Welcome!! Grab a cup of coffee and visit with us! We hope you enjoy our story! (((HUGS)))

Welcome!! Grab a cup of coffee and visit with us! We hope you enjoy our story! (((HUGS)))

Friday, September 9, 2011

My Pauly, an angry little boy we so dearly love

My Pauly (Paul) is named after my mom's best friend from Jr High/High School. Her name was Pauline, I wrote about her here-http://godsgiftsinmylife.blogspot.com/2009/03/love-lost.html

Pauline was Greek. And she loved to tell about her Greek heritage. Her parents were born in Greece. I wanted to have a heritage too! My mom's grandparents were from Finland/Norway on her mom's side and England on her Dad's side. (my Dad's family is Irish/Scottish) So Pauline said she would teach me a Norwegian song. I spent hours learning it and singing it- I was about 10. My mom and Pauline would laugh and laugh as I sang. One day my mom told me Pauline just made the whole song up- the words just "sounded" Scandinavian. It was a joke. :o( I lost interest in my Scandinavian heritage until about 2005 when I made a big Christmas dinner of Lefse, Lutefisk and Krumkake. All of my children at home then were of black heritage and they were such good sports about eating the Lutefisk just to make this mom happy!! (thanks guys!! (((HUG))) )

I loved Pauline so much, I wanted to name a child after her. I thought a girl, but a boy name Paul is perfect too! Yes, Paul & Julius are named after Acts 27, but inspired by my love for Pauline. Pauline died before Pauly was even in the plans. But I know when I see her in Heaven she'll feel honored. She LOVED children and everyone, ALL children and adults LOVED her!! She would have hugged and kissed and squeezed the stuffins out of her little name sake if she were alive.

We call Paul- Pauly because it sounds "familiar" to him. He was called "Effy" at the orphanage. He knows his name is now Pauly. He is the size of an 18 month old. He is chubby, even though for an almost 4 yr old (he turns 4 on 9/20) he is considered small and "thin"? on the Drs charts? If he was charted as an 18 month old I think he'd be perfectly sized, maybe even a little big! The Dr could not find the chart for kids with DS.

He looks adorable in his little one piece jammies we bought from Hanna Andersson. He's built kind of stocky and looks like he'll have a great football jock type physique when he is grown! His hair is like golden straw and glistens in the sunlight. Now cut short it looks darker. He has the most beautiful blue eyes. Because of his autistic behaviors, eye contact is difficult, but I can see now his left eye wanders.

Pauly recently (recently with us) decided to suck on his thumb. Prior to this he put nothing in his mouth. But we have been trying to get him to chew on chew toys rather than grind his teeth. Sucking the thumb was cute until he realized he could shove it to the back of his throat and gag- bringing up his last meal. He also now uses his thumb to hold his mouth open and drool even more than he was!! He does all of this oblivious to any of us; until he hears my very serious voice say "No"! He now stops, waits and tries again. :o) It's good to see he can "hear" me!!

At night he fights sleep. He moans and groans and grits his teeth until around midnight. Then he loses the battle. When he wakes up he moans and groans and complains until he sees food. If we are all asleep mornings, he may sit quietly, but as soon as I'm up he complains. Once he sees his food he is a excited, smiling to himself, and does lots of autistic type hand gestures and head movements. We sit down to eat and he now has decided (since he's well fed) that he hates everything we feed him. Even his yogurt, his oatmeal. Those things he liked. He takes one bite. Makes a face that says "Yuck" and proceeds to spit each bite back out. We do this over and over until he eventually swallows it. He also has a very good ability to create saliva, if you feed him some macaroni and cheese (he swallows the noodles whole one at a time) he can spit it back out with a mouthful of saliva. So the dinner becomes quite a mess and the saliva flies in directions kind of squirting. I change my shirt after every feeding- I suppose I should wear a bib! I'm not sure how we are going to get him to put the food in his mouth. He will put a soft baby toy shaped like a caterpillar in his mouth- not to chew, to lick. Maybe if I put a dab of chocolate on the tail??

When Paul is "with" his sibs who are playing- he does not play. He sits next to them, yes, grumbling and growling and spitting. He shows no interest in them or the toys. We can't tell if he likes doing this, we can't tell if he likes doing anything other than the thought of eating. :o) Sometimes he will ask to be carried, but we only carry him if we need to. We make him walk or crawl- he does an amazing 4 point crawl! (I have an adult daughter who does not have special needs who commando crawled till 17 months and 3 weeks and THEN walked!! LOL!! Dr said no worries unless she was past 18 months!! I sweat that one out!) Of course Paul goes wherever he shouldn't on his own, but at least he's moving!! :o)

In some ways Pauly reminds me of my daughter Molly who we adopted from a disrupted adoption in CT at 5 1/2 yrs old.(she passed away 8/7/10 from ataxia) She was brought here from Korea at 4 1/2, she wanted to go home to Korea every day of her life. She just didn't understand. I see Pauly is sad. I see he misses Bul*garia. I see he wonders why he's here and who this mean lady is. I see that he has much more healing to do than Julius. I pray to God that we can help him heal so that one day he is happy to be in America with a mom, dad and brothers and sisters. Some children hang onto emotions that hurt themselves more than they hurt the people they are angry at. It's hard to know not everyone can be reached. It's of great comfort to know that we can love them regardless, just as God loves us!

1 comment:

  1. Praying for your patience and wisdom and compassion as you try to reach your little Pauly and help him learn to receive your love. I bet he is adorable in those Hannah Anderson pjs. We love them, too. Hugs to you!


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