-10-02T21:24:00.000-07:00

Today we received another wonderful donation for our boys Noah-Moses and Jacob!!! (on our Family Support Page)

Thank You!!! God bless you!!!

It is a huge thing we never ever take for granted! We know how heart felt the donations and prayers for our boys are! We are humbled!

Thank You!! So much!!! (((HUG)))
*******************************
This is our last week up north and today we realized something! Julius & Pauly do NOT like their routines changed at all!! I imagine the orphanage was run on a tight schedule.

Every morning when we wake the boys up, Pauly wakes up slowly, Julius wakes up quickly ready for the day. They look for Dad.
Tom takes one boy at a time out to the bunkhouse and changes his diaper and feeds him. Then he brings him back and gets the next boy. The boys love this, and it frees me up to feed everyone else. But sometimes Dad has to do something else. So I feed them instead. And they are not happy about it at all. They eat like they "don't know how" and they are upset! Very passive aggressive behavior! They want to know who will feed them and when. They like a strict routine! And they don't like it changed!

Most mornings the boys like to eat a little milk and yogurt, they aren't big morning eaters. They do not like cereal of any kind- or eggs-or pancakes. At lunch they like oatmeal with a variety of cooked things chopped into small swallowable bits. Veggies, soft fruits- mixed in. At dinner they like noodles or bread with meat and butter, drizzled with homemade soup broth. The broth makes the bread very soft. They hate rice and firm bread, cheese and brown sugar, crackers. They don't chew and they don't suck- they swallow! When we get home we are going to try those toddler cookies and "first" eater things. We want them to learn eat on their own. To tell us what they'd like to eat! ;o) Rather than just swallowing or spitting out what we feed them!

Our Samson did chew, he was 3 when he joined our family. but he chewed bites too big. And if he didn't want to eat something he let it conveniently "fall" from his mouth. But he liked all foods! We made a sign that said "Please don't feed the bear" because he opened his mouth for anything!! :o)

The boys are very particular about toys too. Julius loves his magnetic drawing board. He likes to "draw"! He also likes a toy that lights up with stars and plays music. He wears out battery after battery with that toy as it plays over and over! Pauly likes his soft toy- Mr. Caterpillar/Worm. We have him sleep with it, then he can chew on Mr Worm instead of drooling and chewing his hands. He also likes his soft pastel Mickey mouse and a soft giraffe. He will chew or drool on his colorful teething ring too. Both boys tend to "manipulate" their toys rather than play with them. We show them how to play each day and it kind of goes over their head! Before this they weren't interested in anything. I think they should hopefully imitate us soon.

The boys are with us all day, even while sleeping and napping. This way they don't get overstimulated by having to do things with us. They can just watch us. We've noticed each day they open up a little more, they try new things just by spending so much time with us. The only difficulty we have is when their routines are changed! Then they regress and ignore us! They become introverted again. Mornings usually refresh them and they "forget" they were upset. We have to make a more conscious effort to change their routine more often in small ways. We don't want them to become dependent on it. Routines-life, things change. They need to learn this too! :o)

Sometimes it's overwhelming how much they don't know, and overwhelming that they can't tell us or show us what they do know.

They sure are sweet though!

"So how are your boys adjusting?"

2011-10-01T02:26:00.000-07:00

This was the question the Stearns County licensor asked me when I told her we were doing great, and that JC should be allowed to move into our group home.

The licensor was rude, blunt and secretly wishing that she could tell me, she already knew that JC would not be allowed to move in with us.

She's a new licensor, previously from the Juvenile Justice System. UGH. Maybe lots of adoptive parents "failed" their kids in her old line of work. I say that very sarcastically. Adoption and adoptive parents get blamed for lots of dumb things. The old licensor our County had has retired. I had a relationship with the old licensor. She knew me. The new one "thinks" she knows everything about everyone.

I explained to the new licensor that we had worked 15 long months preparing for our boys to come home. We knew what we were headed for. We were excited after the long wait, to say the least. We knew it wouldn't be easy, but nothing worthwhile is ever easy. And yet to our great surprise- it was easy! And it was/is fun!

