Welcome!! Grab a cup of coffee and visit with us! We hope you enjoy our story! (((HUGS)))

Welcome!! Grab a cup of coffee and visit with us! We hope you enjoy our story! (((HUGS)))

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

31 for 21...........phew! I did it!

Oh! boy! This was a CHALLENGE!! I had 2 late posts, and 29 on time. phew!!

And then this morning I see a precious Sister commenting if I can continue to post daily!! ROTFLOL!!

Seriously?? LOL!!

I think I'm taking "31 days off for 21" now!
O.K. I'm kidding! :o)
But I'm tired! Each day flies by so quickly, it's hard to get the time.

Today was Jacob's Neurologist visit~
I'm going to copy and paste you what I wrote a Dear Sister in Christ because I'm too tired to type it again. :o) (I did edit a little! ;o)
Spell check died on this post (computers!), so please excuse any typos!

First the Dr has no idea why they operated.

He said pressure (fluid) can build up from the cysts, but he does not know if that was what they did? (release the pressure) He can't "see" evidence of anything having been done. He did say that in the medical file from BG, that at 4 months old, a CAT scan was done; because the procedure they describe sounds like a CAT scan. But it sounds like it was done for vision. He thinks it was just done to "see" and maybe then they saw the cysts? But then if they operated, why are they still there? He has no idea.

He says we will do a 2 minute MRI next year to check them. We will watch them. He said to watch for swallowing difficulties and physical changes as a sign of pressure (fluid) build up, but that the fluid builds up slowly so we'd probably not even see if it is building up until next year. Or maybe not even until the next year. We know that Pl*v*n would never notice a child eating or not eating with swallowing issues, or physical changes, because so many children there eat that way already! So why the operation?

He has no idea why Jacob's feet flop and point down. He does not know why his left leg and right arm are weak. He does not know why his left leg turns in when relaxed. He really was no help with our physical questions. He was pretty vague. :o( 
So we will see our mobility specialist (Dr) next. :o)

The radiologist report said- "There is an arachnoid cyst in the posterior fossa in the midline which measures approximately 3.9 x 2.8 x 5.5 cm in diameter. Benign appearing." They gave us a really neat info sheet on Arachnoid cysts. It didn't explain anything about physical weakness.

The neuro also said his Cerebellum is smaller than normal and that could explain some of his physical delays. I googled it and found it could also indicate another syndrome in the Ataxia family. That was a little frightening because our daughter Molly passed away at age 27 from a severe genetic form of Ataxia. We don't know if Jacob's weakness/floppiness is possibly Ataxia too.

I still think his head bothers him from the surgery. I may be crazy, but as a mom, I really feel he's still heavily dealing with healing from whatever happened to him. Pl*v*n said he cried without reason. I think he has a reason, his head "bothers" him causing him stress, still. I know it takes 3 years to recover from surgery. I'm wondering if it will take that long for his head to "feel" normal again to him. It's just a feeling I have because he gives us looks of distress momentarily and then he's fine.

I still think he could have also fallen on his head or had an untreated virus or meningitis that started them thinking something was up. But why operate? And why didn't they tell us??? UGH!!! UGH!!!

The good news- it's not terminal. We LOVE him. He will be cared for with LOVE and respect the rest of his life. He's home!

Thank You all for your prayers!! Praise God the cysts aren't terminal!

Down Syndrome is the least of Jacob's worries. In fact it has very little to do with his life challenges so far. He does have DS, but the other things going on physically/mentally are far more disabling for him. He has more in common with a child without DS. He doesn't have any of the things you think of with a child with DS. It goes to show how little we know sometimes about people.

The pediatric neurologist Thanked Tom and us for adopting Jacob.
Of course we are humbled at the opportunity to have him in our lives. We Thank God for sending him to us!

(((HUGS))) :o)

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Jacob~ ebay :o)

                                                  Top with cover
                                               side view covered
                                                      inside view!!

ebay link~ http://www.ebay.com/sch/earc4650/m.html?item=170818188029&viewitem=&sspagename=ADME%3AL%3ALCA%3AUS%3A1123&_trksid=p4340.l2562&afsrc=1

                                            New things on ebay :o)
Tomorrow is Jacob's pediatric neurologist visit at the University of MN. 70 miles away and 70 miles back in bad bad traffic. Dad will take him. I did not see the Radiologist report- but the Dr called and said there were Arachnoid cysts on his brain. Why weren't they removed? Did they grow back? What does this mean?

                                          Please pray for good news!
God Bless those who have helped Jacob's medical bills. We are humbled by your kindness! ( more (((HUGS))) :o)

Monday, October 29, 2012

The R word

Lots of people are talking about the "R" word.
Retarded. When I was little it was "Retard". When my mom was little it was "Mongoloid".
Was retard and then retarded the nicer versions?

