Welcome!! Grab a cup of coffee and visit with us! We hope you enjoy our story! (((HUGS)))

Welcome!! Grab a cup of coffee and visit with us! We hope you enjoy our story! (((HUGS)))

Saturday, June 25, 2016

Invisible Boys

G will be leaving in a few days. He will disappear into "programs" and children's "homes" for those boys who can't function in a family. It doesn't matter that he functioned his best ever in our family. The State says he has to move on. He has already lived in 1 program and 1 other foster home before us. Three placements now going into 4 in one year. So sad.

I wish I could share the photos of him loving our older teens here. It is heart breaking. He feels safe, warm and loved. We won't tell him he's leaving until the day they take him.

His parents signed away their parental rights, his mom told him goodbye. He was o.k. with it for now because he likes where he lives. Eventually he'll wonder where they went.
But once again government rules (we can only have 10 under 18) say he never even should have even come here.

So why do they keep sending us these invisible boys who steal our hearts? Why do they hurt these boys by taking away their one possibility of a least restrictive environment?

We pray.

 The teens built him a house. We thought he'd love it! Everybody worked so hard on it!

                  Four walls decorated by 4 teens. I did the roof.

Decorated inside and out.
G hated it! LOL!!
After inspecting it, and trying it, he got ready to body slam it.
Oh my! The teens rescued it from G. And took it to their brothers.

Noah left front, Jacob left center, Moses left back.
Julius right front, Pauly right in back.
The brothers really really tried to like the house. They loved being in it with one of the older sibs. But they found no use for it on their own.

                           Jacob didn't want to stay in. :o)

Moses used it the most, only because he saw how much the older kids wanted him to like it! He tried! But he's an action guy. Not a "house" guy! So off he ran with cars in tow.

Julius tried to think of how it might work in his little curious monkey schemes. Nothing came to mind. Thank goodness he doesn't know how to body slam!!

Who are invisible boys?

(Warning what I'm going to say won't make anyone comfortable.)

They are boys that no one else has time for.

Boys like G, CC, Samson and our 5 youngest. Boys that people never ask about. Boys that if I am truthful I'd say no one really even cares about them. Seriously, IF they cared wouldn't they make time?

If I am talking to someone and bring up my boys, they go silent. They don't say anything. Sometimes someone might say "that's nice" or "cute". But they don't have time for it. They're busy.
No one has ever gone out of their way to be a part of these boy's lives. Only my mom asks how they are.

Some people blow me off and say "You are surely going to Heaven!" ...........what?.................... I just told you Noah has finally let us know he wants seconds at dinner!!??

If I ask someone to do something for the boys, help them, or heaven forbid spend time with them. (because the boys can't ask) They act as though they are doing "me" as a huge favor. Not doing it for one of our boys. Because if they do anything for our boys, the boys can't pay them back. They can't even thank them. So if others do these "favors" for me, they do expect me to be very thankful to them. Which of course I am. But I often tire of the "doing it for me", making my boys invisible again. Do we only do things for those who can repay us?

I'm the only voice my boys have.

I'm glad they don't "see" the rejection. They don't "see" that no one outside our house remembers their birthdays other than my mom. They never seem to notice the lack of interest others have for them. They smile just as happy to rude people as they do to me! :o) Should that make it o.k.?
They never had much, so they don't complain.

Some of the children we raised say all of this has only happened because it was "my choice".
My choice? that these children had nowhere to go, so I took them in? It wasn't a "choice". I responded to a need greater than me. These grown children also criticise that we took too many.
When the need was them, should I have said no? Would their lives really have been so much better? Do they realize we only get called when it's an emergency? We are the last on the list- and we said yes, because they were the un-wanted child. So since they never had to go without they can now tell us what we should have done?

Is it always so simple? Am I really in "control"?
Absolutely not.
To the adult children we raised-
God knew which children were coming here before we were all even born. God sent the children/you. I prayed for the Lord to send who (you) needed us. If you are ashamed that you were who he sent to us, talk to Him. Ask the people around you- would they have raised you? Why didn't God place you there with them?  

The bunk beds I asked my only SIL Dan to make are done. I'll show them set up in their rooms soon. We hope to get them set up this week. Dan is incredibly talented. Praise God! Poor guy possibly has no idea that he was an answer to my prayers, not just his wife's! ;o) 
(We could never afford to buy these new.) 