When people ask you this question enough times, doubts enter your mind. You begin to wonder, how are we doing? How should we be doing? Why has it been so easy? So much fun? Are we crazy? Or are we lying to ourselves?

When Tom walked through the door with the boys on August 20, I was worried. People said "Wow! You are going to be so buuuuuuusy!" I feared they may be right. Maybe I was going to be completely overwhelmed with 2 new boys? Then what was I going to do? My confidence faded.

The boys fit into our family like a warm snuggly blankie in winter. We never looked back. They were born to join our family. It was love.

Now we continue to have many doubters. Doubters who do not know it yet, but will find out soon. Like the Licensor and the rest of the County, that 3 more precious boys are coming. We committed to them last December, before we even met Julius & Paul in person. That was how sure we were that it was meant to be. They can stop JC from moving in- but they can't stop 3 more little love bugs from being adopted by our family.

We now know from experience (no more doubts here) that these 3 love bugs will also transition smoothly into our home. We have seen their new photos from August and they are even cuter than before- if that's possible. We know that as long as we keep all of our little boys fed and loved and safe. They adjust amazingly well. Whether the well educated Social workers at the County believe us or not. We know first hand. Why won't the licensor come to our house and see this for themselves? Because they don't really care. They just like to remind us that they are the professionals and we need their help and guidance....not.

We've already experienced success adopting 13 children, with none in the justice system, thank you.

Now why won't they believe us?

JC is not moving in

2011-09-29T16:40:00.000-07:00

We fought the good fight. We lost.

The good news is we found out information that we really needed to know, but had not been told. JC has a behavior that would have very negatively affected our SP who has lived with us 22 years.

SP has Schizophrenia. She is very challenging to live with. People often ask how we do it. :o) Lord willing we do, with His strength. We love her unconditionally. We don't take her behaviors personally. But JC is a man who has a behavior that would cause great tension between him and SP. This could cause him to become aggressive towards Tom and I. (his past has proven this) His behavior would then cause SP to put herself in harms way. She is "drawn" to danger. We can handle lots of behaviors, but acting out aggressively towards us would be too much. SP inviting abuse to happen to herself cannot happen. We found out just in time.

Our County Officially denied his placement today because they felt that our children were most vulnerable to his behavior.

Honestly our children would not have been around JC. Our living area is far from where his room would be.(upstairs) They might see JC at a distance but I can't see them seeking to be with him. Or having a relationship with him. He wants a relationship with a woman. He also prefers solitude. We knew the children would be protected and watched by us. We didn't know about this behavior, when we did we realized that for SP it would be devastating. God was watching over us.

We are sad. We really needed the money to pay for 2 little boy's surgeries and our new adoption. God will show us another way to figure this out. Our budget is so very very tight. We don't "need" anything. We are beyond blessed. Even with the thought of JC moving in we didn't loosen up our strict saving for the adoption!! :o)

We just need help paying for the last 3 boys to come home.
Please pray with us as we find the funds!
Thank You!!
((((HUGS))) my precious brothers and sisters in Christ!

Control

2011-09-29T06:18:00.000-07:00

October 8th we pack up everything. Time to push in the 5th wheel slider. Set out the mouse traps- about 30. Throw around the stinky lavender moth ball sachets that mice hate. And go home with about 20 loads of end of the year laundry!

Julius & Pauly don't know yet what home is. They had left their only home, the orphanage, for 5 days in a hotel with Dad and Gabe. They never had a Dad or brother before. Then they left their Country of birth for a 30 hour trip "home", to a foreign land, a new Country. After being "home" only 2 weeks, they left to go up north on vacation. After 5 weeks on vacation they will once again return "home". The only constant these 2 months for them has been the people- their family- us. I can't begin to imagine how confusing this has been for them. Today I realized- they want some control. I know I'm slow!

I think some of their odd behaviors like- enjoying a meal but then hating it a few days later is just one of their many attempts at wanting some control. Things like pushing us away. Not responding to affection. I wasn't thinking of "control" issues with these 2 pumpkins because they are so young and their behaviors are so immature. But I know even babies like control! I vividly remember when we adopted Andy at 7 1/2, control was a huge issue. It was how he tried to make sense out of everyone telling him what to do. Same with Molly at 5 1/2, she too wanted control. Control can be a means of survival for children.