I don't "think" of anyone as retarded. But if I were too have to explain a childish or odd social behavior, about my adult kids with special needs, it does quickly get to the point. I do like "special needs". Not sure why that isn't used more. My peers do not know what special needs means in regards to actions of a person.  

By the time I was 26 (many many moons ago- 29 years!) the "new" word was "Developmental Disability". My son was 8 years old and he was expected to tell people he had a developmental disability if he tried to explain his confusion to others. I didn't even know what Developmental Disability meant, my son was new to me at age 7 1/2, I was his foster mom. I asked his Social Worker what it meant, even she couldn't explain it to me?????

I told my son he was retarded. He could say that word easily and his psychiatrist said it was from the root word Tardive- meaning slow. Slow to learn. But not unable to learn. We liked that. He liked that. It made sense to him. Until he turned 16 and the Special Ed teachers told him he could do anything he wanted to do. They said he had no "disabilities". He wanted to be a Fire man. I tried to explain that mom could not be or do anything I wanted because, we all have things we can't do. We all have abilities and well, disabilities too. He told me he wasn't stupid. I let it go. Then he got an Algebra book, and mainstreamed in classes with an aid standing by giving him simple addition papers instead of Algebra. He wanted to get rid of his aid, he wanted to be left alone in class to do what he wanted. So they loosened up and he was arrested at school for breaking the law. They didn't care. He was 19, the first special ed student in our district arrested. Because of that they moved the 18+ special ed kids out of the high school building! and made a transition program. Which gave them even less supervision and assistance. Soon he was in trouble again. :o(

It's a long story. But we won the court case after his first arrest. He was not prosecuted or found guilty. In order to win I had to find him "not competent" by testing his competency. It made me sad. But he truly did not intentionally commit a crime. The prosecution (the State of MN said I was an irate Day Care provider who'd do anything to find my son not guilty. No, I was an Adult Foster Care/Waivered Services provider who could not have a convicted felon in my home. And my son was innocent.)

Not competent....................is that worse than retarded? Something to ponder. Then I talked to an experienced psych who said people with mental disabilities had won the right to be prosecuted and get the death penalty. I told him then they might as well just kill my son, because he'd never understand why that was a hard won freedom.

At our County it's still called "the DD Unit" , for Developmental Disability. But then they've changed their name several times over the years also- from "S County Social Services" to "S County Services" and now "S County Human Services".
Hmmmmmm, they all sound the same to me.

I see my youngest boys now have "Global Delays", no more Developmental Delays. But I tell them they have Down Syndrome. Hopefully if they say they have DS, others will "get it"?? It's a special need.....right? My boys are pretty darn special- all my kids are! :o)
Thank goodness I'm smarter now, I think I know what global delays are.

But aren't all these things just words? Like sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me? We can re-name it, over and over. We can make it sound "good" like something you or I wish we had.

But are we just being silly?
I think so. But then that's my very humble opinion.

A p.s. about my then 8 year old son who is soon turning 37 in one month. Since leaving home at 22, he has been taken advantage of, hurt, broken bones, hit by a car, rode his bike into a building head first, hospitalized in psych wards, had tons of things stolen from him, given expensive electronics away, had his meds stolen to the point he had to stop the prescription, he's been taunted, teased, the butt of jokes, arrested, and humiliated, (sadly I could go on and on) all in the "S County Human Services" endeavor to treat him as a non-disabled man with their (questionable) "supports" in the community. And we can do nothing because we are not his "blood/birth" family. We adopted him. At 22 yrs old the County "took" him back by promising him he could do whatever he wanted so he contested our Guardianship. So he could then do what he wanted.
When we can't sleep at night, I'm glad that "they" can.

Sunday, October 28, 2012


I'm beginning to LOVE that number! :o)
Belle will be child number 21. I only mention that because she has 21 chromosomes. (Tom and I tend to forget how many LOVES we have, unless the number is of importance, like 21! We kinda like that number! *wink*)

I've been feeling kind of melancholy lately about my precious treasures. Whenever we adopt our agency tells us "You are our only family looking for special needs." or "You aren't concerned about birth mom's drug or alcohol use are you."

Granted it's a private agency that charges fees a lot higher than many. But they believe in us, SUPPORT us and get the job done wonderfully. So we pinch pennies to use them. I guess others think if you are going to spend that kind of money for a Homestudy, you want a child with no added needs?

And it's not that we "aren't concerned" about birth mom's alcohol or drug use. It's just that that will not be the reason we do not adopt a child. The child did not do that.

So as I hold my bunch of boys from Bulgaria!
Oh! Yes, I sit on my bed and hold the whole bunch!

I remember that the only reason the adoption agencies think the boys are here is because they have special needs!

Nope~ they are here because God sent them. :o)

The agencies think that if we had been younger, more interesting, had a higher status in life, with less children, we could have adopted some of those kids without the extra needs. Some of those "perfect" babies.