As G prepares to leave we are helping him gain strength- super powers. He is a Super Hero!! SUPER G!!! He did not know what the Bible was or who God was before he came. We taught him to pray. We can only accept his leaving by knowing that God will always be with him. Praise God!!

It's going to be a hard day when he leaves. Four teens are going to cry. G's heart will be broken when he realizes he's not coming back. We won't be allowed to see him. He's moving far away. But he'll never leave our hearts and prayers.

Please, find an invisible boy near you and give him a hug, or bring him a treat.

Saturday, June 4, 2016


 No news on G yet. This could take forever. We are told by the State he needs to move on because we don't qualify for a Child Foster Care license. (we already have 10 children under age 18)
The County wants him to stay here. He is thriving. And we adore him. Where will he go? A staffed Group Home, "if" they can find one. We asked for a Denial of the license so we could appeal. But they won't even answer us that yet.

 Love to kiss the top of G's little (big!) head!

 You can barely see the red string in front of him holding his cherished Happy Birthday mylar balloon.

G is one of NINE boys here! There are only 7 of us girls!!

Mr Noah deep in thought, turned 13 this month! Woo-Hoo! We have 4 teenagers now! The hormones have really affected him greatly. We are dealing with a little depression and some regression in behavior. He's still as sweet as ever. But not so cheerful.

 Moses our Minion in charge! LOL! He is learning "sign" language at an amazing rate right now. This is why we like to homeschool year round. Last Fall he still wasn't signing or attempting to communicate other than random throat sounds that were not understandable. Now he taps someone for help and points to what he wants. He follows requests to "pick up your toy". (the toy that he randomly drops on the floor!) He feeds himself everything and signs for more. He is amazing!

Jacob is now walking through an entire room before taking a break. He loves to explore and look out windows. He's very curious. But he still fears strangers. Instead of crying when he sees new people he now "shuts down". He won't look in their direction and he won't make a peep. He only communicates with tapping or touching at meals. The rest of the time he prefers to be left alone- ha! ha! As if we can do that! He's too cute!

 Julius turned 9 this month. My baby! He's been home 5 years. He and Pauly have the least memories of their orphanage. Jakie and Noah still miss things from those days. Moses misses nothing about that time, but those memories motivate him to work super hard at his independence. An independence that he never takes for granted.

Julius is our cheeky monkey. Always up for trouble. Which entertains Moses greatly! So Moses will bring Julius "trouble"!!! He'll get things to give Julius, like the water squirt bottle we use to squirt our cat if she's naughty. Julius can get the cover off and pour out all the water!! Darn Mosie!!
We have to squirt Mosie if he pulls the cat's tail- he just won't stop!!
Julius is very bright but not very motivated. He doesn't learn from his mistakes. So he repeats them over and over. He is as stubborn as can be!
He knows many signs but he won't use them unless I tell him to "tell me". Even then he might ignore me.

Precious Pauly.
He has very poor hearing, he qualifies for deaf/hard of hearing services. And he has his Autism.
His world has been expanding though. Recently he started "showing" he was angry!! He took a toy from his sister Mercy's basket. Mercy used to not even care about her toys. But she is growing too, and now she has decided that she does care!! So she followed Pauly to the hallway where he had sat in a chair to play with the toy, and she grabbed it back and ran to her room with it!! Pauly got up and followed her. She is fast and he is slower. He got into the room and saw she had the toy by her. He looked very unhappy. He walked back into the hallway and sat in his chair and stomped his feet, making an unhappy sound. He was mad!!
Most of the time Pauly is very silly, happy go lucky, and now he gets angry!