Recently the boys have decided to control when they sleep. They like staying up late- 12 a.m. to 1 a.m. They like to sleep in- till close to lunch. They don't want to take a nap till 5 p.m. instead of 1 p.m. after lunch. These new times mess things up for the rest of us! But bless their little hearts they sure are giving it their best shot to control their sleep! LOL!

Pauly likes to control how much interaction he allows us to have with him. He tunes us out quickly. He isn't interested in more than a few minutes of attention. Quick short bursts, and he's done. The rest of the time he becomes introverted in his autistic type behaviors. Julius will allow lots of interaction. But he won't respond. We kiss him, hug him, he's fine with it all. But he does not acknowledge us or what we are doing.

Patience with the boys is hard sometimes, day after day the boys choose not to interact. Everything we do seems to be so strange to them. They choose not to mimic games and desired behavior we teach them. They choose not to put foods in their own mouths or make vocal sounds, or attempt to dress themselves. We remind ourselves that we are doing this without expecting results any time soon. Easier said than done! :o)
I hug and love on the rest of the kids in an exaggerated manner, to show the boys how we respond to each other and how much fun it is. They watch. They see. We hope eventually they will want to express this kind of affection with us too.

It's funny that as much as we try to keep our routine the same, so that they know what to expect- they are trying to change it!

beaten and battered

2011-09-27T21:38:00.000-07:00

Tonight I'm feeling beaten and battered.

I have a group home. I have run it for 24 years. Negotiations with the government never get easier. In fact they get harder. I jump thru their hoops constantly. It's part of the job. I'm licensed by the State and the County.

We all know the economy is bad. I asked for a raise 5 years ago for one of my gals. I was blessed, I got it. After 3 years of state budget cuts it is almost gone now. We have new budget cuts this year. They were to be started in July, but they were held off till September. The state government had shut down.

I get paid the month AFTER I provide the previous months service. So I will bill for September when I get home 10/8. That check will come by the end of October, depending on the billing cycle for that month. Room and board is paid by the County by the 15th of the month they are paying. What landlord would let you pay like that? Rent must be paid by the 1rst!

A week ago I received a letter stating that my pay may be cut "extra" if my gals are considered "low needs" clients. Low needs? Alzheimers and DS? Schizophrenia and developmentally disabled? No my women are high needs.

On Thursday Tom is getting the mail again from the last 2 weeks. I am dreading what our $$ cuts will be. I e-mailed the County workers, they did not respond. This stinks when we are on vacation. (Altho my mom says I never get a real vacation because I take our clients with us every where we go.) But the reality of the job never leaves, whether the women are with us or not, because that is the job, so the women are actually the fun part of everything- the State and County crud that continues while were gone just STINKS!

One year another group home provider told me- to just walk into the County and bring one of your gals (I had 3 then) that you don't mind losing and tell the County; if you don't get what you want, they can have her back. That was not an option for me- ever. I will suffer in silence before my clients ever have to suffer. There have also been budget cuts to my clients personal needs and medical care money. I now use my money to pay for these things, so their quality of life won't change. I don't feel like that makes me a better person. Just a responsible person.

So tonight as I read e-mails from the day I see that at the last minute, 14 days before JC moves in, from the County JC lives in, they want to play the "rate" game with me. They say his care is not any more difficult since his hospitalization and his last large corporate provider was paid less than what I am asking. Really??!! Then why won't his last provider take him back? Not because they want an empty bed. And every new provider requests more money than the last. It never goes down!!

None of these County/State workers live with our clients or anyone even like our clients. They just shuffle papers and dollars. They don't have a clue. And they never sympathize with the little guy. In fact there are very very few mom and pop group homes left. They don't care. I miss my friends who quit because the politics were too much. They provided excellent care.

Sometimes the bad guy wins. Sometimes life is incredibly unfair. I am not a fighter and I often ask the Lord to let me lay down, I just get so tired.

Tomorrow morning a battle I dread begins. Please pray for JC. To me this is not about us- but him. He has been lost in limbo without a home for 60 days, no fault of his own. Just politics. When did the Lord's people become politics?

So now we're getting to know each other!