Nope~ that's not our FIRST choice! We believe just as God said~ "the least of these will be the greatest".

And if their birthmoms added to those needs, because they did not have God's LOVE in their hurting hearts, well we aren't going to hold it against the child. 

God will take what others think is not good and redeemable. He can make ALL things redeemed for His good.

I often wonder, if someone wrote an adoption profile about me, what would it say? That I need a family that will accept an older, fat, vision impaired woman. That I can cook, but have less energy to do it because it is "of concern" (translation talk from medical files on the children) that I am older. Oh my who would adopt me?


(((HUGS))) thanks for stopping by! :o)

Saturday, October 27, 2012

When I wish upon a star :o)

 I wish that every child with Down Syndrome, big............
or small, ;o)
had a family that cherished them. I wish they were cherished as much as a child who is a sports prodigy or a musical genius.

I do know many are. But sometimes it seems as if most are not.

I wish for all kids with Down Syndrome to hear their parents say with joy "That's my boy!" Just because, he is their boy.

Growing up, I was considered the "odd" one. Not very smart. No talents to be seen. And I had ideas that did not conform with my family's values. I let them down. And I was not developmentally delayed or disabled. But I certainly felt that way.

For me, I don't feel bad about this. I forgave my parents years ago. My precious mom became a Christian (YEAH!!) in her 50s.
And the way I was treated, taught me to LOVE, as only someone who ever wished to be LOVED, just as they are, could know. And isn't that true of all of us? Even though we have differing circumstances. When we realize the POWER of God's LOVE for us! "Just as I Am" is one of my favorite hymns!

A gift from God. Refining me for my purpose. What if I'd missed it? I shudder to think.
To God be the Glory!!
And by the way (*wink!*) "Those are my boys! up there!"

Friday, October 26, 2012

Thank You!

The people who visit our blog are so extra special! With huge hearts of LOVE for children!
You get it!
You know that your prayers help our boys!
You know that gifts to help Jacob in no way need to be large. Times are hard. And yet you who give, God blesses your giving. And what God blesses, covers all needs.
We LOVE watching what God does through you, who care about our boys with us!

It's now 26 days of writing about Down Syndrome. :o)

Today at the bank they were talking about that it is breast cancer awareness month. I am certainly for recognizing breast cancer. My precious mamma lost her left breast to cancer this year. The breast that nursed me and my 2 sisters. A piece of my mamma. It was a frightening day. My mamma is getting tinier every year. She's 79, she's under 5' tall now and weighs 99 pounds. She's disappearing on me.

I reminded the bank tellers that it was also Down Syndrome Awareness month. One said she knew. But didn't share how she knew. :o)

Then we Fed exd and UPSd our forms and fees, for our precious baby! It always feels good to get those things done. Our homestudy only needs a reference, medicals for Tom, Samson and Gabriel and we are DONE!
The agency for Belle no doubt has more papers up their sleeves! ;o) The agency is run by an attorney~ we have never signed so many- "maybe"-"if"-and "could happen" forms! I get nervous just reading them. There were also many papers to sign promising updates, money and swearing that we are law abiding citizens. :o)

And now another picture of Mosie in his "Mr. Brown" look (as we call it). We loved the Mr Brown show by Tyler Perry.

You know how I LOVE-LOVE my boys. They are such gifts in our lives.
Well, I hate to tell you this but they are LOVE-LOVING us back more every day. (I just don't want you to be jealous! *wink* or think I'm bragging!)

Moses started his Thyroid medicine Tuesday and I'm thinking that it has to be his "happy" pill. He is now even more happy! (I know, is that even possible!?) And he's more ticklish, so when we dress him he goes into fits of loud laughter!! Is there a word to describe someone who is beyond joyful?? It's as if he can't believe what a great life he has now. So much attention, LOVE and lots of activities all day long! With food! Lots of food!

The only time he has not been happy is after he had his shots, and yet he didn't cry, he only looked concerned. The next day he was slightly quiet from the shots. Each band aid that stuck to his leg caused him stress. Those have been the few times he has not smiled. But in 6 weeks time with us, he has smiled every day, too many times to count. And now add lots of laughter!!

Oh! How I LOVE this boy!
Thank You God for all of our children!
Thank You God for you who LOVE them with us!

Thursday, October 25, 2012

11:32 p.m.

Here in MN it's not quite Friday yet! :o) So I haven't missed this day- yet!!

All I can think about is our little Princessa Belle. Who we call Belle for short. I keep pinching myself.
Tom only had time to pick up a marriage license for our paperwork today.
Tomorrow we notarize papers and send them off with our fee payment. Then we send more Home Study forms to our MN agency with their program fee! :o(

We lost a day of completing this because of our LOVE~
Jacob had his MRI today. (I need a newer photo with his hair cut. He's so handsome and his hair grows back fast!!)

