It's a cloudy day here. But the Son shines in our hearts. I actually love rain, even tho I hate puddles and wet dogs.
Paul woke his siblings up this morning by crash banging everything possible in or near his crib. I had had a rough day with a teen ager yesterday so my heart was heavy. The crash-banging only made it harder to stay positive. Julius decided to chime in with whining. It was 5:45 when Paul woke everyone. I was up at 4:45, so I was glad that I had everything ready for the morning.
I feed Paul first. He's slow and picky and tries to break the spoon with his teeth every bite. He wants nothing to do with me, he just wants food. For a short period I hold his hands and wait for him to look at me instead of flapping hands in front of his face. He did look briefly.
Then I feed Julius. I use signs and excitement and encourage him to respond. He responds with spitting, animated head jerking and crossed eyes. I guess crossed eyes are better than no eye contact! :o) He's limp to my signing hand over hand. But he's not stiff and unresponsive so that gives me hope!
After eating, neb treatment,(Paul) and diaper changes both boys go in separate playpens by us to watch our day proceed. Years ago we put Samson in a play area, a plastic fencing thing in a circle.(they are in all the baby catalogs) It was great except he could move it anywhere he wanted!! UGH! That deafeated its purpose! I wanted him and the fencing to stay where I put them!
We then put 3 big dogs out one at a time. (our tiny Pom puppy was put out at 5:00 a.m.) The youngest 4 kids round the dogs up like livestock. Hand out their food, and I pick up the stinky stuff in the kennel.
We sit down for prayers as dogs slurp and crunch. The 4 youngest eat upstairs, the teenagers eat downstairs.
Tom has already woken the clients up and started their day downstairs. The kids and I are upstairs, out of the way as not to distract the clients from what they need to do. Tom comes up and down the stairs with questions for me. Kids run up and down with their dirty dishes, cleaning up after themselves. We like to sing Bible verses to a CD; to set our minds on things above. Our clients prefer a quieter morning. :o)
Homeschool has taken a back burner. We knew it would. There is so much that has changed DRASTICALLY in our routine. Today the youngest 4 are making a list of all of the GOOD things about having 2 new brothers and all of the hard things about having to new brothers. Today they have a piece of paper they are carrying with them; that has "good things" on one side and "hard things" on the other side. They are going to keep track all day. Then we are going to celebrate all of the good things! The good things are the sunshine in our day! They are already thinking very positive about it.
I read on a mom's blog (with alot of kids) recently that she adjusts within a month or so to adding newly adopted kids in the family. I wish I could say that. For us whether it is a new client or a new child, it takes a minimum of 6 months to adjust. Right now after only 5 days.........6 months is looking far away! :o) But just knowing it exists is all the hope I need!
I am trying not to judge myself too harshly as I stumble in my efforts to make things go smoothly for everybody. I love how God carries me through these trials. Thank You Father! Without my even thinking about needing Him, He is there. At the moment of the trial I may not "see" it. But I realize there is no way I could do all of these things on my own. There is no way I could or would have time for 2 little boys with emotional scars like this. I have to realize that I am doing the best I can, He will do the rest. He doesn't need me to do anything. I rest in Him realizing He is working through me. His ways are not the worlds ways. I must remember that constantly!! When I'm not careful I get caught up trying to fullfill worldly expectations for us and our boys. I must never forget our only important goal is for the boys to know Christ first and foremost.
In these days Jesus is our sunshine!