2011-09-25T19:10:00.000-07:00

They boys are changing and letting their guard down. Showing us more and more who they are. :o)

Tonight Julius decided that he did not want to eat. Seriously? Little boys from orphanages refusing food? Healthy nutritious food? I understood when they did not like the taste of a meal (stuffing). But this was a rice dish they have eaten and loved twice before. So I convinced him to eat it. He was initially hungry, he saw his bowl and got excited for it. But 3 bites in- nope. He was going to "store" it in his mouth. He ate it slowly and reluctantly. Not alot, but just enough to hold a small underweight boy over till morning.

In the meantime I hadn't paid much attention- but Pauly was watching. It took zero bites for Pauly to decline his dinner. Next time they won't get to watch each other eat! LOL! Pauly too had shown great excitement at the thought of dinner....waiting till Julius was done. Silly boys. Pauly did eat more than Julius.

When they first came home they were hungry!! I guess 5 days in a hotel with Gabe and Dad's limited cooking would make anyone hungry! And poor orphanages with bland repetitive diets, would make big bowls heaping with tasty ingredients look wonderful. We do try to make things as appetizing as possible- even up north. We're blessed with really good eaters with our youngest 4 kids ages 7,8,9 and 10. They even enjoy cold chicken after a day in the woods!(two of our oldest 4 now in their 30s were the pickiest eaters we ever had!)

I remember when we first got up here to the lake September 2. Pauly had whined the whole 2 hour drive, and then continued on 2 hours more as we unpacked. I thought- what if I just told him to stop it?? So I did.....and he stopped!! I realized little boys can be naughty, no matter what environment they come from. Most times after that I could tell if Pauly was really sad or just being crabby! Not to minimize his sadness- Pauly mourned B*ul*garia long and hard. He can still have his moments. He really had a difficult time with his loss. Julius did too. But Julius worked hard to adjust. Julius is just more passive aggressive when he wants his way. We are always surprised by how totally different their personalities are!! Two very different little boys from the same place!

Thank You!! and boy's update :o) plus a prayer request!

2011-09-24T22:01:00.000-07:00

We have a new donation on our Family Support Page!
Thank You so much!! ((((((BIG HUG))))))

We found out that our boys hate one of my one pot meals. It's a stove top stuffing dish. :o( They gagged,spit, and drooled it everywhere. But they didn't swallow it!! Aaaack!! Tom had brought us clean clothes and now I was covered in bits of dinner!! My recipe is Stuffing mix and add frozen corn (cooked), broth (homemade with garlic and onion) lots of butter and lots of finely chopped chicken that was slow cooked in garlic in the crockpot. I hate pre-made mixes, but after adding all of the extras it really is delicious! Two little boys from Bu*lga*ria strongly disagreed!!
They went to bed hungry because after that they wouldn't open their mouths for anything I offered????!!!!

Today the boys were all smiles and happiness. They didn't act hungry, but ate well all day. They ate lots of tuna noodles in white sauce.

Both boys have cold air asthma coughs up here in the cold fall northern woods. Day temps are 50s, night temps upper 30s. After nap we tried giving the boys wagon rides. Isaiah (7) held them on his lap. Paul first. Paul let out a wail and scowled. We didn't make him continue. Once in the trailer he wanted back in his playpen. He felt afraid. His autistic hand flapping comforted him. Poor baby. Julius went next. He looked worried, but he trusted Isaiah. Isaiah told me that Julius was looking at how pretty everything was and that Julius looked at the lake. I agreed. But I'm afraid in all honesty, Julius was overwhelmed by everything he saw. It was all unfamiliar and he has no words. He accepted the wagon ride for us. To be with us. Sweet baby boy.

We notice that both boys are beginning to understand us better each day. I move Paul once in a while to discourage him from making spit puddles. He tries to tune me out when I call his name and move towards him. Later he moves back to make another spit puddle, this time I point for him to move back to where I'm pointing. He half heartedly does! WOW!!

Please pray for my husband's heart. The Lord has placed something heavy on his heart, I think that it is something that Tom needs to follow God's lead on. But I don't know- it's between Tom and God. :o) This is new for Tom. Tom likes to be in control (who doesn't- wink). If he thinks he can't be in control he worries. I'm happy to see God working on Tom's heart. He doesn't want to talk about it with me right now. So I am watching and waiting. Please pray that Tom believes that God can do this thing through him. :o)

Thank You!! (((HUGS))) and prayers to you too! :o)

They sure eat alot! LOL! But no sugar please!