It was scheduled for 10:45 a.m. but was not done till much later. He came out at 2:15. He was stressed. He hadn't eaten. And he wanted to get away from the hospital more than anything. Poor precious boy.

Next Wed. he will go to the University of MN (70 miles away) to see a Pediatric Neurologist, so we can get some kind of idea about what has happened or what is possibly going on. He also has some stiffness in the neck area. (can't remember what it's called) The neck area we always x-ray on our kids with DS. We need to get the Drs opinion on that xray too.

In the meantime the MRI is not covered by insurance and so far it is $3,500.00 not including Radiologist report. Also insurance will not cover his U of M visit. Which is at a minimum of $1,500.

Yes, we had money set aside. Our insurance is $800 a month alone for the kids and Tom, and mine $425 a month. Now we'll have birthing expenses for Belle etc. (Is birth a pre-existing condition?? ~kidding~) I'm sure some of you may think that we are just plain dumb to do all this. I understand.

I had so hoped to sell more polish pottery last week, and my Fenton is not selling well either. The bids are incredibly low. I did sell a bowl to a woman that is such a huge support to us, (Thank You! You know who you are!) I wish we lived closer to (((HUG))) her!! She mentioned that she just wanted to donate, but I did not have a donate button so she bought the beautiful bowl. Isn't she sweet!

That got me thinking. So yes, I did put the "donate to help Jacob's medical" button up, because his needs are so great. Greater than the outpatient surgeries we were expecting for Mosie and Noah. (adenoids,tonsils, circs and un-descended testicles) And we were shocked that our insurance expects us to wait 1 year to do these out-patient surgeries (WHAT??) or they are considered pre-existing conditions. (cry) No we can't have them wait any longer.

We also found out Mosie has low thyroid and anemia. So glad I told them to take blood!!!!!!!! They were so overwhelmed by his tiny size they weren't thinking!

If you would like to help little Jakie get the specialty care he so needs after 7 years of  questionable medical care. We would be beyond blessed by your help. And I know God would Bless you right back. Because all of these kids brought to the US from these situations are precious in His sight!


Wednesday, October 24, 2012

It's a YES!!

      Princessa Belle Archer
Due early November somewhere in the Southern half of the United States of America! (can't say right now)

                                         Join us in celebrating!!
And PLEASE pray for her. Birthmom has issues with chemical dependency. Please pray for birth mom and baby, that they are as healthy as possible for a safe birth and delivery. That birthmom wins her fight over addiction. That baby is healthy to travel and has no serious medical needs. We do have our World Famous Pediatric Heart Dr on call. :o)

               PRAISE GOD!!
         HIS WILL BE DONE!!
                 (((HUGS))) :o)

Tuesday, October 23, 2012


I am not an advertisement for Cafe Press, honest! I have just been in love with this tshirt ever since I saw the logo a few months ago.
So a few days ago I searched for it. And I'm happy to say it comes in onesies too!

If a little someone joins our family in early November. We will be wearing these Tshirts! ;o)

Monday, October 22, 2012

Friends for life

It's after dinner and MA has brought out her collection of magazines, catalogs and word find books. The bag hanging off the back of her walker has a whole bunch of fun stuff too. Pens, pencils, a coloring book. We have the TV on one of her favorite shows for her- Wheel of Fortune!

She doesn't need her "walker" to help her walk. She needs it to pile her stuff in and on it so she can bring it all with her in one trip. If we help her carry these things, we end up trying to convince her to take less of it. She hates that!

When she was younger she'd crochet with me. Bringing out only her yarn bag, nothing else. But she has forgotten how to crochet now. Watching her make knots in her yarn balls, I must confess, I got agitated.
Sorry MA.
It's a chilly October evening so of course she needs the quilt! Possibly because I like the window open a crack for fresh Fall air. MA is cold even while having a hot flash! Me, ugh, a hot flash makes me want to put the fan in the window in December. But, she won't let me. ;o(
Sorry MA.
We talk-and talk- and talk.........well maybe it's mostly me talking.
MA politely listens.
 Even as my talking lulls her to................
                                                                               dreamy land.
Sorry MA!! ;o)

It takes a lot of patience to put up with me. Good thing MA has lots of patience or I'd live a very lonely life.
MA laughs at my jokes. Teases me when I'm sad. Listens to my troubles. Hugs me when no one else notices I need a hug. And agrees with me every time Tom makes her mad! ;o)

I have been beyond blessed to live with my best friend 25 years, and she still LOVES me!
And oh how I LOVE her!

Thank You God!

Sunday, October 21, 2012

The "family" picture

Easier said than done! LOL!
We needed a "family" picture of all of us still in the home for our new homestudy.
Grace's boyfriend Dan took several for us.
And then Grace wanted to get in one! :o) She doesn't live at home, she's 22.

