Welcome!! Grab a cup of coffee and visit with us! We hope you enjoy our story! (((HUGS)))

Welcome!! Grab a cup of coffee and visit with us! We hope you enjoy our story! (((HUGS)))
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Sunday, June 16, 2013

You are not alone!

Often I read blogs of precious adoptive moms who are doing a fantastic job............................
                                    but struggling.

Just to let you know- my LOVE for the boys is great. But I struggle too.

Some days I struggle with-
this precious boy. Will he ever heal from 7 years of wounds that no one can imagine? Abuse that makes no sense. Will he ever hug me or call me mom, or even look to me as mom? Right now I fulfill all his basic needs. These basic needs mean everything to him, his survival had depended on being desperate to have those needs met for 7 years. If I hold the bowl with his food near him, he can't even look at me, all he can do is whimper for food. I can't use food as incentive for him to sign or talk to me, because he can't wait for the thing he was desperate for most- to be fed.
Will he ever realize that I'm not mean- I'm teaching him life skills that he desperately needs for his future. Some days it feels like there will never be enough time to catch up.
And this boy.........................
will he ever learn that being oppositional will make life harder for him, not easier. That doing nice things is more rewarding than asking for attention by doing the wrong thing. His fight or flight responses when he's in trouble are ever on the ready. I hoped he'd learn more trust. He melts in my arms, he's truly a mommas boy. (who refuses to say mamma unless I'm not in the room) LOL! He is signing mamma- only he signs it from his mouth not his chin- which does describe me well- I'm the one who makes the food! :o)
Out of all 5 boys he has the highest IQ. But then I've always said- IQ means nothing if you aren't willing to work your hardest at what you need to do.
Or this boy................
who is so far behind everybody at 8 years old. How do we catch up. How can he understand that eating is good. That we only feed him because we love him, and we promised him he'd never skip a meal. And we are the only ones who "expect" him to do great things as others treat him as a baby. Some days we wonder- what can we expect him to do in the future?
Or this boy..............
who fights eye contact and lives in his own little world. Only coming out to interact with us if we beg him. Calling his name over and over with LOVE in our voices. He smiles at us, and as quickly as he heard us he leaves us again. His favorite thing in the whole world is to be tickled- so we do! Every so often out of the blue he'll laugh so joyfully you wonder- is he happy- does he feel LOVED? He doesn't have a favorite person here. He'll walk to any stranger and then complain loudly because he really doesn't want to be with them. He knows who we are- he just doesn't know how to come back to us............:o(
Or this boy- who LOVES, soaks in lots of new information, and has a healthy curiosity. Will he bond to us? Will he ever talk? Or communicate to us? He LOVES everybody- even strangers. How do I tell him not to hug people we don't know, or tell the strangers not to hug him because he needs to bond with me? I don't, I let him soak up LOVE anywhere he chooses. I can't deprive him. Will he ever walk? Will he always seek to be totally dependent on others because that's all he knew?

Is it because there are 5 of them? That I often feel easily defeated by the tiny strides we make. Should we have adopted only one boy to concentrate on fully?
No I don't think so. Our purpose for adopting was to save lives.
But when I struggle these are very human/real things I think about.

They are tools satan uses to confuse me, and tear away at the LOVE we have for each boy. Sometimes I catch my struggles quickly and tell myself I'm thinking foolishly. Other times I don't catch these thoughts and I let them settle in my mind, seeping in slowly and stealing the JOY I know I have.

 
2Cor 10:5We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
 
Oh! Precious Lord help me to remember the verses that sustain our JOY! They are lifesavers!
Thank You Lord- for your LIVING Word!!
(((HUGS))) to all you Mommas! You are incredible!

6 comments:

  1. Thank you for this post. I know I always have God. Praise be to God! But I am learning slowly that I am not physically alone. I thought I was for years doing what we do. The love and fellowship is just not evident or around us in our lives much. I am happy raising our children. But some days feel so lonely and alone. Very few friends to encourage us. But since I started blogging and reading others blogs I know and see I am not alone! Most of the ones adopting as we do are Christians and have God. Most of us have a partner that is outstanding and we all work as a team. And most of us, I am finding, are so very encouraged by each other and the posative loving comments left by strangers who truly love us, pray for us and follow our blogs. Glory to God for you and your family and those others out there working hard daily and always. Following the call of God on your life. Blessings to you all. By the way....happy fathers day to your hubby! God be with you.

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  2. I love your honesty Elizabeth! So many moms and dads need that honesty to give them encouragement to keep trying.

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  3. Good post. Sometimes it is just good to know that you are not struggling alone -- that others have walked the same path.

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  4. Oh my friend, you speak the words in my heart!

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  5. Thank you so much for this post!!!! :) I love you all!!! Your boys are so big!! I can't wait until I have some after photos. We are still waiting for court and pick up dates! Blessings to your family...you are in my prayers.

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