2011-09-22T23:01:00.000-07:00

Cooking up north in the 5th wheel is always more challenging. I make alot of combo-dishes. Tuna, noodle with veggie of choice, all in one pot. Rice, beans, salsa with cheese and sour cream, all in one bowl. So no separate servings of veggies-rice etc. Everything cooked in one big pot. We also gave up our PB & J sandwiches a few years ago for soup. You can throw everything but the kitchen sink in the crockpot for a great hot tasty soup!

The 5th wheel is our 2nd RV, the first was a trailer- 35' long. The 5th wheel is 29' but has a slide out. I like the higher ceiling of the 5th wheel. No matter how big the trailer, counter, table space is always small. 200' from our 5th wheel we plug the crock pot in our 24 X 24' garage. That garage has a freezer, refrigerator, dryer and a stove. I cook mostly in the 5th wheel with a hot plate and a big toaster oven. Our bunk house 12'X 24' is next to the 5th wheel. All of the room in there is for eating and sleeping, no room to cook.

For dinner, Paul & Julius eat huge bowls of the main meal. These boys can eat!! LOL!! I'm afraid that they are going to double in size soon!! Tom did not even believe me when I showed him how much they eat at dinner!

Julius needs to work on tongue thrusting as he eats. Each bite, he thrusts his tongue out and "tongues" the food before swallowing. I tap his tongue to remind him to pull it in. It's not easy for him to feel comfortable holding his tongue in and accepting a bite. But it's coming! He can hold his tongue in nicely for long periods of time. He mouth breathes, but not as much as our Samson. He has a tiny mouth, and quite a small head. Makes us wonder about FAS.

Pauly likes to store the food in his mouth as you feed him. I put a spoonful in, he waits, I put another in, he waits, I put a 3rd in - he swallows!! You can't see that his mouth is "full", he has a good sized mouth!! Then he may swallow it all, or swallow half of it, spitting the other half back out. Samson ate similar to this! So I know this game!! I beat him at it by waiting longer between bites. Or I hold the spoon ready to help half the food stay in for the next swallow. :o) If Pauly is hungry but doesn't like the food much, he drooools. The food goes in- the drooool comes out! LOL! UGH!! Pauly likes to stick his tongue way out and lick the tip of his nose, swirl it around and lick his chin. I've seen other kids with DS do this (and some adults). He needs to learn to control the amount of drool coming off of his tongue when he does this. Hopefully it is a developmental thing he'll quit doing as he grows. I don't think anyone cared how he looked doing these things at the orphanage.

For special occasions up here we make chocolate chip cookie bar cakes- or small GT Express (the info-mercial appliance!) cakes. Everyone loves them. We don't have much storage space so small cakes eaten quickly or 9 X 9 cookie bars will not need storage! We made cookie bars for Pauly's Happy birthday!!

Everyone loved them except- Pauly and Julius. This was the first time we ever saw either one hold a food- frosting- on the tip of their tongue and try to spit it out!! The crunchier cookie bar part made them gag!! They held these bites in their mouths until I took a paper towel and wiped them out for them. It was kind of sad. I am thrilled that they love fruits and veggies and real food. But sad that they think sweets are poison to their taste buds. I will have to make something like an apple sauce (homemade) for them. Our youngest 4 children can't begin to understand how deprived the boys have been. It makes no sense to them. It makes no sense to us.

I love how tickly Pauly is. Now when I take my hands and gently caress his head at bed time, he laughs at the slightest touch. Such a tickly little boy! It reminds me that no matter what disability a boy has, or where he has lived the last 3 years and 11 months. He still has heart of a little boy who loves the tickly tender touch of his momma.

Each day both boys let us touch them more and longer. We can't wait until they touch us first!! Julius has reached out to caress two of his sister's hair. It was so sweet!

(((HUGS))) my precious friends!

bad blogger!! My love MA = DS and alzheimers

2011-09-22T21:26:00.000-07:00

Yes!! Bad blogger is keeping my side bar "fallen" to the bottom of this page!! UGH!!