Eight are missing~ Angel,(would be 36, now in Heaven) Andy soon to be 37, Shirley 33, Ian 31, Molly (would be 29 now in Heaven), Joy (would be 24 now in Heaven), Matthew 21 and Hope 19.

Now tomorrow I'll tell you why MA is the only one in her pajamas and robe! ;o)

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Each an Individual!

     I know, I post the "group of boys" photos quite a bit! LOL! I LOVE them!
But today I was thinking. 5 boys. From the same Country. Adopted from two orphanages. What do they all really have in common?
People who do not understand may say "Don't all 5 have DS?"
Well yes, they do~ BUT~ does that tell you anything about who they really are? Or describe their personalities, their likes, their dislikes, their strengths?
For example~ our Noah, he's 9. He likes to watch TV, and play with any of his siblings. He hates being accidentally sat on. He'll cry over it for hours! And he does not like rough play. He wants to talk. He likes to travel. He loves to laugh! He's moderately active!
And then there's Jacob, he's 7. He is serious, if something interests him he'll fight to keep it! He's very finicky about his environment. He tolerates traveling. He loves to be tickled. He doesn't sleep easily. He's choosy about the siblings he allows to be near him. He cries, without interest in communicating. He prefers not to be active.
And Moses is happy happy happy, with us. He does know the difference between family and a stranger. He does not offer smiles as freely to strangers. He tolerates a lot of things because he is very dependent on help due to his size. He wants to do big boy things but his hands are too small. His activity level is mostly bouncing because he's so tiny! If he LOVES you, he delights in your presence alone! 
Julius is 5 yrs old. He is fiercely independent. He doesn't like being told what to do, he doesn't like to do anything unless it's "his" idea! LOL!! He's quick to react! He keeps us hopping! He climbs and runs and throws!! He only laughs when he wants to!! If you tickle him he'll hold his giggles in!! He's always thinking!! He hates rules! 
And last but not least, Pauly who is 5 yrs old too. Pauly is totally sedentary by choice!! He's very laid back! ;o) Most days he sits- and sits by choice. He walks- sloooowly. If he's sitting he does not like to get up and come to you. He inches foreward towards you and sits some more! LOL! Tonight he actually got up and walked over to me for dinner! We clapped and cheered!! He is pretty quiet. If something makes him laugh he laughs for hours!! :o) Pauly learns slowly. But once he learns it he's like the elephant who never forgets!! He likes rules, he likes knowing what to expect!
So there you go. 5 boys, complete opposites in so many ways. Totally unique to themselves. In fact they have more things in common with their brothers and sisters who don't have DS. It just goes to show~ we can be similar and yet very different in so many amazing ways!
5 fearfully and wonderfully made boys!
Thank You God!    

Thursday, October 18, 2012

What have they done?

I wrote about my beautiful boy here~

I knew something was terribly wrong with Jacob. I knew in my momma's heart. I took this beautiful boy into my heart as my son. And my momma's intuition told me. Something terrible is wrong.

We were waiting to ask the Drs to help solve the mystery. Jacob had a Dr appt. on Tuesday. I cut Noah's hair for his Monday Dr appt, and then I cut Jacob's beautiful brown locks.

This is what I found.

                                                I was right.
         But oh how I wish, Dear Precious Lord, I had been wrong.

When you get the file of a child to commit to, there is a medical profile. Then you should get it updated if anything happens before the adoption.

Four of our 5 boys have the same medical information on their adoption papers as their files. You don't get to see the adoption medicals until after you adopt the child. He was adopted in July- Tom saw the papers in September. So we had breezed through reading Jacob's, not noticing that between 2005 and 2007 something new was added!

They stated~
Nov. 11, 2011- Nov. 21, 2011 he was hospitalized in St I*** R*** in S****. For Endoscope fenestration (BRAIN surgery) of the arachnoidal cysts.

and the 2nd sentence said he returned to the hospital Nov. 23rd to Nov. 30th and "was again hospitalized". What happened?

These cysts are serious. That surgery is somewhat experimental- NOT a cure. There is no cure for these cysts. 

