It looks like my love M.A. is waking up here. But nope! She is getting ready to go to bed! And she is eating dinner! It takes her so long to get ready for bed now. We can't fix her dinner until she's done- around 7 p.m.
M.A. used to be very active and busy doing the things I asked of her. Things in the community. She helped me a lot. She loved being busy with the things that kept a household running. And then 10 years ago she told me she was too tired. She was too busy. Her legs hurt. She hid from me. She stopped talking to me. She wanted to do what she wanted to do when she wanted to do it. So I re-arranged her schedule the way she wanted and backed off unless it was non-negotiable! Like going on vacation! She has great difficulty transitioning now.
I had remembered how the Alzheimer's had changed our Susie before she died. I could see M.A. was having some of the same changes. And yet M.A.'s changes were more "normal" than Susie's. Normal for a 65 yr old. Now M.A. is 54, but her routine is very much like a woman who is 74.
Sometimes this is hard for me. I miss my old M.A. I miss the active ready to go shopping at the drop of a hat gal! We used to tell her she was "a wild woman"! She loved that! She'd tell others she was a "wild woman" too! I'm the same age as she is, and honestly she makes me feel quite old. It makes me sad. I try not to think about it. It is in neither of our control. I thank God for every day we have together. Only my husband has lived with me longer than M.A.
She is a gift from God in my life.