Welcome!! Grab a cup of coffee and visit with us! We hope you enjoy our story! (((HUGS)))

Welcome!! Grab a cup of coffee and visit with us! We hope you enjoy our story! (((HUGS)))
CLICK ON THE BOYS PICTURE TO READ OUR FAMILY BLOG

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Please, wait upon the Lord

*This is my very humble opinion. I am older and wiser. I've adopted 13 of my 17 children. I am 55. When I was 25, 35, 45, I was not as wise. As you age you will see, wisdom does come with age, Lord willing. I am speaking in love, not wanting to sound as a clanging bell. This has been on my heart for a while now.

                                    
I pray for the children in Bul*gar*ia constantly. I pray that they find families. I pray that they know love and learn of Christ one day very soon. I wish for other families to adopt as many little boys (who wait longer) and girls as they are able. I often do not understand those who don't or won't.

But realistically not every one can or should. Sometimes it's enough for families to just support the families who can with their prayers, love, money, encouragement.

I have seen too many families JUMP whole heartedly into adoption, only to regret their decision. They lose faith and eventually withdraw from the child/children. Telling me that they will never adopt another child/children from this country again. Telling me how drastically the child/children changed their family dynamics for the worse. How the child/boy was harder to care for than they had imagined. That their other children now suffered from their decision to bring the child/children into their family. They feel miserable. And I know exactly how they feel. I know exactly what they are going through.

Hard to raise, bruised and damaged kids come from everywhere. Even here in the US. My hard to raise kids were from the US and K*or*ea.

There has been alot of excitement this last year. Many of us watching others adopt precious children near death. Our hearts wanting to also be a part of the solution to help these children. Listening with my ears glued to their stories of love. It's natural to want to save one of these children ourselves as well; and be a part of the solution. It's natural to want to save children from a life without a family. It's natural to get caught up in the thought that "I"/"We" could parent one of these precious children. I/we could add this child to my/our family!

There are so many wonderful advocates for the many children needing families right now. They are highlighting their pictures. Sharing the terrible hardships the children face daily. This is a blessing from them, available because of technology.

But is it a blessing to tempt the families that may be too vulnerable to meet the needs of  children like this? Children they so desperately want to help but may not be ready to parent.

I speak with caution.

Be still and know I am God. Sometimes I think we need to wait upon the Lord. To pray and fast and ask Him for direction. How can we do this when in the back of our mind we are thinking~ what if someone else commits to this child before me? The temptation to just commit without time and prayer is strong. The urgency that this child must be saved is written on many blogs. Rather than seeking Him first, we jump in with both feet.

Then there is lots of attention. You are the amazing, wonderful, family that will be rescuing this child. Now will your family live up to these expectations? Not always, because we are human beings. We fail, that's why we need God. And a Saviour, Jesus. We also need to remember, there is nothing special about us doing this. It is all God.

The attention/support a family gets for adopting one of these very needy little blessings can be fleeting. And I'm not saying anyone does this for attention. I'm saying that having blog readers and supporters of what you are doing is enjoyable. I certainly enjoy attention for adopting from pL*Ev*en. Supportive prayers and comments can be water to a thirsty soul. My boys and I certainly benefit greatly from the LOVE others have for them/us. So many precious souls wanting to help them come home. God has truly blessed us with this!

But eventually you are on your own. People will search for the next family who needs help. People are quick to move on to the next very needy child. I do this too. We're human. We lose interest and forget about the kids who are now home. We see the child is adopted and safe, we move on. We think they don't need our support any longer. Of course this is not true. And some will need us more than ever. Especially if this is harder for them than they expected.

This is a life long commitment. It doesn't always get easier. Many times it does get harder. Should that stop us from doing it? No. But we need to be prepared. And we should seek advice from Godly women who have gone before us on this journey. Who have gone through these hardships before us. Those who have a long history of adoption. Not the family who just came home with a child. Altho the new family can help us with the newness, they can't see down the road yet.

I'm not just talking about others here, I'm talking about me too. I'm not pointing fingers at anyone. I could hardly talk about this if I had not experienced adoption hardship myself. As wisdom comes I see my failings more clearly. I see my temptations for what they are. But that does not mean that I am immune to them. They are there. When I was younger I felt them more strongly.

There is a lack of respect for elders in our communities today. Which is sad, because they are a valuable resource. I even have adult children who do not respect their elders, which carries over to disrespect for me also. I'm sure I failed somewhere somehow in my parenting to instill this strong enough. But society has enforced the disrespect as well.