TWO hospital stays within days? That's a 3 hour drive to and from his orphanage. Eighteen children died in his orphanage in 2011, why weren't they hospitalized?
No information was given on the out come of the surgery.
None of his medicals given to us before, ever stated anything about arachnoidal cysts or health issues suggesting them. And the symptoms we read were so vague you'd need the child to "tell" you they had them. Plus there were many children in that orphanage that "presented" with multiple symptoms so obvious (like hydrocephalus) that were not treated. Why?
Jacob's brain surgery could have waited till we brought him home.
We committed to Jacob in Dec. 2010. Mosie was very sick in August 2011, they told us because a friend was there and to see him she had to go to the infirmary where he was. They said if Mosie was too sick they could take him to the Children's Hospital a few miles away.
When Tom visited the 3 boys in April, Jacob was 5 months post op.
They told him he was sick with a virus. Now we don't believe that. Jacob's visits were very brief and Tom was with our 2 other boys plus another adoptive family and the translator in a tiny room. They had to sit in that room crowded together. Tom could not have noticed anything different about Jacob in that short time.
Once home we had noticed Jacob's left leg was weak. Our Dr showed us it is smaller and atrophied. It is weaker. Also Jacob's left arm is smaller. (This was not in his medical file.) But his right arm is weaker. Most likely from the surgery. If it was the "left" arm it would have "matched" the left leg weakness.
Our poor Jakie cried when we had him bear weight and "walk" with us. We had no idea, it must have been painful.
Now when he looks "out of it", I think his head must feel incredibly "odd" to him post surgery.
Right now Jacob is 10 months post op. On his trip home he was 9 months post op. What if he'd had a seizure on the plane? Tom had no idea what poor precious Jakie needed. He had no idea what Jakie had been through. We can't even imagine how he feels right now? Does his head hurt? Does he have pain?
He went through this surgery alone.
You/we all prayed him home, donated and helped him have a family.
                                    THANK YOU!!!
                                     God Bless you!
He has a referral to see a pediatric neurologist. Then he'll get his MRI. And we'll really know more about what happened to him and if he needs future surgery. We should then know how dangerous the cysts are to his health, if he has them. And how to better care for his needs.
Precious Lord in Heaven we THANK God for this beautiful boy.
Please pray for Jakie with us.
(((HUGS))) We LOVE you ALL!

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

New Fenton listed on our ebay

Please help spread the word! Thank You!!

Our link is on the right side! :o)

What? The honeymoon is over??

A very well meaning adoption professional told me she hoped the "honeymoon" with the 3 boys would last forever for us, but when it was over; if we had any problems we should let her know if she could help!

What??!! Were we having a honeymoon and I missed it!? LOL!!

We know what "honeymoons" are. We had them with lots of our kids.
The kids seemingly settle in with you. They seem to "love" you and then, they notice you have..........pimples!! And you notice they.................smack their lips extra loud as they eat! LOL!!

Maybe we are strange..........but I really don't think so (in this case any way! *wink*) but we had no honeymoon last year with Julius and Pauly and we have had none this year with the 3 luv bugs!

I have seen this same kind of lack of honeymoon (that I'm going to describe about our boys) with families adopting from Ch*ina. The children do not usually start out happy to see you, and are not too happy to leave with you and get to know you. They cry, they grieve, they are frightened, they don't "really" like you right away. Even if you have gifts.

Maybe this is good to be rejected at first? Our little 5 1/2 yr old Korean daughter, "loved" everybody. That's how we got her. The family who brought her over had an amazing honeymoon with her and then............ she loved everybody! She grew up with us and had RAD. So maybe it's good?! if they reject you and then grow to accept you? Just thinking out loud~ I'm so not a professional~ just lots of mom intuition!

But back to our boys!!
Nope no honeymoon.
The first 2, ages 4 and almost 4 years old; came home and moaned and groaned and gnashed their teeth till I thought (6 months later) it would neeeeever end! They were picky and refused food, affection and had fears of everything.
Nope, that's not a honeymoon!
But one magical day (don't ask me when cuz I was half asleep and ready to cry!) they looked at me and decided "You know what? Your o.k.!!"

(These are "rejection" photos in the hotel.
Julius in blue, Pauly in green.)


Then this year, we brought home 3 "older" boys. Ages 9,7 1/2 and 7 1/2.
These boys had much more life experience.
Not good experience, but they knew more.
They have watched and read people for yeeeears! Often when I tell people this, they think that because the boys have such big delays with their DS that they "know nothing".
That strikes me as odd, because they are not dumb. Delayed does not mean not knowing. They are quite bright and quick learners considering the torture they endured.

                  "Why are you taking me away from everything I know?"
                           "I don't even know you! Don't look at me!"
                 "Should I be afraid? You don't even speak my language."

Last Friday Moses had his physical~ Monday~ Noah had his and Tuesday was Jacob. (Yes I tried to stretch out the appointments but with the Drs schedule this was the best we could do!) So I'm exhausted!

The Dr was so distressed by Moses' size and what to do for him she forgot to do his shots and blood. We waited in the waiting room and they shooo'd us home. So Mosie goes back Monday. :o)
Noah and Jakie have all their shots and blood and x-rays done! Yeah!

