Welcome!! Grab a cup of coffee and visit with us! We hope you enjoy our story! (((HUGS)))

Welcome!! Grab a cup of coffee and visit with us! We hope you enjoy our story! (((HUGS)))
CLICK ON THE BOYS PICTURE TO READ OUR FAMILY BLOG

Saturday, February 23, 2013

A very hard post to write

Tom and one of our adult daughters, have respectfully requested that I either take this blog private or shut it down.

I have been debating this since December.

I have prayed over this heavily. My heart is in my blogging.

But there are people God placed in our lives, who use what I say here as a sort of gossip. They add it to their already judgemental opinions. And it hurts Tom, our daughter, me, my mom, my friends and our older kids at home.

We know God uses ALL things for good. He can take the most hurtful situation, and He will make it into His Will ~ for His Good! God is LOVE! :o) He may give free will to those who choose to hurt us, but He Reigns Supreme! He has the Final Word! He is "The God of Angel Armies".http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOkImV2cJDg

He's doing that now.

Three weeks from now the last 3 boys will celebrate 6 months home!

We want to celebrate!

I think I can either set it up so only blog authors only can read? I'm thinking that means those with a blog also. Or going private- invite only. But I heard that you can only invite 100 people? That would be hard.

It will happen sometime next week. I'll post boy photos soon! :o)

Otherwise feel free to keep in touch with us at
tarcher30 at charter dot net

(((HUGS))) I'm really going to miss this forum.

 

47 comments:

  1. Yes, you can set it up so that only other blogger members can read it, but some of our 'trolls' set up fake blogger accounts, so that wouldn't keep them out. And you're correct that you can only allow 100 people when it's set to private. I've enjoyed following your blog and especially your adoption journeys, but you don't know me and I don't comment often so I'll understand if I don't make the cut <3 I'm sorry nasty people are taking away from something you love. They definitely seem to have gotten more vicious lately. We must be doing something right! In any case, hugs and prayers to you and yours. You have a beautiful family.

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    1. Thank You Katie! Your words are too kind! (((HUGS))) And yes, we must be doing something right!

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  2. I have really enjoyed reading about your family, and I would be very sorry to see you go. Do you think maybe you could just post updates every 3 months or so? I am sorry that some people have hurt your family with their gossip. I cannot understand how anyone could say anything mean after seeing how your children are thriving and happy. Sending prayers and happy thoughts your way!

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    1. Thank You Cherbos! If only I could restrain myself from posting so often! LOL!! :o) Thank You so much for your prayers! (((HUGS)))

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  3. Me too, I love reading your blog, you are a real inspiration. I will miss reading it if you go private.Hugs to those precious boys.

    Jo

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    1. Thank You Jo! I gave the boysies a BIG hug from you! They are so snuggly when they get hugs! Even Mosie with that poor "boogie" nose! LOL! He is so squishable! (((HUGS))) to you from us!

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  4. I am so sad to hear this as I love reading your blog. I usually read read it every morning as I have my coffee. Unfortunately, there are a lot of bitter people in this world who don't care how much they hurt you. That is sad to me.

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    1. Thank You Sharon. Your kind words mean so much! (((HUGS)))

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  5. Ugh! This makes me so sad. I hope that you keep blogging because I love your family. Please add me if you go private if you have enough invites. Remember how much you are loved by so many of us. (((HUGS)))

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    1. Oh! Amy :o) you know I LOVE your boys too!! Thank You for caring. It means a lot to us. I'm hoping Tom and my daughter will see that maybe we should just tough this out and stay. ;o)
      (((HUGS))) back!

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  6. I am a lurker as well, but I so look forward to reading about your sweet kids and MA. I truly love your blog and what you are doing for those boys. It's a miracle to watch them grow through your photos. If you do decide to go private, I'd be thrilled if I could make the cut. I fully understand if you prefer to keep only people you know, though. So sorry that people can be so mean to such a good person!

    Sue in NY

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    1. Thank You Sue! Thank You for reading! Lurkers always Welcome! (((HUGS)))

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  7. I just don't understand people at all. I love your blog and reading about your kids ! I hope you don't stop, and manage to figure out a way to keep blogging !! :) ~ Jenny

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    1. Oh Jenny! If everyone could be as sweet as you! Then this mean stuff wouldn't happen! Hug that precious Nathan for us! I think Tom is softening with reading the comments! ;o)
      (((HUGS)))

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  8. Elizabeth-

    I don't think I have ever commented on your blog but have so enjoyed reading it since I found it on RR. I follow many RR families, praying for you all while you are in midst of expanding your forever families.

    I completely understand the need to limit the access that trolls have to your blog and to your family.

    That said, congratulations on your beautiful family and thank you for living God's Word so clearly and with such joy.

    May God bless you and keep you, may God's light shine on you and May God grant you peace.

    Jane, a reader/mom

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    1. Thank You so much Jane!! You are too kind! (((HUGS))) So glad you commented!

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  9. Do what you need to to protect your family! The internet is scary and trolls are terrible.

