After I got well, my Isaiah was sick 2 nights with stomach flu and fever. Our Lysa also became sick Tuesday morning.
In the middle of the night I was running between the 2 kids with Tylenol and cleaning throw up buckets. (I often wonder what the ice cream companies think of this use of their buckets! LOL! The buckets are getting smaller now that there is less ice cream for the same $$)
We have had a super packed schedule added to the boys being home. We are planning some vacation time. We've planned and booked all necessary appointments into an already jam packed schedule so we can take time to bond!
Wed. morning Tom, SP and I took Paul & Julius for their neck x-rays. Tom took them into the x-ray room, I just waited and held boys! Thanks Tom! The 5 days Tom had in Bulgaria and loooong trip home to the US with the boys, helped Tom to bond much more with them! It's nice to have so much help from Tom! So moms I suggest you send your husbands to bring the kids back from EE- they will really bond well without us hovering over them!
We also had our Social worker come for a post placement/immigration/next homestudy visit! in the afternoon. It went very well except that I would have liked to have had the house cleaner, which was impossible to do with sick kids, 2 new boys, and Tom being gone with my best duster/vacuumer for 7 days! Oh-well! It was the real us dust and all!
Julius woke up early on Wed, from my going back and forth to sick kids. He was very quiet, standing watching me, which was a great surprise. When we loaded him into the van to see the Dr, Tom bumped his head hard on the van door way. Julius did not want Tom to comfort him after that. He let me comfort him, which I've been working on. He recovered much too quickly tho and I'm sure his head must have ached, but he wanted down. All day I play a game with him. Every time he wants to slap us, grab our glasses or scream a cave man type grunt; I gently take his hand and pat it or gently stroke it. I also hold my hand out to him. If he touches me gently I praise him, if he hits me I tell him no and hold his hand stroking it.. He remembers the repetition of this,over and over and he'll now even hold hands for a few seconds. During these things though he continues to avoid eye contact and turn his head away. He holds his head back wards and makes circles with it and then shakes it hard side to side. He spits loudly out of the blue and I respond by quickly pressing a Kleenex to his lips saying "Neh!" (no). He does get it, but eventually he forgets and we start over. :o) He's more receptive to his environment. This gives us a tiny "in" with him. Something we can use to try to pull him out of his "world". He'll even ask to sit next to us on the couch! Julius' arms grab everything and anything never letting go, much like an infant. Things go crashing everywhere! Today it was his sister's prized lamp. Dad thinks he can save it!
Paul on the other hand is still very loud. And very very anti-social. He doesn't want to sit with anyone, he wants to flail his arms and legs and kick. Yesterday was his worst day ever. All day long-humming, growling, grinding teeth, screaming. He was so angry- fuming! It makes you feel so helpless to watch a sweet boy jerk and move in repetitive movements over and over to avoid contact with you. He too spits. Yesterday he made puddles in his crib and on the floor over the side. We put him anywhere we can think of to try and reduce whatever stress he is going through. Sometimes his crib is best because it has several crib toys hanging and a stuffed toy he "sort of" likes. But today he got on all fours and rhythmically beat his head on the head board of the crib.We took him out of the crib and each place we set him he screamed and grunted oblivious to everything we tried. He avoids eye contact at all cost. When the social worker came he sat on the floor protesting, doing his little things to stay in his "world". He does not want to be held. He hits and head butts. Eventually he was very curious about the social worker- maybe because she was ignoring him? He investigated her a little and very gently reached for her papers. We were thrilled to see him doing something any other child would do. Samson decided he needed to show the social worker how he teaches the boys to dance; since Paul was standing. Paul handled the interaction with Samson well and Paul then sat nice with the kids in his strange "avoidance" kind of way. The kids play next to Paul and Paul accepts their nearness, but continues his "autistic" movements. Oh! if only he could tell me something-anything so I could reduce his stress.
Julius naps nicely. Paul does not. But once Paul falls asleep he refuses to wake up! LOL! They go to bed at 8 p.m. and Paul wakes up between 3 & 4 a.m. Julius wakes up at 6 with the kids. They are eating more foods with small lumps because they are very hungry. I noticed that since Tom saw them in March- they had gained weight. Did they get special attention because they were leaving? They act as though every meal is their last meal and cry when we stop feeding them. They show no interest in putting food or anything in their mouths by themselves!!!!! For the teeth grinding we bought chewie things- but they will not let them near their lips!
They do enjoy if we kiss their heads alot. But the do not return any affection.
Next post I'll talk about the medical stuff- the surprises that we think must be incredibly common!