 Samson is busy learning to vacuum, fold his laundry and keep himself busy. He's always willing to help. He'd love nothing better than to spend the day telling his brothers and his dad what to do! When he has nothing to do he has a hard time finding something to do. He's not a TV watcher. He only likes one setting on his IPad. (fireworks)
He does like music. He has his own Bose radio/CD player that is turned off and on by him just touching it. He listens to CDs and makes tall lego towers. He used to write and draw until he decided he wanted to decorate his room with markers. We thought he'd outgrown this but I guess when you get creative it's hard to stop! :o)

My biggest boy helper, now 12. He has a heart of gold. And he shares a room with three of his brothers! They are very good roommates. Isaiah tends to them, getting his brothers what they need and they in return stay out of his things. :o)

We are super excited. The boy's favorite Brother in law Dan is making them new bunk beds!
The bunks they have now are stacked 2 high with too much bed space. I measured and brainstormed. The new bunks will be 3 high instead of 2. They will be the same height as the old bunks because the bottom bunk will sit on the floor with no space underneath. They will be 7" narrower and 17" shorter. They'll take up less space!

One set will go in Samson's room, with Samson on top, Noah on the bottom, Moses in the middle. Right now Samson and Noah share the bunk beds and Mosie has a trundle that slides from under.

In Isaiah's room the other triple bunk will sleep Julius on top, Pauly in the middle and Jacob on the bottom. Right now we have 2 sets of bunks in that room for Isaiah and those 3.
We are not sure if we'll keep Isaiah on his top bunk with the bottom bunk empty, or give him a single bed.

Last of all this boy. The leader of the pack! LOL!!(remember that song from the 60's!?) He just finished putting in a lovely ceiling fan in the living room to keep us all cool this summer. Now if only he'd finish painting the ceiling! ;o)
He has been growing more grey hair than usual chasing our sweet G. around. It has really helped G to have an ever present man/foster dad in his life. I tell Tom God sent G to him. They learn from each other. :o)

Friday, May 27, 2016

Please pray

If you have time, could you please pray for our sweet Foster boy "G". He needs everyone who is willing to pray that the Lord's Will be done on his behalf.
It's a HUGE mountain. But the Lord moves mountains without effort doesn't He!

Thank You. We'll share when we get the news. Altho government responds sloooooooooooooowly.

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Getting old enough for young people to wonder.........................

Adding a little girl was going to be our last "hurrah!". The ending to our adoptions. And it was Tom's idea. When he was in Bulgaria, he fell in love with many little girls there. It was his dream to bring one home. To be her Daddy.

I had my 5 little bumpkins and I was over the moon happy! But I would have also embraced a little girl from Bulgaria.

In the meantime we were contacted by an agency with a baby due to be born with Down Syndrome. A girl! We were so excited.
But when she was born a week early, she did not have DS. We were crushed.

We took a break and told our adoption agency we'd take a break and resume in Spring. (This was also while a grown child we raised had called Social Services on us.) We had a lot of emotions to work through.
Early March before we called them, our adoption agency called about OUR daughter. Miss Mercy. It didn't "feel" as exciting as we expected it to. This was a "desperate" placement. Thank goodness I refuse to go by my "feelings"!

And then it was such a long ordeal - months before our State believed we could care for all her many needs, and allowed her to stay. But God knew before she was even born- who her forever mommy and daddy would be!

Tom was a little sad to lose his dream. And Mercy was not as excited to see us as we were. But of course he sees now, he is her Daddy. That was 3 years ago last March.

This is my sweet LOVE waking up. I wouldn't trade any sleepless night with her for a different daughter. She needed us. We needed her.

The other day I was having a meeting with my favorite DC. (a person I pay to keep our Group Home paperwork compliant with the State) We were discussing MA and Sp's health. My DC is young, her children are under 3. As I age everyone gets younger! LOL!
She looked at me and asked "Are you still going to do this after MA and SP are gone?"

I should not have been surprised. But I was.

Since Mercy, CC and G, have come; we see the great need for a new kind of group home client. I hate to think of children living in Group Homes, but it is a fact today. And where better than where there is a mom and dad figure instead of "staff".

 In a time when people don't have time for children like these- we do. After so much experience and God given wisdom, why would we waste it? Prayers are always answered as God knows/does best. Would this be my choosing? Probably not. It's hard work, I'm human, I like to relax! :o) But I eagerly seek Him to answer His call. Knowing He does the really hard stuff for us! And He gives strength beyond our imaginations.

This is not something we "do", it's not a "job". This is how we live.

And I can't think of a bigger blessing! Lord willing we will live like this until He tells to stop! How will we know when He is done with us? Through daily prayers,  through daily walking hand in hand with Him! He never forsakes us!