I don't need to tell you that all 3 boys hated the labs and xrays. (Mosie did get xrays)

At the end of Noah's Dr visit he realized that the people there were wearing "lab coats" like the orphanage staff. We had to do xray and labs next, but he freaked out by the familiar uniform and started screaming. He climbed to the top of my head and started ripping my hair out, hanging onto my hair with all his might. He was in full blown terror. My Isaiah was my helper that day and he was walking behind us whispering "Mom, he's pulling out your hair!" Poor Isaiah, he was worried about how crazy we looked. All I could think about was how to help Noah feel safe. Was he afraid I was giving him away to these people? Or did he want to stay there with them? Who can imagine what my precious boy was thinking.

I did get Noah calmed down, and he was never so happy to go "home" after xray and labs. Once home everyone greeted him with LOVE and excitement like an honored family member! :o) It's the most fun of leaving! Returning to everyone waiting for you!

This morning, the day after Jacob's Dr visit. We got the boys up as usual. And Noah came into my room for his diaper change laughing and smiling. He was so happy. Next Jacob came for his change and he too was all smiles~ very odd! They tend to look tired and sleepy first thing in the morning.
These two have not been easy to win over. These two had their doubts about us. This morning they let them all go!

Mosie had been won over after only 2 weeks here. Because he's so much more dependent on help, he couldn't really reject us as easily. Once it made sense to him that we LOVED him, he let go easier, and trusted.


The honeymoon is over! We won their LOVE! LOL! It took only a month compared to the 6 months younger boys needed. And we are now greeted with smiles and laughter, instead of the calm sedated "o.k. change my diaper" attitude.

I really think the "older" boys are much easier to transition into a family. Younger isn't always easier. Our older boys are more appreciative. They are easier to console. They don't cry at Dr appointments. (unless they have a "flashback") They have less fears. They are more willing to try things. Julius' first trip to Walmart with Dad ended up with him drooling in fear. The older boys like to go outside and see new things.

Thank You well meaning adoption advocate, but we didn't have a honeymoon. We had the hard part first. And now the rest is pretty darn easy! (to us anyway *wink*)

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Great post!

We have been so busy here I keep forgetting to post this!
My friend Connie, another RR adoptive mommy, wrote an amazing post here~ http://www.godsadoptioncall.blogspot.com/2012/10/suffering-and-american-christian.html
I hope you'll check it out!

Pauly have I told you lately how I love you?

This little boy has been home 14 months. He has totally bonded. This is his home! He walks, he crawls up on furniture. He's curious! He likes to pick things up and look at them. But if you catch him doing it he'll drop it and look away immediately like........who me?

It's harder for him to express himself. He still doesn't see why talking is necessary. He's a quiet thinker, observer. He never misses a thing! We're always working on ways to get him to respond to us with yes or nod yes with his head. He thinks we're crazy!

He's methodical in everything he does. I call him my little "football" guy. He's solid! He walks only with purpose and running around escaping like a silly little mischief brother (Julius) is not his thing!

He's not a TV watcher, but he enjoys a good book! He likes things that you can hold in your hands!

If he cries you know it's serious. He's either scared or hurt. He rarely cries.
Physically he communicates everything he needs~ "LOVE me, hold me hug me, tickle me, dress me warm, change my diaper................and I'll follow you for life!" Because now he is a part of something! A family!
This precious sister (Kitty) adores him.

We never say "kids with DS" when we describe Pauly. Because we have a funny feeling even if he didn't have DS, this is who he'd be.

Oh how we LOVE him!

Monday, October 15, 2012

Eyes of LOVE, almond eyes

Each morning we see sleepy faces and the sleepy faces are always happy faces.

Each day not one of these boys is sick of seeing us or wishes we'd go away!

These 5 little boys never wish they were doing something else, or lived somewhere else, with someone else.

They LOVE us unconditionally and they LOVE us all day long!

We don't even need to do anything special to receive this precious love from them.

They don't ask for candy or toys. They don't want to go to Mall of America or Disney World.

They just want our time, our attention, our LOVE.

And to think we doubted if we could do this. To think that we questioned our sanity in bringing home a bundle of boys!

Tom and I are the happiest people on the planet!

Sunday, October 14, 2012

DS is not a disease, you will not die from it, I promise

                                             Moses - August 2011.
                          Moses very very very very sick. 6 years old.
He was stressed.
He was hungry.
He was alone.
He had medical conditions un-related to his Down Syndrome!
These conditions were not always properly cared for.
Children died around him and they did not die from CP, TBI, DS, ADHD, RAD, or any other diagnosis they may have had.
Some died from hydrocephalus~ only because it was left untreated !!

Children with Down Syndrome do not die from Down Syndrome.

But they sure do die way too easily from neglect.

Moses October 2012.
He is fashionably wearing- a pumpkin hat, orange monkey fleece top, each arm sports a Lufthansa flight toy!! (LOL!!) and last but not least American flag socks!! ROTFLOL!!
He is sitting in the "King" chair made with LOVE and care with Duplo Legos; by his 10 yr old sister Lysa!
Yup, life is preeeetty darn good here for our Mosie! ;o)
Praise God!

