This was the question the Stearns County licensor asked me when I told her we were doing great, and that JC should be allowed to move into our group home.
The licensor was rude, blunt and secretly wishing that she could tell me, she already knew that JC would not be allowed to move in with us.
She's a new licensor, previously from the Juvenile Justice System. UGH. Maybe lots of adoptive parents "failed" their kids in her old line of work. I say that very sarcastically. Adoption and adoptive parents get blamed for lots of dumb things. The old licensor our County had has retired. I had a relationship with the old licensor. She knew me. The new one "thinks" she knows everything about everyone.
I explained to the new licensor that we had worked 15 long months preparing for our boys to come home. We knew what we were headed for. We were excited after the long wait, to say the least. We knew it wouldn't be easy, but nothing worthwhile is ever easy. And yet to our great surprise- it was easy! And it was/is fun!
When people ask you this question enough times, doubts enter your mind. You begin to wonder, how are we doing? How should we be doing? Why has it been so easy? So much fun? Are we crazy? Or are we lying to ourselves?
When Tom walked through the door with the boys on August 20, I was worried. People said "Wow! You are going to be so buuuuuuusy!" I feared they may be right. Maybe I was going to be completely overwhelmed with 2 new boys? Then what was I going to do? My confidence faded.
The boys fit into our family like a warm snuggly blankie in winter. We never looked back. They were born to join our family. It was love.
Now we continue to have many doubters. Doubters who do not know it yet, but will find out soon. Like the Licensor and the rest of the County, that 3 more precious boys are coming. We committed to them last December, before we even met Julius & Paul in person. That was how sure we were that it was meant to be. They can stop JC from moving in- but they can't stop 3 more little love bugs from being adopted by our family.
We now know from experience (no more doubts here) that these 3 love bugs will also transition smoothly into our home. We have seen their new photos from August and they are even cuter than before- if that's possible. We know that as long as we keep all of our little boys fed and loved and safe. They adjust amazingly well. Whether the well educated Social workers at the County believe us or not. We know first hand. Why won't the licensor come to our house and see this for themselves? Because they don't really care. They just like to remind us that they are the professionals and we need their help and guidance....not.
We've already experienced success adopting 13 children, with none in the justice system, thank you.
Now why won't they believe us?