Welcome!! Grab a cup of coffee and visit with us! We hope you enjoy our story! (((HUGS)))

Welcome!! Grab a cup of coffee and visit with us! We hope you enjoy our story! (((HUGS)))
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Monday, October 8, 2012

When a boy with DS has been hurt beyond his ability to mentally survive

My beautiful beautiful boy. Big brown eyes, thick black eye lashes, beautiful brown hair. He has the face of an angel. My Jacob, or our~ baby Jakie~ as we call him.
Something terrible happened to our son. Something we may or may not ever figure out. My first questions to our Dr were-
"Is it a TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury)?
Or could it have been a high fever, virus, left untreated?
Or is it mental illness from enduring the horrors of 7 1/2 years in a place that killed 18 other children in 2011."
We have lots of tests set up.
This is why I cry.
Jacob is a baby. Mentally he is a baby. A 6 month old baby.
When Tom saw him the few times, and the few minutes, they let him in April, he was different. Was he medicated? Why was he able to "cope" better? They said his visits were short and few because he was "sick". Well of course he looks like he doesn't feel well, when you see how he "acts". Is that "sick"?
He is so dis-associated (sp?) from reality. He has the most self stims of any child we've ever seen. He comforts himself continually with all of his self stims, because no one ever comforted him. No mommy ever held him the way he needed to be comforted.

I hold him when he lets me. He does "know" people. He knows Gabriel, but Gabe has a hard time being with a boy like this. He knows Dad, Dad brought him home, Dad feeds him, he responds to Dad as a person he accepts. For the rest of us he cries like a baby. We may be too many, too much for him. He'd sit or lay quietly the entire day if we let him. But we talk to him. We try to "pull" him out. We act as though he's responding even if he doesn't.

Jacob has very bad nystagmus, he can't support his weight on his legs. Altho last year we saw a photo of him "semi" standing in a crib. His hands can't pull a toy out of a toy bucket. He fights us to flop his legs out of his hip sockets. He makes sounds to comfort himself, but not to communicate. He only responds to eating, flashing lights and musical toys. He used to hold onto Dad's arm as he fed him. As if he was afraid Dad would stop feeding him. He's more relaxed now eating.

When Julius and Pauly were sick their appetites dropped. Jacob, Noah and Mosie ate tons while they were sick. It was so sad. They are so hungry.

Thank You for helping us bring Jacob home. Thank You for helping Jacob have a life with LOVE just the way he is. My tears flow as I hold him and think, there are so many more Jacob's out there. Will anybody LOVE them? Will anybody LOVE a boy who was hurt beyond his capabilities to survive? A boy who may never love you back?
This was last April. Sometimes in pictures we see glimpses of the boy we thought he was. Because we are mom and dad, we have hope! Hope he will have a future! Jacob you have a family now!

9 comments:

  1. I wish you could meet Yana. She isn't afraid of affection, doesn't reject it, but didn't accept it either a lot of times. She does now, from familiar people. She ranges from a 3 month old to a two year old developmentally. She will be 10 in March, and home since July 2010.

    Hope for every child! He is beautiful as is your heart sister!

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    1. I think I remember Yana, Kelly! Isn't she from Bulgaria too?
      She sounds precious! That's our hope for Jakie!
      (((HUGS)))

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  2. I'm praying for your sweet Jacob. Thank you for being his parents.

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  3. Oh sweet Jacob :( I'm so sorry you were so hurt by that place. Praying for your healing. So glad you have a family now who loves you just the way you are!

    Elizabeth, I just LOVE all of your boys. They are each so, so special. I LOVED sharing my visits with them. God bless you for seeing their potential and giving them a chance at life. They are blessed to have you. And YOU are so blessed to be their mommy!

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    1. Thank You Grace! Your Sam is precious- I LOVE her singing! :o)
      Tom enjoyed meeting you and Anna so much!
      (((HUGS)))

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  4. Not a day goes by that I don't think of y'all and esp. little Jacob. My prayers continue for blessings and peace, for adjustments to come slowly but surely, for bonding, and for God to touch your beautiful, shiny-haired boy so he somehow feels your love. I hope y'all can find answers, answers that give you hope. Does it help that we have hope for him too? Whether he is ever able to come to you emotionally or not, I AM SO GLAD he is safe and loved.

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    1. Oh Sonya, I have tried to answer your e-mail 100x. Not a day goes by that we don't adjust one of those beautiful blankies over a boy, and think of you! Just so much to do till we fall into our rhythm! ((((HUGS)))) We LOVE you guys!

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  5. Thank you for sharing your Jacob with us. I appreciate you honesty. He is a beautiful child and I am so glad you and Tom have him. I look forward to seeing him bloom over the years. You do an amazing job!

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  6. Precious Jacob! I am so glad that he is with you and Tom, Elizabeth. It's enough for you that he's at home with you being loved and accepted, and because of that I have so much joy in my heart when I think of you. I am praying for you as a rhythm starts to develop out of all the hard work. You guys are my kind of heroes. LOVE YOU!

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