This is a picture from last year when we were also up north for 5 weeks. We always take a picture of the kids at the end of summer up here. It's kind of like a yearly first day of school picture.
As we were getting the kids ready to take the picture,(waiting for the teenagers) MA slipped in here. I made her that sweatshirt- it says "Camping Woman". :o) She was/has always been our best camper. She used to take great pride in being a co-owner of our lake property. You see her payments to the group home help pay for the property. We told her this, she has supported our kids, our adoptions. We OWE her! She told her family and others that she had lake property. They poo-pooed her, but it was true! She doesn't understand those kinds of things anymore. I try not to think of the day when she won't be able to come up here with us anymore. We still OWE her, we tell her that often.

MA has DS and alzheimers.
I've written about it before. But I wanted to update everyone. It's more noticeable each year. Before the alzheimers, MA was like a 2nd mother to our kids!
I hate alzheimers. It steals the person you loved and gives you a new person to love. Things you took for granted change. I don't know how long it took MA to be potty trained but by 49, she was no longer able to hold it. Tonight at dinner there was a flood under her chair. She lost control. At the dinner table in the bunkhouse. No running water here, and bag already full of wet pants from today ready for the laundromat first thing tomorrow. Depends and adult diapers just can't hold it all. Why oh why don't they make something that will!! We make changing her wet pants so much fun that she doesn't even notice that the mess is everywhere. On her slippers now. She feels no shame- bless her precious heart. She just smiles, tells us "good dinner" and chattering on her way to the outhouse to change. Once out of the outhouse she tells me "Goodnight" and how much she loves me. No, it's not bedtime, but we spoil her now, we let her (within reason) do only what she wants. Sometimes spoiling her backfires. If she does something naughty- she adamantly blames everyone but herself! This is not my MA who used to have 2 part time jobs, live in her own apartment for 6 years and call me on the telephone when she needed me to come over.

You work so hard to teach them independence, politically correct behavior, math, reading, social skills. Only to see it all end. For our Susie it ended at 38. For MA it is going much slower, but too fast. I planned on growing old with Susie (a year younger than me) and MA (the same age as me). I know- life is what happens when we've made other plans. I thought we'd hobble around together. :o)

After 24 years of teaching independent living skills to adults with disabilities, I now provide end of life care for adults with disabilities. It started with Susie who died in '04 and then our daughter Molly in 2010. We've come full circle- Tom, me, MA and SP and now JC. Health wise Tom- the oldest of us- is the healthiest of the 5 of us. Poor guy! LOL!!

My MA no longer remembers what size clothes she wears. How to play cards. What day it is. Or when she last ate. She is choking on her food more frequently, aspirating things. Some days she's filled with joy and happiness. Some days she is angry and you can't reason with her.
But no matter what I thank God for having her in my life for 24 years. I hope I will be with her until the end, Lord willing. She has blessed my life incredibly, I can honestly say she loves me as much as I love her. In the early 90's I called her my "best friend". I didn't mean exclusively, I meant she was/is a best friend to me. Social workers were not happy, they poo-pooed that a "client" with a disability could be a best friend. They were wrong. She is my confidant, my best buddy (as she calls me) and my best friend. She is a gift from God.

reality, and Pauly's birthday TODAY!! 9/20

2011-09-20T22:03:00.000-07:00

Tonight reality set in.

Our boys, our 2 precious pumpkins are really home. Two little boys from Pe*rnik Bul*g*aria. I am their mom. They are MY sons.

After months and months of jumping thru paper hoops and waiting. They almost seemed un-real.

Now they are home. They are very real!

They are no longer learning how to survive in an orphanage. They are learning how to be loved and cherished by their very own family.

Oh how I wish we could bring home 2 more boys I saw in P*le*van, one is here- http://reecesrainbow.org/tony-11-11
and the other one is the boy we thought was our Noah. But he was a different boy. A boy so sweet our heart aches for him. Just as our heart aches for Tony. We are going back for 3 more precious boys. But there are so many more.

