*This is my very humble opinion. I am older and wiser. I've adopted 13 of my 17 children. I am 55. When I was 25, 35, 45, I was not as wise. As you age you will see, wisdom does come with age, Lord willing. I am speaking in love, not wanting to sound as a clanging bell. This has been on my heart for a while now.
I pray for the children in Bul*gar*ia constantly. I pray that they find families. I pray that they know love and learn of Christ one day very soon. I wish for other families to adopt as many little boys (who wait longer) and girls as they are able. I often do not understand those who don't or won't.
But realistically not every one can or should. Sometimes it's enough for families to just support the families who can with their prayers, love, money, encouragement.
I have seen too many families JUMP whole heartedly into adoption, only to regret their decision. They lose faith and eventually withdraw from the child/children. Telling me that they will never adopt another child/children from this country again. Telling me how drastically the child/children changed their family dynamics for the worse. How the child/boy was harder to care for than they had imagined. That their other children now suffered from their decision to bring the child/children into their family. They feel miserable. And I know exactly how they feel. I know exactly what they are going through.
Hard to raise, bruised and damaged kids come from everywhere. Even here in the US. My hard to raise kids were from the US and K*or*ea.
There has been alot of excitement this last year. Many of us watching others adopt precious children near death. Our hearts wanting to also be a part of the solution to help these children. Listening with my ears glued to their stories of love. It's natural to want to save one of these children ourselves as well; and be a part of the solution. It's natural to want to save children from a life without a family. It's natural to get caught up in the thought that "I"/"We" could parent one of these precious children. I/we could add this child to my/our family!
There are so many wonderful advocates for the many children needing families right now. They are highlighting their pictures. Sharing the terrible hardships the children face daily. This is a blessing from them, available because of technology.
But is it a blessing to tempt the families that may be too vulnerable to meet the needs of children like this? Children they so desperately want to help but may not be ready to parent.
I speak with caution.
Be still and know I am God. Sometimes I think we need to wait upon the Lord. To pray and fast and ask Him for direction. How can we do this when in the back of our mind we are thinking~ what if someone else commits to this child before me? The temptation to just commit without time and prayer is strong. The urgency that this child must be saved is written on many blogs. Rather than seeking Him first, we jump in with both feet.
Then there is lots of attention. You are the amazing, wonderful, family that will be rescuing this child. Now will your family live up to these expectations? Not always, because we are human beings. We fail, that's why we need God. And a Saviour, Jesus. We also need to remember, there is nothing special about us doing this. It is all God.
The attention/support a family gets for adopting one of these very needy little blessings can be fleeting. And I'm not saying anyone does this for attention. I'm saying that having blog readers and supporters of what you are doing is enjoyable. I certainly enjoy attention for adopting from pL*Ev*en. Supportive prayers and comments can be water to a thirsty soul. My boys and I certainly benefit greatly from the LOVE others have for them/us. So many precious souls wanting to help them come home. God has truly blessed us with this!
But eventually you are on your own. People will search for the next family who needs help. People are quick to move on to the next very needy child. I do this too. We're human. We lose interest and forget about the kids who are now home. We see the child is adopted and safe, we move on. We think they don't need our support any longer. Of course this is not true. And some will need us more than ever. Especially if this is harder for them than they expected.
This is a life long commitment. It doesn't always get easier. Many times it does get harder. Should that stop us from doing it? No. But we need to be prepared. And we should seek advice from Godly women who have gone before us on this journey. Who have gone through these hardships before us. Those who have a long history of adoption. Not the family who just came home with a child. Altho the new family can help us with the newness, they can't see down the road yet.
I'm not just talking about others here, I'm talking about me too. I'm not pointing fingers at anyone. I could hardly talk about this if I had not experienced adoption hardship myself. As wisdom comes I see my failings more clearly. I see my temptations for what they are. But that does not mean that I am immune to them. They are there. When I was younger I felt them more strongly.
There is a lack of respect for elders in our communities today. Which is sad, because they are a valuable resource. I even have adult children who do not respect their elders, which carries over to disrespect for me also. I'm sure I failed somewhere somehow in my parenting to instill this strong enough. But society has enforced the disrespect as well.
What I'm trying to say is, God is in control. The urgency is God's not ours. And we don't even know how God sees the situation. I know there is a bigger picture to it all that will be revealed to us when we see Him. We need to pray and remain in Him, His will not ours. So many times I think I know His will, but I do not not always get it right. That's where waiting comes in. We must wait upon the Lord.
Adopting a needy child is not a bad/wrong thing. It teaches us to lean on Him and trust Him more. It shows us our weaknesses, and gives us humility. But it should not be a quick decision, or done hastily. It should not be a popular thing to do because the child is receiving alot of publicity/attention asking people to "please consider adopting this child."
We need to highlight ReecesRainbow.org and let God do the rest. We can put the children's pictures up and let God do the speaking.
Those of us who have already adopted, we need to be an example, so those praying about adopting can see into our lives; the reality of raising these precious children. To help them decide by our example. They need to decide how will they help the children? Praying? Adopting? Donating? We should not put any pressure on them to do more or to do something they may not be ready for.
Please do not rush in to make your decision. (((HUG)))
God Bless us one and all.