Welcome!! Grab a cup of coffee and visit with us! We hope you enjoy our story! (((HUGS)))

Welcome!! Grab a cup of coffee and visit with us! We hope you enjoy our story! (((HUGS)))
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Monday, January 31, 2011

The mom and the dad, my living with vision loss



Don't laugh. Here we are in 8/09. I'm holding our new puppy who is cut off from cropping the photo. She is 80 pounds now.


Yes, Tom has a pony tail. Rebelliousness from 3 yrs active and 8 years Reserves Army!


My glasses are shaded on the right side because in 2001 I had a "mini" stroke. (transient ischemic) I lost the vision in my right eye. The clot killed the optic nerve, the eye is actually fine. You need the nerve though to tell your brain what you see!


So now I'm right handed and left eyed. It is a challenge even after all these years! Light causes the bad eye (our eyes are connected) to tell the good eye that it's too bright and then I can't see with the good eye! So it is shaded. The bad eye doesn't see the shaded lense and often when people or kids stare I forget what they are looking at!


My daughter Grace who is a manager at McDonalds has an elderly customer with glasses like mine. When he came in the first few times his wife asked "Aren't you going to ask about his glasses?" Her husband laughed and told her "I'm a pirate!!" Grace smiled and told them "My mother has glasses just like that!"


I once saw opaque shading on a man's glasses, but my eye would think that was too bright too. It sure would be less noticeable though! :o)

My eye Dr commented "surely you must be used to people staring."
NO!! I'm not! LOL!


One time M.A. looked at me (after I lost my vision) and said quite grumpily "Why your glasses like that?" As if to say she wasn't pleased. :o)


Our Susie who was dying of Alzheimer's would jump in her wheel chair with surprise each time she looked at me until she couldn't remember me anymore.


Medical Drs have been quite rude and have said things like "what's up with the glasses?" ........well Doc I thought they were cool......not!


I'm about 20 pounds thinner than the photo now :o) The double chin is gone. ;o) I still have more to lose. Tom has weighed the same since the day I met him when he was 16 and I was 13!! LOL!


Samson has never said a word about my glasses. To him I'm just mom! He doesn't care what I look like! Bless his precious heart! Once my daughter Lysa took her sun glasses and pushed one lense out and wore them that way saying she was me! But she poked the wrong side out! LOL!!


I used to hate looking different. Looking different affected my work. The County, and families looking for a group home for their family member; prefer people to provide care who do not have disabilities. Meetings with work providers for my clients made them wonder "what" else my disability was. If I was capable enough to support my clients. I hated it. I was only 42. Tom was even put off at first by it. Having a visual disability means limitations. I don't drive in winter unless the roads are well salted! I wasn't as independent and I needed him more than before.


Now I see it as a gift. I know what it is like to be judged as "not fully functional". Not as good as someone with vision in both eyes. And viewed as someone who "may" have other unseen disabilities. Now I know how my Molly in her wheel chair felt. My Samson, Joy, M.A., Susie, and more with DS feel when looked at as "disabled". Or my Andy, Sandra and Ian with mental illness feel when judged not "all there". I work hard to prove I'm still me, but it gets frustrating, and yet it hasn't affected my entire life as it has for others.


I look at no one the same way anymore! I love the verse in- 1:Samuel 16:7 (NKJV) where God says to Samuel- "Do not look at his appearance or his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."
My vision loss is God's gift of compassion for me! As God told Paul- He will find strength in his weakness. Thank You Lord!


2 comments:

  1. What a beautiful post! Thank you for sharing from your heart....you are beautiful inside and out! I so appreciate all of the support you have shown me by your leaving kind words on my blog! Looking at your family....you are a true inspiration....hope to meet you one day in real life!

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  2. Paula you are to kind, bless your heart. Thank You for your encouraging words to me too! :o)
    (((HUG)))

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