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    1. Alex you are PRECIOUS!! Thank You Sweetie! Sending all my LOVE and (((HUGS))) to you! You go girl! You always so encouraging! p.s The boys love the cute clothes! (((BIG HUGS)))

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  10. I love reading your blog! You don't know me either. Somehow I started following your blog. We are trying to adopt a SN child from EE. So I understand if you can't allow me to follow your blog. I'm so sorry to hear what's happening to you! I am a blogger too.:)

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    1. Welcome Angela! Thank You! Hoping Tom will be brave with me and let the blog stay! We are praying! (((HUGS)))

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  11. I completely echo what Katie said. Your family--and your joyful blogging about them--fill my heart with gladness. If you go private I would very much want to keep reading, but I also don't know you and so would not want to take someone else's place in the roster who has more claim to you. : ) If blogging makes you happy, I think you should keep doing it--through writing the Holy Spirit is multiplying your blessings! And I personally don't think God desires those sad, mean people to steal your joy. So, please talk to Tom and pray about it, but I hope God gives you peace about still writing, but privately.

    I am in a funny blogging limbo too. My mother-in-law does not know I have a blog, and so therefore neither does any of my husband's other family members. My husband and I have been married for 17 years, and it has been rocky with his mother from the very beginning. She has really struggled with needing to control everyone in the family, needing to get her identity from what we do and are, and for years and years it was really a miserable relationship. She specifically used to make me her whipping boy, and it did not matter what I did or said, it was WRONG. And she had to make sure I and everyone else knew how WRONG I was. And she hated me telling stories (you know, about what was going on in my life, a funny experience I had once--the usual things that come up at any family dinnertable). She would literally interrupt and not let me finish whatever I was saying. And she HATED the Christmas letters I sent out, that did not just say "this year we did this and went here" but which actually shared what God was doing in my life. She actually called me up and lectured me on how no one wants to hear all that, no one cares, and she never wanted to see me write a Christmas letter like that again to anyone in her family. (So I still wrote them, but did not send them to her or her family.)

    Well! As you can imagine, when I started blogging, I did not tell her about it because it would have been all kinds of sad and distressing, to both of us. She would not have been able to handle me having a blog, and being real, and telling stories. . . she would have been so angry about it, and it would have hurt our relationship. And I know she would have read it anyway, and then just used whatever I wrote against me in negative comments. Using my own sharing to bring me down. . . . (the comments box is making me break up this long response into two parts. . . )

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  12. But my blog is not technically private, so we have had a few scares where we thought she had opportunity to find it, and I hate that. I hate sometimes feeling like I am sneaking around behind her back, purposefully keeping things, and myself, from her. But on the other hand, what is wrong about it? I love writing, and get happiness from it--like you seem to--and God has used my blog and other people's blogs to BLESS others (such as in advocating for adoption fundraisers), and I wish my MIL could come by, and Lord willing our relationship will continue to grow and heal until we reach a place where I can invite her, and it will be good.

    But if she ever does find my blog, and is angry that I have one, I will have to chose between going private and shutting it down. I just might shut it down at that point--because going private in response to her finding it would definitely be a big rejection of MIL, to tell her she is not invited to my party. : ( That would not be loving her.

    But I don't want to shut it down, and I don't want to be private--so for now I just pray that God continues to use my blog for His good purposes, and that He will not allow her to find it until it is His timing. : ) That's where I get my peace!

    Ok, that was a long story. It is not at all similar to yours--but I just wanted you to know you are not alone in your need to find the right, healthy balance in your blogging and in your family's privacy. I am praying that God will guide you clearly, and whatever you and Tom decide you will both have peace about it.

    (Here's my blog, now, in case you are curious! ; ) http://www.oblesseday.blogspot.com/

    Our blogs need to be safe places for our families and our spirits!

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    1. Oh! God Bless you Blessed!! Your heart is beautiful! Your story here, could help someone reading my blog too! Thank You for sharing!
      My MIL was very much the same as yours, but my husband did not ask us to spend much time with her! My MIL is in Heaven now. So it's several adult children who harshly harshly judge us.
      I pray over every word I write, hoping to touch their hearts. No matter what I say or do they are angry. I asked one to go to counseling with me. We pray constantly for their hearts to turn towards God.
      Your attitude is so full of LOVE! (((HUGS))) Thank You!

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    2. Thank you for the kind words in response, Eliz. : ) You said your husband did not ask you to spend much time with her--well, guess what? GOD has asked ME to spend lots of time with her! Ha! Years and years ago, when we were a young married couple without kids, living in the same town as his folks, so we saw them weekly (and it was terrible), I remember distinctly God speaking to me--I was washing my hands and grumbling about something, and a voice in my head said, "I am preparing you to care for your MIL one day." And I about died--WHAT? NO! But then it made me laugh--He knew I needed years and years and years of warning to be ready for that time. ; )

      And really and truly, another time he spoke a word to my heart, and said that one day, when she was old and was able to look back upon her life, she would know that I had been a friend to her. You could have knocked me over with a feather when He whispered that to my spirit!