In fact all 3 of our new boys caught a really bad cold with us. And I say really bad because our 8,9, and 10 yr old, Gabe 17 and Tom and I had it too. It was a bad cold. We thought for sure that the 3 new boys were headed for Urgent Care and antibiotics.

LOVE, good nutrition and lots of diaper changes later. (don't forget LOVE is an action word!)
They have recovered from the cold all on their own!!
We are all! healthy here!!

Saturday, October 13, 2012


Please help us spread the word!! Little boys have co-pays for lots of Drs!!
 Our ebay link is on the right hand side!

Julius, a boy who happens to have DS

                                March 2011 Julius In BG first visit!!
                               August 2011 Julius (left) Pauly (right)
                                            HOME FOREVER!
                               I could carry both boys together then!
One of Julius' first surgeries helped him have more testosterone/hormone in his body. This really made a big difference in his growth. Prior to this surgery, his first Urologist had frightened us with the thought that Julius might be a girl! We knew he was not! After extensive blood work it was confirmed, he is a boy! :o) A beautiful boy!
                          Yup! This is September 2012. One year later.
My LOVE my boy Julius!! He has grown into a healthy happy guy.
Yes, he still struggles with behaviors that he had used to survive over 4 years without a mommy and daddy.
Yes, he was the most resistant to my LOVE. For months he responded to me as the "mean orphanage lady"!! ouch!
He really thought that he and dad could live very happily without me! Thank goodness dad did not agree!
I am ashamed to admit I lost patience with him more than once as he "fought" me. He blessed me with his forgiveness. And I worked hard not to lose my patience with him. The reward~ he's momma's boy! Of course dad still ranks high in his world too! But he LOVES his mamma!
And now, he is so well rounded with his likes and dislikes. (oops as I write this he has run over Noah's toe with his truck! Noah is crying.)

Phew- back now- thank goodness Noah is consoled easily!

As I was saying, my Julius. Wow! Wow! Wow! Is that really my boy? My little Ju-Ju bean as we like to call him! He is so everything I love about having a son! Boys! They are so not girls! LOL!! I love how I try to imagine what he's thinking and it's totally boy stuff! He surprises me every time! I LOVE that about my boys!

And oh yeah! Julius just happens to have Down Syndrome. And I totally LOVE that about him too! Wonderfully created by God!

Friday, October 12, 2012

If a boy could be named JOY or LOVE!

If a boy could have name like JOY or LOVE it would be Mosie! His name would be Joyous Lovejoy Archer. ;o)

Mosie had his first Dr visit today. We had our list of things ready to discuss. Nothing too serious. The normal stuff we see boys from orphanages need. Most of the same stuff we saw with Julius & Pauly. ENT, Heart Dr, Urologist, dentist.
We feel like experts now! :o)
It's amazing how the few corrective surgeries the boys receive here, really enhance their lives.
And then we did the tests for DS like hip and neck x-rays. Mosie liked flexing his hips, hated holding his head down for his neck x ray- ugh!

At first we had driven to the wrong clinic! Aaack! So we "ran" (I don't really run LOL!) out of that clinic, to drive from the South clinic to the North clinic! Of course there was road construction. :o(

Mosie thought my running was great fun and panted excitedly as we rushed!After we were done seeing the Dr he bounced up and down wanting me to "run" to the van as we left for home! LOL! Silly boy!
No Mosie, mom only "runs" if we are late!
First thing we heard at the clinic was "Tell mom she wrote the wrong birthdate!" Nope, he is 7 1/2 years old. Some things about him are very much like a 7 year old. He doesn't cry. He's curious. He tries to manipulate things. He enjoys meeting the people! He would have gladly spent the day there!
Then we told his story to everyone who saw him. Lab nurses, x ray techs, Drs, Interns, everybody!! Why? Because we can't adopt/save all of these most precious children.
And once you see you know. Now you need to do something!!
                                      ADOPT-DONATE- HELP!! 
I love-love-love-love this boy. As I hold him and kiss him and talk to him, he responds to me with his entire being. His entire little being tells me~ he LOVES me too. I am beyond blessed. We are beyond blessed. We are Mosie's family! Forever!!
Yes some days are hard to have a boy so tiny, so helpless to do the things he wishes to do. Some days are sad when you smell the cavities and decay from his broken teeth. Some days I cry just because I know he was not long for this world, before we got him.
And then I see my angel boy sleeping. In his bed, with his Elmo, and his boy clothes, and his blankie. And I know hard is nothing compared to not having this precious boy in my life. To not have known the LOVE of my Mosie. That would have been too hard for me to bear.
Little precious LOVE-Joy-LOVE! Oh how you have blessed our lives beyond what we deserve. We Thank God for you Mosie! We Thank God for allowing us to be LOVED by you!! Oh how I LOVE you my precious little man! My gift from God!