When I feed Julius & Pauly I cry tears of happiness. I watch them sleep like angels and I cry for all of the little boys without homes. Reality has set in. Sometimes it's good and joyful, other times it's achingly bittersweet. We can't save all of the boys. We have saved Paul & Julius, we will save Noah-Moses and Jacob. But the others...........we can't look away. We have to remember them and somehow help them.

Some days knowing there are so many orphan boys is more than I can bear. I hug Julius & Pauly as tight as they'll let me, and kiss them. Two boys have a life and a family. People just don't understand. They won't look at the boys or think about them- they are too busy with what?

On a happier note Pauly turned 4 today! Our baby Joy with DS who died in 1988 would be 23 today. Another HAPPY but bittersweet day. So much Joy!! Pauly is the baby of our family. We celebrated low key as not to upset him, we sang Happy Birthday alot!! :o)

Lovely :o(

2011-09-19T22:24:00.000-07:00

My sidebar stuff just slid to the bottom of this page. UGH!!
Last time a few posts brought it back up. Or was it my imagination??

BLOGGER!!

2011-09-19T21:56:00.000-07:00

Are my sidebar gadgets gone now!! OH! POO!

Our home-Group Home

2011-09-19T20:25:00.000-07:00

I was trying to label the pictures but blogger kept changing the placement of the captions!- UGH!! Alot of people ask us about how BIG our house must be to have a Group Home. It is only 1,325 sq. ft. Not really that big.

Our Group Home is the main floor only- although the able bodied clients can use the basement laundry room/bathroom.

The main floor has a front porch entry way, 3 bedrooms, (two large enough for 2 clients, one small bedroom for 1 client) one full bathroom, a livingroom, a hallway, kitchen, dining room, pantry, craft room (small).

Our clients never go upstairs. That is our private area. Off of the hallway you can go upstairs or to the basement.

In the basement there is a 2nd refrigerator, a big freezer, my computer area, lots of stored things plus the laundry/bathroom.

Upstairs there are 4 bedrooms and a full bathroom. A small bedroom for Samson, Julius & Isaiah. A large front bedroom for Lysa, Faith & Kitty. Another large bedroom with just Gabe in it- it has 2 sets of bunk beds, for the new boys. The 4th bedroom is ours- it is 18' X 26', it has a huge closet, a baby crib for Pauly, TV, tables, sewing area and a back door with steps going down to the dog kennel.

Our back yard is small and we have a 2 car garage in the shape of a barn that needs to be replaced.

I give up! Every time I try to edit this it deletes a photo! AAAAAACK!!

I hope you get the idea, you don't need a huge home to have a large family and group home!! LOL!!

patience and kindness

2011-09-18T21:11:00.000-07:00

I'm not the most patient person in the world. But I really work at it I Cor. 13 = Love IS patient Love IS kind. I like to think I'm a kind person. Sometimes I think it's much easier to be kind than to be patient.

Many people think that I must be incredibly patient since I have so many children, and run a group home in my home. I know that I love what I do and am beyond blessed to do something I love. I hope and pray that as I age I grow in patience and kindness. The truth is my children and clients are much more patient and kind to me. I make sure I let them know how much I appreciate that.

I see that I, and now my younger children must be doing something right in the patience and kindness with our boys Julius & Paul. In only 4 weeks both boys have learned to respond in gentleness. Tonight as I kissed them and hugged them they accepted the physical contact with gentleness. When their brother and sisters reminded them to lay down for bed time- both boys were incredibly meek in their responses. No struggling to sit up or kick. Their guard was let down. They accepted our routine and they accepted our love and gentle corrections. Wow! Everything went so smoothly! It was a glimpse of hope for the future! Pauly even fell asleep before 11 p.m.! It was as if they were telling us that they like what we have been doing, even though they have struggled greatly to figure it out. The bonds between us grow stronger as these days get easier for all of us!

I wonder if the boy's hearts softened after I decided to treat them as my new babies rather than my little pre-schoolers. Accepting them where they are psychologically rather than where they "should" be. I wonder if they didn't feel pressured to be "good" or "nice". And in their grief of losing their only home and Country they just couldn't figure out how to behave.

They are watching, and they are learning.
Thank You! Your prayers have helped us all and touched our hearts in so many precious ways!
(((HUGS)))