What I'm trying to say is, God is in control. The urgency is God's not ours. And we don't even know how God sees the situation. I know there is a bigger picture to it all that will be revealed to us when we see Him. We need to pray and remain in Him, His will not ours. So many times I think I know His will, but I do not not always get it right. That's where waiting comes in. We must wait upon the Lord.

Adopting a needy child is not a bad/wrong thing. It teaches us to lean on Him and trust Him more. It shows us our weaknesses, and gives us humility. But it should not be a quick decision, or done hastily. It should not be a popular thing to do because the child is receiving alot of publicity/attention asking people to "please consider adopting this child."

We need to highlight ReecesRainbow.org and let God do the rest. We can put the children's pictures up and let God do the speaking.

Those of us who have already adopted, we need to be an example, so those praying about adopting can see into our lives; the reality of raising these precious children. To help them decide by our example. They need to decide how will they help the children? Praying? Adopting? Donating? We should not put any pressure on them to do more or to do something they may not be ready for.
Please do not rush in to make your decision. (((HUG)))

Again, just my very humble opinion. As I've prayed over the children this has laid on my heart for a long time now.
                                            God Bless us one and all.

10 comments:

  1. So truelly spoken and coming from someone who knows what they are talking about! I understand and agree with you. I have not been an adoptive parent as long as you but with 20 years experience in fostering and adopting, I too am concerned about this. While I still strongly believe in adoption and want to adopt again, I understand the hard work and heartbreak that goes on behind the scenes. People need to go in to adoption with a lot of training and their eyes wide open. It is also important to KNOW God called you to do it. That way when the hard times come you can stay strong and know it's just part of the trial from the path God called you to walk.
    Thank you for having the courage to do this post. It is a important people understand this.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Hope :o) (((HUGS))) Thanks for your wonderful comment.

      Delete
  2. What a beautiful and great point! God knows our children...we trust, we pray, and we listen...hugs dear friend!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Some have wondered if in this post I am advocating only for older adoptive parents, no I am asking younger adoptive parents to seek God first and then seek older experienced adoptive parents for suggestions! :o)
    And this post is not about any one person or persons! LOL!
    Phew! :o) Just my humble opinion!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Heather McFarlandApril 9, 2012 at 7:51 AM

    Thank you for being honest. My family is very concerned about adopting. I prayed and prayed and prayed that God would help me know what it is we are to be doing in all of this. He broke my heart back in August with the first pictures of little Miss Katie. He woke me up from my wordly perspective, you would have thought having a child with DS would have done that, and it did, but not to this extent. Since then we have done what I believe it is we are being asked to do, donate and share. For quite a long time my initial reaction was to drop everything and sign up to adopt, but with time and prayer, my burden to do so has lessened greatly. It is terrible that these children live in these conditions, but I truly feel like God said to me, this isn't about you and this is not your time. Maybe someday we will adopt, but for now we are just to wait, wait and pray, wait and give, wait and share and continue to love.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank You for your kind comment Heather. :o)
      Yes God will tell you when it's time!
      Like Kat says, He knows who our children are!

      I often read blogs who are very strongly advocating for a child and I've felt great urgency to act! After much prayer I realize it is not for me to adopt the child. But to pray and donate if I can. These children are often chosen quickly for that reason, emotions are high. We are human, we want to help now!

      Delete
  5. Heather McFarlandApril 9, 2012 at 7:52 AM

    And just so you know, I do read your blog for exactly the reasons you stated, wisdom.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thank your wise words. I am a subscriber to Elizabeths blog. I started reading your blog and following the rabbit trails to other adoptive families when she posted about you.
    There is a lot f pressure out there to act "now". It started to make me think I should be doing more. I've donated what I can(not much), but still felt like i wasn't doing enough. I don't have a blog or facebook to help spread the word with. I do feel a little useless in the fight. I've been praying on the idea of adopting. As of right now I truely believe God is telling me no.
    I thank you for not being afraid to tell us that it's ok if we are not called to adopt.
    I will continue to pray for all those who suffer and do my best to scrape together donation money when i can.
    God bless you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. God Bless you Janine!! You are touching more lives than you know! You ARE doing something! (((HUGS))) Love you!

      Delete

I love comments :o) so please be kind! (((HUG)))