      And slowly, slowly, things have been improving. Our relationship used to be so bad that I was depressed because of it (because I started believing I was all the terrible things MIL said I was) and after years of verbal abuse I swear I had mild PTSD. Poor husband--he grew up with it, so does not know anything but to let it go on. But the past. . . year? Things have been starting to be better. I still have to be careful and guard my heart, as it is not safe to expect too much, but I am so glad to see how God is doing AMAZING things in my and MIL's heart. He is so Good and if we are faithful, He will bring about healing.

      So, I will definitely pray that He brings about healing for your family! That whatever bad feelings are under there are brought out into the light, and are therefore able to be healed.
      Much love to you all!

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    3. Thank You Blessed! Thank You! (((HUGS)))
      I hope others reading here with MIL challenges see your beautiful Christ filled walk! You are an example to many! I am humbled!

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    4. Hugs right back at you!!!

      I do hope others are encouraged, so thank you for letting me share over here on your blog!

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  13. I'll miss reading your blog, but your family is definitely more important. I'm sad that people are using your blog to judge you and make your lives harder. I pray that situation will be resolved.

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    1. Kelli I am so thankful God crossed our paths! Thank You for your kind words. (((HUGS)))

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  14. This makes me so sad...this is the first blog I come to and just love reading about your family. I hope you find a way around it for those of us who are loyal supporters and non-troublemakers. XOXOX

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    1. Polly you are so sweet! Thank You! I am seeing Tom's heart soften about shutting the blog down. So we will see! :o) (((HUGS)))

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  15. I would truly miss your blog if you have to shut it down. Your children are all so precious and I check your blog every day. You have to make the right decision for you and your family, though. They don't need to be hurt over this, especially your children still at home. :0)
    -karen g

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    1. Hi! Karen :o) (((BIG HUGS))) Tom is re-thinking his decision as he reads the precious comments you all are sending. I would miss everybody so much. You ALL mean so much to me! Thank You for your encouraging words to our family!! Keeping you in our prayers!

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  16. I really hate for you to take your blog private. You are an insperation to me each day I check your blog and read with interest what you have to say, From all I read you are the most loving person. I am sorry your family is hurting you. I understand if you go private, but I will miss you.:)

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    1. Thank You Rhonda. You are so kind! Readers like you bless our family! Thank You! (((HUGS)))

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  17. I read your blog every single night! It's so special to me, I hope I can continue to read, I love your family and your love for others. the world needs more of that, not judgments from others taking that away.

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    1. Bless your heart! Thank You! (((HUGS)))

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  18. I was quite sad to see you might go private, your blog is a gentle reminder to me to that God is faithful. Year after year goes by and I think, "God how can I manage this" and He reminds me that you and Tom do so much with what you have been given, why can I not do more? I hope that comes across ok, basically you are such an encouragement to me.
    P.S. I love the crock pot post, I want the recipe for the oatmeal it sounds scrumptious!

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    1. The Creme brulee oatmeal? Yes I'll post it soon! :o)
      Thank You Candice! You are precious! (((HUGS)))

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  19. It's so sad to think how the enemy uses people to hurt us.I love your blog and will be sad to see it end. It seemes many people are ending their blogs for this reason.I will pray for your family and miss seeing your update on the boys.
    prayer to you from alabama.

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  20. I love your blog, and would be sad if you had to shut down or go private, but again you don't know me (I'm a friend of Grace's) and followed your adoption story of the last three boys ever since Grace and Anna were over there at the same time as Tom. Your story, passion and faith are inspiring. Blessings with whatever decision you make and prayers for a change of heart not only with regards to the blog but those who are passing judgment.

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  21. This is a very difficult thing to read. your family is very inspirational!

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  22. Hi, you don't know me, but I enjoy reading your blog and will miss it =(
    ~ Abbie

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  23. Oh Dearest Elizabeth, I will miss reading your blog so much. Your love for your children, Tom, and most expecially God shines through in you writing. I am so sad to know that I won't be able to watch your beautiful children grow. I have been reading since before Pauly and Julius came home. You are an inspiration for how to simply LOVE, no prejudices and no expectation. I wish you only the best and will continue to pray for you and your precious family.
    " Don't be afraid for I am with you.
    Don't be discouraged for I Am YOUR GOD.
    I will strengthen you and help you.
    I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.
    "Isaiah 41:10 Blessings to you. Sonja

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  24. The Lindquist family LOVES looking at the blog. ( me mostly , then I update mom ) :) If u do the 100 we would LOVE to be on that!

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  25. Hi Elizabeth,
    I have been reading your blog all the way from Australia for a couple of years now. You and Tom are an inspiration to me. I am sorry people have been giving you grief. I hope to be able to continue reading you blog. Take care . Joanne xxooxx

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  26. Oh, I hope you don't have to go, either, Elizabeth. Tom....your family has been such an encouragement to me. It's just as the others have said - when I see your faithfulness and love for children and willingness to do whatever God asks of you....it helps me to know that I can, too. I can hang on. I can do more. I have room for more.

    I'm so sorry for your troubles....this is surely one of those things we can not understand in this world. :( I pray that somehow, someway, some day....God redeems it all.

    With love...

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I love comments :o) so please be kind! (((HUG)))