Welcome!! Grab a cup of coffee and visit with us! We hope you enjoy our story! (((HUGS)))

Welcome!! Grab a cup of coffee and visit with us! We hope you enjoy our story! (((HUGS)))
CLICK ON THE BOYS PICTURE TO READ OUR FAMILY BLOG

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Nothing will stop God from LOVING us

L to R ~ Pauly (5) Moses (8) Noah (9) Jacob (8 in 3 days) Julius (5)

After Christmas these Holiday turtlenecks were only $5 each. I searched furiously for something cute that all 5 could wear for a group picture!

Busy days flew by quickly.

We just did not get time to put the boys together for a group photo until this morning!
Yesterday Noah was to have his big surgery.
His Dr called Thurs night to cancel.
It worked out well for us, because we received another 4" of snow all day Friday.
Bumper to bumper traffic, driving in the snow 75 miles one way to the Children's Hospital in a 15 passenger van is not fun.
Hopefully April 11th it will not snow- that is when he will have his surgery now.

So this morning we decided to go for it!
Take the pictures!
Jacob is not just crying here.
He is "bawling". He has little control over his emotions.
When he is angry he cries.
When he doesn't like who is holding him he cries.
If you hold him too long he cries.
If he doesn't want to change clothes, or his diaper, he cries.
When he bathes he cries.

You see Jacob wants to be left alone.
But he is far from alone! And being alone here is not an option!

Of course he can play by himself. He sleeps by himself if he doesn't sneak over to Noah's side of the bed. He can watch TV by himself, his favorite thing. He can ignore us, push us away.

But we're not going anywhere. :o) He's never alone!

We LOVE him too much to leave him alone.

Just as God will never leave us. Just as God will never stop loving us.
To show Jacob God's LOVE, we won't give up on him.
Jacob is only 8 years old. (in 3 days) He doesn't really know what's best for him.  :o)
 
But we do!

The other four boys tire easily and quickly from his crying. They don't understand why he cries. It wears on them.

Slowly they want to escape and get away from  it. Poor Julius does not know how to handle Jacob's tears. What a good boy Julius is, patiently allowing Jacob to lean on him.
Six months have flown by since Jacob, Noah and Moses came home.

Jacob needs more time.

I remember learning at an adoption training that if a child was neglected, say- 7 years, it could take half as long (3 1/2 years) to recover.

I have seen some kids recover quicker.

Our Noah is happy as a clam.
And if Mosie gets any happier here he'll explode! LOL!!

And some kids never recover.

We pray Jakie will recover. We pray we find a way to reach him. He often responds to Isaiah. He really loves having a big brother! That's a start!

Adults with disabilities who have behavior issues have harder lives. They wear down caregivers. They aren't able to fit into the community to work or volunteer. We will need to expose Jacob to lots of people so he can learn how to make friends. He needs to learn to trust. 
And so after these pictures we took a break.
And Jakie took a break from crying.

Later we finished taking pictures. Jacob was a little more cooperative and taking things in stride! Baby steps!

The only time I get discouraged when Jacob cries, is when I'm helping him dress, diaper or bathe. I wish he could know that I'm helping him. I wish he could know that if he stops crying we will finish quicker. He doesn't understand that he's pro-longing what he doesn't want by crying and pulling away.

Once we are done I can kiss him. He pushes me away. I'm fine with that. :o)
Still he's more relaxed physically because I'm not doing something to him. He's not crying- he's just letting me know that's enough! And he's free to do what he wants. Until we have to do it again! LOL!

4 comments:

  1. Thank you for reminding me that it takes time to overcome neglect. Lately, I have felt kind of down when I think about how little difference I see in Sophia since she arrived. She seems to be in another world most of the time -- just sitting and making strange noises and looking out into space. We can almost never engage her. It is like we aren't even here. You have helped to remind me that things take time and that two months is not really very long. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Even with Jacob crying, the photos of the boys are so cute! I love how Noah keeps smiling in each shot..no matter what goes on behind him! And little Mosie covering his ears is just adorable. I think with all the love you all have for Jacob, he will learn to laugh instead of cry! Reminds me of my favorite quote... "Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward."
    Kurt Vonnegut

    ReplyDelete
  3. What amazing pictures. Love seeing them all lined up together like that!!

    Prayers that Jacob learns crying isn't always necessary. He is similar to Peter I guess in that emotions are just out of his control.

    Blessings, Jennifer

    ReplyDelete
  4. Lovely picture. Hugs and kisses for noah and moses xx. You both look so well since i last seen u both xxx

    ReplyDelete

I love comments :o) so please be kind! (((HUG)))